(Minghui.org) Master Li Hongzhi (Falun Dafa’s founder) told the story of a cultivator who developed attachments of zealotry and fear when he was about to reach the Fruition Status of Arhatship, and subsequently dropped in levels. The attachment of fear is a fatal roadblock in cultivation, and is one of the major excuses that the old forces use to aggravate the persecution. Dafa practitioners must completely overcome this attachment.

I was able to do the three things Master requires in a dignified manner before I was persecuted in 2019, and thought I held no fear. Then I suddenly developed serious illness symptoms in custody, and was hospitalized for a week. I wasn’t getting any better, and the doctors issued the “notice of critical illness” twice. The detention center had to release me on bail. Right after I left the hospital, I immediately gave up all the medical treatments, and focused on studying the Fa and doing the exercises. I quickly recovered. People were amazed by witnessing my improvement.

I thought I had passed the test of fear. However, I hadn’t. After my release, my emotions were stirred when my family members cried and told me of the pressure, fears, and hardships they had endured during my detention. As I felt the warmth of affection and basked in the love of family, they said they could never withstand the pain and disasters experienced if I were to be persecuted again. I felt an indescribable sense of fear.

When I was told of my sentence, and informed that I would still be jailed for more than a year, I felt afraid for the imminent disconnect with my family, and for the continuing pressures that would be undertaken by my family members. I also held the concern whether I could bear the tortures in prison. However, I was fully aware that if a Dafa practitioner’s will is destroyed, it is something more dreadful than losing the flesh body.

The court demanded that I submit my medical and treatment records issued by the hospital, stating that they needed these to file medical parole for me. I told them I relied on Dafa, and had never received treatment from the hospital after I was released on bail. What I had was only the record of treatment I was forced to undertake in the detention center. But they said that was not enough.

They had persecuted me until I was on the brink of death, turned me over to my family and waited for me to die. When I recovered through practicing Dafa, they dragged me back to prison and continued their persecution, wanting to totally destroy my willpower. Just how evil is the Chinese Communist Party (CCP)?

It was a monumental test for me and a severe battle between justice and evil. I knew I should send strong righteous thoughts intensively and use my supernatural powers endowed by Master and Dafa to disintegrate the persecution.

I needed to cleanse my energy field and fundamentally overcome the attachment of fear. I began to look inward to find the root of the fear. First, I discovered my attachment to comfort, then found my attachment to sentimentality. I knew this was not enough, and kept looking inward.

A paragraph of the Fa was imprinted on my mind,

“If upon encountering trying circumstances your thinking can be truly righteous, then, when faced with the evil’s persecution and when faced with interference, just one sentence of yours fortified with steadfast righteous thoughts can instantly make the evil disintegrate (applause), and it will make those who are being used by the evil turn and flee, it will make the evil’s persecution of you dissolve, and it will make the evil’s interfering with you disappear without a trace. One thought born of righteous faith is all it takes. And whoever can hold firm to that righteous thought and go the distance will become a magnificent god forged by Dafa.” (“Teaching the Fa at the Western U.S. International Fa Conference,” Collected Teachings Given Around the World, Volume VII)

The words “righteous faith” shook me. I asked myself: Why was I persecuted and interfered with? Why could I not immediately disintegrate the evil and make it disappear without a trace? Instead of making those who are being used by the evil turn and flee, why did I always feel upset, apprehensive and suspicious? Was it because I lack “righteous faith”?

A recalcitrant voice was saying, “I have been following Master for over 20 years, and have passed numerous tests and tribulations, how can you say I lack righteous faith?”

Another voice began to chime in, “Don’t panic, let’s look inside.”

Master said, 

“I am rooted in the universe. If anyone could harm you, he or she would be able to harm me. Put simply, that person would be able to harm this universe.” (Lecture One, Zhuan Falun)

“… if your mind can be imperturbable there will be nothing you can’t handle.” (“Eliminate Your Last Attachment(s)”, The Essentials of Diligent Progress II)

Do I really believe this?

Master said,

“A Dafa disciple should completely negate everything arranged by the evil old forces.” (“Dafa Is Indestructible”, The Essentials of Diligent Progress II)

““I’m Li Hongzhi’s disciple, I don’t want other arrangements or acknowledge them”—then they won’t dare to do that. So it can all be resolved. When you can really do that, not just saying it but putting it into action, Master will definitely stand up for you.” (Teachings Given on Lantern Festival Day, 2003)

Am I really able to not acknowledge the old forces’ arrangements? Do I really believe that Master’s law body is watching me, and taking care of me all the time? Do I believe that Master will stand up for me?

Indeed, with 100% belief in Dafa, how can a Dafa practitioner fear anything? I eventually found the fundamental cause of my fear: I didn’t completely believe in Master and Dafa!

This was the consequence of long-term pollution of the deviated modern notions and ideology instilled in me by the CCP. The notion of “seeing is believing” made me suspicious of things that could not be seen or touched. The more I suspected, the less I felt the manifestation of supernatural abilities. This formed a vicious cycle, and was the source of my attachment of fear.

The only way to fundamentally resolve this problem is to study the Fa a lot. Through Fa study, I could cleanse myself. The more filthy matter is cleared away, the more purified I will be. When I become crystal clear, I will assimilate to Dafa. Besides intensifying my Fa-study by reading, transcribing and memorizing the Fa, I sent forth strong righteous thoughts toward those rotten factors that had been obstructing me from completely believing in Dafa. I reminded myself that my belief in Master and Dafa would be stronger, the negative thoughts would be weaker, and would finally be disintegrated. The cultivation way of Dafa practitioners is arranged entirely by our merciful and great Master!

I sent forth a firm thought: those who dare to visit me will only be those with predestined relationships, who want to listen to the truth about Dafa, and be saved. Any who dare to harass me and persecute Dafa practitioners will be eliminated by the supernatural abilities of the Buddha Fa, and those who obsessively continue their participation in the persecution will be punished immediately! Along with the cleansing of Dafa, the factor of fear will totally disappear, and my energy field will be strong and immaculately clear!