Returning to the Heart I Had at the Beginning of My Cultivation

(Minghui.org) Greetings, esteemed Master and fellow practitioners!

During the two years between 2020 and 2022, the time of the pandemic, I experienced major changes in my life. It was a huge wake-up call for my cultivation. This prompted me to do a comprehensive reflection on the state of my cultivation. I also let go of my attachments in an effort to return to the state of cultivation I had at the beginning of my cultivation. I am trying my hardest to catch up as I walk on the path toward divinity.

I was in shock at the sudden death of my husband, also a practitioner, in the summer of 2021. Although I had experienced the pain of losing my parents when I was a child, it was a lengthy process, while my husband’s death was very sudden. The time between the onset of his symptoms and his death was very short. For the first time in my 22 years of cultivation, I really felt that it was an “excruciating” (Teachings at the Conference in Switzerland) process.

The death of a family member made me feel as if I had passed through a big test of life and death. When this happened, I had been at home for almost a year due to the pandemic lockdown, so I’d had no contact with other practitioners for a long time. I could only hear their voices on Fridays when I joined the online Fa group study. Their encouragement by phone at that time was very helpful. It strengthened my righteous thoughts. I took the initiative to start contacting fellow practitioners, and one of them was willing to drive me to the media group practice site in the morning so I was able to join the group exercises.

The next morning, I felt a tremendous amount of energy as soon as I did the first exercise with the group. I completed two-and-a-half hours of exercises with the group, including one hour for the second exercise. I usually find it hard to persist for so long, and it felt great. It seemed that I was no longer as depressed, and my righteous thoughts were strengthened. I thought that I could not find excuses to be lazy in the future. I must persist in participating in group exercises.

For a while, I could not emotionally accept the sudden death of a loved one. I cried very often. I knew that this test was directed at my heart. Only by finding the attachments and being determined to get rid of them could I pass this test within a relatively short time. There was no other way, but to study the Fa, to study the Fa with a calm heart, and to study the Fa a lot.

First of all, I began to focus on studying the Fa, copying and memorizing the Fa with a calm heart, and comprehending the principles of the Fa carefully, instead of studying the Fa with the mentality of completing a task. Online with other practitioners, I studied Zhuan Falun and Master’s lectures given in other regions. After Fa-study we could share our thoughts and experiences.

I have been slowly changing my notions given the Fa study.

Master said,

“Whatever you experience during your cultivation—whether good or bad—is good, for it comes about only because you are cultivating. A cultivator cannot achieve Consummation when laden with human thoughts, laden with karmic debts, or laden with attachments.” (“To the Chicago Fa Conference,” The Essentials of Diligent Progress III)

Based on the Fa, I understand that not even a single attachment to fame, self-interest, and sentimentality can be taken to heaven, and it is better to let go of them earlier than later.

I have been cultivating for 22 years, reading the Fa every day, and practitioners told me many times about the benefits of memorizing the Fa. I was really motivated to memorize the Fa this time.

Every morning at 6:30 a.m. I would be in front of the computer, memorizing the Fa with fellow practitioners from all over the world. Layers of the principles of the Fa, which I had never seen before, began to appear. When I read the Fa again, it was as if each word had a new meaning and each word had a different meaning. It was a feeling that I hadn’t felt for a long time. It was a very rewarding time—the change I went through felt like a process of rebirth. I had a brand-new understanding of the Fa, and I cherished the opportunity even more that I am attaining the Law of the Cosmos.

Through Fa study, the feeling of “excruciating” pain faded. It was obvious that a lot of the material of sentimentality in the other dimension had been removed.

For many years, I was busy doing things and did not pay attention to solid cultivation. Because my Fa study was superficial, there were frequent tribulations and tests. I did not use the Fa to evaluate situations. Instead, I used human thoughts. I did not value every opportunity Master arranged for me to improve, and I did not take a solid approach to cultivation and remove my attachments. I did not look within often enough and looked at others instead. Therefore, the attachments of comfort, vanity, dependence, jealousy, the desire for fame, and affection for family had not been firmly removed. When I got married three years ago, I wanted to guide my husband, who was a new practitioner, to elevate in the Fa with me. But later on, we gradually started to live an ordinary life, and I was very dependent on my husband. Since I did not do a good job, not only did I not help him, I also let up in my will to be diligent.

During the pandemic, I worked from home for a long time and did not have a group environment. I slacked off in Fa study and doing the exercises—I could not manage to do all the exercises every day. I didn’t want to get up early in the morning and often gave myself excuses to watch YouTube videos. Once I started watching them, I couldn’t control myself and watched everyday people’s videos until late at night, and then I could not get up the next day. I knew it was not right to do this for a long time, but it was difficult to make a breakthrough.

One day my arms started to hurt, and it was difficult to lift them. It was, in fact, an obvious warning that there was a problem in my cultivation. I hastened to correct myself based on the Fa, to disintegrate these acquired notions and human thoughts. I sent forth righteous thoughts to remove these particular attachments. None of them were my true self, they were all acquired notions and had to be completely removed.

This incident really made me realize that there is nothing trivial in cultivation. The old forces are watching each and every practitioner. If we do not cultivate ourselves, instead of accumulating more of these trivial matters, the final test will be too big.

Cherish Group Exercises and Group Fa Study: Returning to the Cultivation State I Had at the Beginning

After I went through this test, I had a strong desire to listen to Master’s words, to participate in group exercises and group Fa study, and to return to the cultivation state I had at the beginning.

Perhaps Master saw my heart and arranged things for me accordingly. The first thing I did was to join a group exercise in the morning with a senior practitioner. Once the “Falun Dafa Is Good” banner that shined with golden light was hung, four or five practitioners did the exercises together facing a busy road. During those few months, I felt refreshed and invigorated every day.

Later on, a colleague was willing to pick me up every morning and take me to the media office for group exercises and Fa study. The new office was very big and bright, and the environment was especially good. I am grateful for the effort of my fellow practitioners, and Master’s benevolent arrangement. I have persisted in doing the exercises and studying the Fa in the mornings with my colleagues for almost a year now. Almost every day, I hold the wheel to do the Falun Standing Stance for an hour, and I can often feel the wheel spinning rapidly in my palms and the heat flowing through my body. I have benefited a lot. My arms do not hurt anymore, and without realizing when it happened, I can now lift them.

Having spent time with fellow practitioners, I learned to cherish time. For example, as soon as we get in the car, we start to memorize the Fa. We listen to Minghui Radio articles during meals. I have more and more energy every day. I don’t get sleepy even when I only sleep for four or five hours a night, so I have more time to do the three things.

Now, the happiest time of my day is when I am with my fellow practitioners, doing the exercises and studying the Fa. I really have the feeling of assimilating into the Fa. It’s as if every cell is smiling, as if I’m back in the early stages of my cultivation. I feel very happy.

I used to use my busy schedule as an excuse for not wanting to get rid of laziness. I often could not guarantee that I would do the exercises every day, so I was ashamed that I didn’t even meet the most basic requirements of a beginning practitioner. I enlightened that, in fact, doing the exercises is also the elimination of karma. If one cannot persist in doing the exercises, one does not want to suffer, and suffering is also one aspect of improving xinxing. That meant I did not take the initiative to eliminate the karma that I was supposed to get rid of in this area. I did not improve my xinxing either. When more karma is accumulated, one might face a big tribulation.

Group Fa study is also very rewarding. Every morning after the exercises, we study Zhuan Falun. During Fa study, one must take the Fa to heart and compare it to oneself. After studying one lecture, we start a busy day of media work. I felt very solid in my heart.

Since I write international news, I have to select—from a vast amount of information and in a short period of time—things that can convey traditional values and are of interest to readers or things that can expose the evilness of the Chinese Communist Party and the infiltration of the communist specter in the Western world. It is not easy. I often feel that when I study the Fa well, I get twice the results with half the effort. The wisdom of validating the Fa will come out in a continuous, steady stream, including finding the right material and how to write about it. Everything seems to be in order, and the article views are also relatively high.

I have to complete three website articles and multiple article reviews per day. My workload is already not small. Later on, I was asked to be responsible for two editions of the local newspaper—Canadian news and community news—and I also have to write video scripts. But I’ve found that, by persisting in the morning exercises and Fa study, my resistance to stress has also increased. I am able to complete my work more efficiently every day, and I don’t miss the evening group Fa study.

Due to Fa study, I am no longer so attached to the number of views the articles I write get, my heart no longer ebbs and flows with it. I do my best and let the rest take its natural course. I’m just a particle in this project to support the whole media. I just need to do my part well.

Every time after Fa study, I feel cleansed by the Fa, and I feel that fellow practitioners are closer to each other. It seems that the gaps in other dimensions have been removed by the Fa. It is also motivating for us to share our cultivation experiences.

The media is very strong when it comes to saving people. Recently, The Epoch Times and New Tang Dynasty have moved to a new address, there are more practitioners from several media groups participating in the morning exercises, and the energy field is stronger.

As a disciple, I will keep in mind that I must maintain the diligent state I had when I first started cultivation to fulfill my vow to save people and to submit a satisfactory report to Master.

Thank you, Master and fellow practitioners!

(Presented at the 2022 Canada Falun Dafa Cultivation Experience Sharing Conference)