(Minghui.org) Children are the most beautiful gift that God can give to a family. I was overwhelmed by the arrival of our daughter Ya. However, in today’s China, it is really difficult to raise children with good character and behavior.
I am grateful to Falun Dafa for showing me the way to educate my child and bring her up well. I planted the seeds of Falun Dafa’s principles—Truthfulness, Compassion, and Forbearance—in her heart. Over the past ten years or so, Ya has remained innocent and kind.
(Continued from Part 1)
A Lesson from a Placemat
One day after school, Ya said to me with a sad face, “Mom, my classmate in front of me drew on my placemat and messed it up. This placemat was bought not long ago. If the teacher sees it like that, she will scold me. What should I do?”
I looked at the placemat. The white mat was indeed a mess, with black marker scribbles all over it. I said, “Mom can wash the scribbles off, but you can't be angry, okay?”
Ya thought about it and said, “But Mom, I’m still a little angry.”
I looked at her little face and said, “A person is like a container. If you fill it with anger, you will become a container full of anger. When you are full, you will explode. Resentment is a very bad thing; it will turn you into the very person you resent.”
Ya looked at me in shock.
I continued, “One must learn to understand, to be tolerant. Forgiveness is like the sun, which is always there, shining and keeping everyone warm. It is that way for everyone and everything, without distinction or complaint.”
Ya nodded and said, “Mom, I forgive him now.”
The True Value of Test Scores
Education in China has turned its back on its roots. With the pressure of exams, students are exhausted and parents can’t sleep well at night. When Ya started elementary school, I also faced the same situation. Thanks to Falun Dafa, I understood how to balance the relationship between education, study, and grades.
One day when Ya got her midterm exam results, she looked worried and said, “Mom, don’t look at my test scores. I’m afraid you’ll spank me.”
I was amused and replied, “When did I ever criticize you because of your grades? And I’ve never spanked you. Think back. The few times I criticized you, it was because you didn’t put enough effort into your studies.”
Ya gave me the report card with a guilty look on her face. I looked at it and said, “It is a bit bad this time, but that’s a good thing, too.”
Ya looked at me in confusion.
I put the report card down and smiled as I said, “Let me tell you a secret. When I was in middle school, my grades were really terrible at first, until I figured out my problem. Because I rarely looked back at the mistakes I made, what I didn’t understand remained a mystery. I then started to take my mistakes seriously and decided to figure out what was wrong and why. I also went through them often until I became very clear on how to solve them. My grades soon started to improve. When I was in college, I was the top student in my department; when I was in graduate school, I even got a perfect score.”
Ya looked at me in amazement, “Really? Were your grades ever as bad as mine this time?”
I replied, “Worse than yours this time—I failed several subjects. Your mom has taken countless exams, in high school and college and then in graduate school. I discovered that the worse the score, the more lessons you learn from it and the better you know what you don’t know. So, after the test, how to make up for your deficiencies and correct your mistakes is the value of the test. If you focus on the score, you’re wrong. That’s why, over the years, I never minded your grades and never sent you to tutoring classes. I think that, as long as you take your studies seriously and work hard to do well, that is great.”
Ya nodded reassuringly and opened her book bag, ready to sort out her mistakes.
Ya grew into a beautiful girl.
One day, she came home from an exam and gushed, “Mom, today the invigilator looked at the picture on my pass and said I was beautiful.”
I deliberately looked at her closely and said, “Not ugly, not bad. However, a beautiful appearance and true beauty are not the same. A person’s appearance is easy to change, it is only transient and cannot last, while true beauty is different, it is from the inside out and is a reflection of one’s character. The Shen Yun show that you never miss every year is wonderful and superb. It’s because the dancers’ every look and movement transmits their sincerity, compassion, and selflessness. That is the beauty of the divinely inspired culture on earth.”
Ya immediately said, “Shen Yun is my favorite. I can’t get enough of it.”
I said, “If you want to become beautiful, you have to cultivate yourself and live by the principles of Truthfulness, Compassion, and Forbearance. Then you will become more and more beautiful. But by then, you won’t think about your own beauty anymore, because when you only have others in your mind, you will forget about yourself.”
Ya is not a rebellious adolescent. She discusses everything with me, and I respect her opinions and views. She also reminds me if I do something wrong, so that I can constantly improve myself.
One day last summer, Ya and I were so busy cleaning house that we lost track of time. She said, “Mom, I’m hungry.” I looked at the time—it was already 1:30 in the afternoon. “Let’s order some takeaway,” I suggested. “I’m not good at ordering by the phone. How about you choose the food yourself.”
She took the phone, placed the order, and gave the phone back to me to pay. I saw that there was an option on the page that if the food is delivered later than the specified time, you could be compensated. I said to Ya, “Tick that option so the courier will deliver it quickly. You’re hungry.”
Ya looked at me, her eyes wide. She raised her voice and said, “Mom, it’s hard enough for the delivery man to work on such a hot day. How can we still hurry him? What if something happens? Can’t we just wait a little longer?”
Her words shocked me. Her consideration for others made me see my own selfishness. I said sincerely, “I was wrong. I only thought about you getting something to eat quickly and didn’t think about the delivery man. I was selfish. I will change.”
For more than ten years, with the grace of Falun Dafa, Ya and I have been broad-minded, selfless, and happy.
Thank you, Master! Thank you for all that Falun Dafa has brought us!
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