Unconditionally Admitting “It’s My Fault”

(Minghui.org) After many painstaking lessons on the topic of looking inward, I learned I should unconditionally remind myself, “It’s my fault,” when encountering conflicts with practitioners or people who don’t practice Falun Dafa. It’s a painful process and requires a committed effort. However, as long as I persevere in admitting I’m wrong, I will surely improve from the experience.

My enlightenment quality was not very good. Although I was fortunate to read Zhuan Falun in 1995, three years passed before I began practicing Falun Dafa. At that time, I did not understand what it meant to cultivate. So I put in little effort and only read the Fa when I had time.

On July 20, 1999, the Chinese Communist Party (CCP) began to persecute Falun Dafa. I experienced being imprisoned and tortured many times. During this period, I knew that I had to cultivate myself and look inward. I found many shortcomings and gained a deeper understanding of the Fa. I then began reading the teachings earnestly without getting distracted. I also did my best to send forth righteous thoughts and clarify the facts about the persecution to others. After several years, I gradually thought that I had a good understanding of cultivation and did well as a practitioner.

In the past, when I read a passage of the Fa related to an incorrect state of cultivation, I thought it only applied to other practitioners. I believed that I was doing quite well. In fact, I failed to realize that I did not know how to truly cultivate. For example, when looking inward, I tended to see myself as being correct. Although I was able to admit that my negative attitude towards others was wrong, I blamed them for provoking my anger. As a result, I was complacent and did not try to improve. Years passed, and I made very little progress. 

I now finally know that I was deeply obstructed by human attachments, CCP culture, and modern ideologies. I failed to see my poor cultivation state. The turning point started when I began admitting my faults unconditionally during conflicts. 

My sister and I had a serious conflict that we were unable to resolve. I forced myself to say to my sister that I was wrong, even though I thought otherwise. She didn’t appreciate my effort to smooth things over and refused to talk to me. I continued to apologize to her until she finally gave me a chance to mend our relationship.

For the first time in my life, I had to make amends over and over despite the fact that I believed I was not at fault. It was a heart wrenching experience for me. If I did not practice Dafa, I really couldn’t have done it. After taking this step, however, my cultivation state improved to a new level.

In the beginning, when I encountered a conflict, I habitually and unconsciously looked for others’ faults. I had to remind myself to say, “It’s my fault,” regardless of the circumstances. When I did this, I gradually looked inward in the midst of conflicts. I also examined myself to see where I could improve.

When I tried my best to admit that I was at fault during conflicts, Master showed me where I was wrong when I read the Fa. This helped me wholeheartedly admit my faults. Over time, I could deal with sudden conflicts calmly and rationally. After finding many of my deep human attachments, I no longer thought that I cultivated well. In the past, I was actually arrogant and self-obsessed. I did not realize that I should be humble.

When I read the teachings, I gradually realized that Master already mentioned my problems and where I could do better. I previously could not see the true principles of the Fa! After I had this realization, I felt like I just began practicing cultivation. I now constantly gain new understandings and insights when I read the Fa, and I’m able to see where I had misunderstandings before.

My persistent cultivation experience of admitting my faults unconditionally in the midst of conflicts enabled me to find my deeply hidden attachments and distorted notions. I realize the seriousness of cultivation and cherish the opportunity to practice Falun Dafa.

My level of understanding is very limited. Please correct me if there are any shortcomings or mistakes in my sharing. Thank you.