[Fa Conference in Switzerland 2022] Practicing Falun Dafa on the Daily Cultivation Path as a Nurse

(Minghui.org) Esteemed Master and fellow practitioners:

When the 2022 European Fa Conference was held in Warsaw, I was very happy. It was an excellent opportunity to find out how much I needed to improve so that I could catch up with my fellow practitioners, and to reflect more deeply on my views and idiosyncrasies.

Through listening to a number of experience sharing articles I realized among other things that I did not have the courage to put my findings on paper and share them with fellow practitioners. My self-doubt was too great, and I believed that my understanding was too superficial.

However, to my surprise this year’s experience sharing was rather down to earth. Therefore, I wondered what other hints Master wanted to give me besides the gaps I had with other practitioners. I realized that no matter what has happened, my cultivation level had improved, and I always had to realign myself to the Fa going forward. This motivated me to reflect on and write about the last two years of my cultivation experiences despite the resistance I experienced.

When the lockdown was declared in many countries two years ago, the last performance of Shen Yun in Switzerland happened only recently. Many of us thought that it might be some time before we would meet again and participate in the Shen Yun project. We are grateful that Master still allowed us to experience this, and at the same time we wondered what this meant for Shen Yun and sentient beings.

In the months that followed, many trials faced me. Some were more superficial, while others were more profound. Some manifested themselves on the physical level, and others on the psychological level. Today I am here to share this process and express my appreciation to Master and the Fa.

Cultivation During my Daily Assignments

I work as a nurse in a transitional care unit. This means that patients are referred to us directly after their hospital stay, after which they stay for a few weeks, and then another solution is found for them.

When the pandemic was declared, the fear and uncertainty was great and felt everywhere in our area. Pretty quickly, our normal ward became a COVID ward.

Then, as the pandemic progressed, our station was split up into two. One continued to operate as before – regular assignments – and the other became the COVID station where I was assigned to. We were now completely separated from all the stations for an indefinite period of time. It was as if we were a world apart.

We had only a small dark break room assigned to us, and we were not allowed to leave the station during working hours. We were given plastic protective suits and wore an additional mask on top of the regular FFP2 mask. In addition we were provided protective goggles, which made breathing much more difficult. Due to the lack of staff, the constant absenteeism caused by the isolation of the staff and the great fear of working in our ward, we were often unable to take breaks and sometimes worked seven to eight hours until we could go to the toilet or eat and drink for the first time.

No one but the nursing staff was allowed to work in our department for a few months. In addition to our regular duties, we had to add other types of regular jobs, such as cleaning the shower rooms, wards and kitchen, as well as internal and external telephones and fetching and bringing food. In short, it presented us with great physical and mental challenges. The only connection to the outside world was the telephone. The duty roster changed almost daily, and on some days even hourly.

Very quickly it crystallized how such an environment affected my colleagues, and how I, as a cultivator, dealt with it. It was an excellent environment to improve my xinxing, and find my attachments and views of what was happening.

In the beginning, I was still motivated - this was probably due to the attachment of wanting to prove myself. But, after a few months, I felt more demoralized than motivated.

At many moments, I had to admit to myself that my desire for where my xinxing should have been at the time did not coincide with reality. Even though I knew the Fa principles and they were clear to me on a human level, I often could not implement and follow the simplest principles in everyday life. However, despite exhaustion, I continued to make an effort to study the Fa daily. Also, I continued to follow the principles of Truthfulness, Compassion, and Forbearance.

Besides I continued to clarify the truth about Falun Dafa to the patients or their families, if they were receptive. However, I found it difficult to bear and endure when it came to their understanding of the background of this. A lot of frustration and hopelessness arose in me.

Dealing With Conflicts

One of my colleagues, with whom I had repeated conflicts before the pandemic, complained to other colleagues that I was not working fast enough, and that my workload was too small to work in this ward. She also criticized me for my lack of routine. At that point, I had only been working there for three days. The procedures were really not made clear to me yet, and I had not been able to gain that much experience in day-to-day work in prior years. After the critique, I could perceive within me attachments such as anger, disappointment, and resentment. I was disappointed because I had tried very hard at work. My human part reacted very strongly to the criticism, although I understood that it was a test.

Similar things happened over and over again. She also exposed and criticized me in front of others. As best as I could, I tried to bear it. But, on the human level it wore me down, and at that moment my eyes were filled with tears. Another colleague approached me about it, but I refused to address the issue. Too often I found that at those moments my emotions were too strong. I decided to talk to her when there was a quiet moment. I realized that by looking inward how difficult it was for me to disappoint others, not to meet expectations, and still value others and myself.

Another colleague noticed the situation, and one day asked me if I would like to move to the regular ward. Since she herself believes in karmic retribution, she understood that I wanted to stay, and understood my way of not wanting to fight. She was surprised that I tried to see this situation as growth, yet expressed my appreciation to my colleague. It was clear to me that this appreciation was a test.

It was a long process, and again and again I tried to eliminate the negative substances. Sometimes it was easier while it was worse at other times.

I remembered that this situation helped me elevate. But, it was painful because we could not avoid meeting each other in the ward.

Master kept helping me correct my state of mind using the Fa principles. I learned to adopt a benevolent attitude despite the pain, and also tried to eliminate my attachments.

My colleague noticed this and her behavior changed a lot as a result. During a reflection session with the leaders, she expressed her appreciation to me. Since that time, our cooperation has gone well.

For a long time, we as a team were without leadership and on our own. One day our team leadership came to us because of the staff shortage. In the beginning, some tried to please her until we all realized that we were on our own. We experienced that despite promises for more staff, we could not rely on anyone. During these months, with the help of Master, I was able to realize that in the end only the attitude of the individual matters. It may define the area of responsibility, but what is the the real growth and success of a team is the heart – even if they are ordinary people.

Observing Everyday Life, and Taking Cues from Master

I learned, given the different situations to look inward, to better endure tense circumstances, and to grow beyond my limits. I was also allowed to learn humility. When my boss came to the COVID station, I experienced how she was very insecure despite her position. Together, we helped her to accept the new area of responsibility, without forgetting that she was in a leadership position. She pitched in everywhere and we had a common goal. During this difficult time, I often watched the video, “What does it take to be a Shen Yun dancer?” Then, I tried to follow the example of what I learned from the Shen Yun performances and the attitude of the performers.

I noticed that the more and deeper I looked inside, the more I was willing to learn from the conflicts, and the more my surroundings harmonized. Slowly and steadily I could see that negative substances that surrounded me were not from my true self, but were from my dimensional field. They did not correspond to how Master sees me, and what I should recognize as my true self. So I tried to eliminate them as soon as I noticed them.

I noticed the processes that our team was going through, and it was an encouragement from Master for me to notice my faults and attachments. I should not hide them, but overcome them with the Fa principles and to accept my limitations, knowing that the limitations can also be gotten rid of once I raised my level. Master gave me this time to recognize Fa principles, my gaps, and to grow. Nevertheless, I was glad that the time was over when the COVID station was closed.

Master said:

“I’ve always said that this entire society is in fact a setting for our Dafa disciples to cultivate in. You are cultivating out in the world, and not off in a religious setting, so whatever job or trade you are in serves as a setting for your cultivation, doesn’t it?” (“Teaching the Fa in Washington D.C. In 2018,” Collected Fa Teachings, Vol. XV)

Learning from the Most Difficult Patients to Cultivate Kindness and Compassion

After some months, I noticed that my teammates’ outlook toward me had changed. It was characterized by increased level of trust.

They would often now send me to see patients who were particularly challenging in their behavior. It was not uncommon for these patients to be aggressive, difficult to manage, or uncooperative.

A colleague said to me one day, “How come you have this patience? I would have walked away or told him off a long time ago.” I really noticed how Dafa slowly but steadily changed me in my ways of looking at things and how I reacted. Even though it was often repugnant at my human level when I had to attend to these patients, I understood that Master had chosen this form for me, among others, to be able to expose my waywardness. It was the fear of violence and injury, the fear of losing face, and the quest for recognition.

Just before the Shen Yun performance, I truly remembered the attitude of a patient. This patient was a doctor and rather resentful and frustrated. Every time we tried to motivate him to get up or take care of his personal hygiene, he would yell at us. He looked down upon us and his communication was disrespectful -- angry, condescending and curt. During our nursing activities, he often insulted us. Hardly any nurses wanted to go into his room anymore.

The first day I nursed him, I remembered a story in which a woman with a lot of karma washed the feet of a deity. This deity, despite her lowly status, was filled with goodness and kindness. I wondered why this of all things came to mind. Then, I realized, “Wasn’t he a living being that I had to save? If this deity was so filled with kindness and goodness - why couldn’t I be like that - no matter how he treated me?” And so I began to care for him with that inner attitude. All I had to do was open my heart and let go of my ego. In the beginning, my inner self still moved strongly when he insulted me, even if I didn’t show it. He was arrogant and dismissive -- in front of the doctors he said that I was stupid.

This created the thought that nobody wanted to take care of him anymore, because he refused everything. Again and again I was assigned or had myself assigned to him, since no one liked to take care of him. Since he was a person who did not like to talk or listen, I had only one way to express the three principles -- Truthfulness, Compassion and Forbearance -- through my attitude and action.

Some of my colleagues were amazed that he let me take care of him every time and often even changed his clothes. In the process, I realized how much of my ego had disappeared, and how much it still sometimes challenged me to act based on the three principles of Truthfulness, Compassion, and Forbearance.

One day, after weeks of caring for him, I decided to get him out of bed. He berated me and told me that he would not get out of bed. I noticed his anxiety. It was nice weather and I took him out to the woods in his wheelchair. It was the first time he had left his bed in months. I hardly spoke, but tried to have a sincere attitude and understand his resentment and fear. I was completely filled with the principles of Truthfulness, Compassion, and Forbearance. After that, I brought him back to the room. I had my colleague pick two flowers and put them on his table. When I left the room, he thanked me.

Returning to Performing Shen Yun Activities

During the past two years I was able to change a lot, which was beneficial for my duties when being involved with Shen Yun.

Master had guided me through many situations, and shown me many of my problems through fellow human beings. I was able to recognize where and what negative substances were in my dimension, and eliminated them. My patience had grown, and I was encouraged to do things on my own, and to keep validating the Fa at the level I was at at the time, even if in retrospect not everything went well.

I can see how I am quick to judge incidents based on my old views or understanding of the past, and I am often deceived in my perception when I am not in the Fa. As a result, I often seem to move away from the Fa, especially when facing conflicts, so that they then intensify. When this is the case, I feel disgruntled and frustrated, which reinforced everything even more.

I have found in recent months, after Shen Yun performances, that I have the attachment to comfort and would prefer to experience no suffering.

But, what I was able to learn during this difficult time was to walk my path as a true Falun Dafa practitioner. While it will not save me from feeling alone at times, I can still learn to open my heart and elevate myself.

When Shen Yun came to Switzerland this year, it pleased me. Unlike the other years, I looked at every step as cultivation. Even though I still suffer from self-doubt, I am walking my own path more courageously than in the past years, when my human attitude of seeking fame and fortune was still part of me. I have learned to feel more humility, and can acknowledge the Fa at my level, knowing that it is limited. I have learned not to always want to hide missteps and to have the courage to face them. It has been possible for me to face and endure situations that I used to be afraid of.

I thank Master for opening my heart more every day and letting me cultivate. And, I thank my fellow practitioners for helping me on my cultivation path.

(Presented at the 2022 Switzerland Fa Conference)