Interactions Between Men and Women Must Be Proper

(Minghui.org) More than ten years ago I was arrested for refusing to give up my faith in Falun Dafa. While I was held in a local detention, a fellow practitioner managed to pass me a note asking me to look within and see if I had any of the attachments listed in the note, one of which was lust. I was just over 30 at the time, and had been strict with myself in this regard. Fearing the persecution, my husband divorced me, and I had not considered remarrying. I lived alone and did not think that I had the attachment to lust.

There must be a reason that the practitioner speculated that I still had the attachment to lust, so I looked within. A male practitioner who had become destitute because of the persecution once told me that he had a crush on me. In fact, I did not like him a bit and had never said or done anything to imply that I had any interest in him. I began to wonder why this had happened. I realized I had helped him before, and my behavior must not have been prudent enough, thus leading him to fantasize about the possibility of dating me. It was me being irresponsible that created an obstacle on his cultivation path.

Helping a practitioner in trouble is something every one of us should do, but we must keep a distance when it comes to interactions with the opposite sex. I used to believe that I no longer had the thoughts of lust so I never treated male practitioners as the opposite sex. In my mind, whether male or female, they were all practitioners.

This was a big mistake, because we practice in ordinary people’s society, and we should follow the principles the divine has set for mankind, and behavior between men and women should be above board.

Master says, “the Buddha-light illuminates everywhere and harmonizes everything.” (Lecture Six, Zhuan Falun)

In my understanding, it means that a good practitioner definitely should act decently among ordinary people.

As I continued to look within, I found more gaps. The male practitioners in my area liked to come to me for help. It might seem that I had righteous thoughts and was a capable person on the surface, but hiding underneath were the old forces’ elements, including the attraction between the sexes and believing it was easier to work with someone of the opposite sex. These are degenerate notions. For a while, I was involved in so much Dafa work that I could not study the Fa calmly without disruptions. It eventually led to my arrest.

Even after I was released, I continued to look within in this regard. I came to the realization that we shall not act carelessly in front of the opposite sex, even if we do not have lustful thoughts.

Master says,

“The boy and girl students in the performing arts company normally aren’t allowed to just casually intermingle.” (“Fa Teaching at the 2007 New York Fa Conference,” Collected Teachings Given Around the World Volume VIII)

The requirement for Dafa practitioners at this time in history must be higher than ever. I severed all unnecessary contact with male practitioners. Any favorable impression on the opposite sex is a manifestation of lust, and we must measure our every thought and action with the Fa.

An officer harassed me because I refused to give up Falun Dafa. I went to the police station to clarify the truth several times. The officer understood the truth and quit the Chinese Communist Party and its affiliated organizations, and we became friends. When a practitioner got arrested later on, I went to him for information. Before I left, he implied that he had feelings for me. I did not think much about it at the time and just  interrupted him. However, I did feel flattered afterward, and that was the attachment to lust at work.

The officer was there to expose my attachment. Sometimes, I couldn’t help but recall his compliments. I believe that the demon of lust had him say those things to me, and when I kept thinking about them, I was in fact welcoming the demon.

One day, the officer came to harass me again, and it was a rude awakening for me. The old forces tried to use him to trick me into making mistakes, and when he was of no use to them, they tried to destroy him by making him persecute me. From then on, I constantly tried to reject my bad thoughts. I knew that only when I cultivated well would I be able to save sentient beings. He stopped coming.

Sentiment grows when people spend much time together, and it interferes with what we do. We cultivate among everyday people, and it is best that we do not interact with the opposite sex if we don’t have to. I do not have an ordinary male friend, nor do I invite any male guest over. I don’t even interact with male relatives alone. I only ask for help from female practitioners, and if I need help from a male practitioner, I have a third person present. When riding in a car, I try not to sit next to a male.

In ancient China, the rules of etiquette between men and women were very strict. When a man and woman were in the same room, the door had to be open to avoid suspicion. I thought I had been paying attention to this issue, but the modern notions have deteriorated so much that I did not know what was right. We must follow the Fa, set the right example, and pave the right path for the future regarding this issue.

Editor’s note: This article only represents the author’s understanding in their current cultivation state meant for sharing among practitioners so that we can “Compare in studying, compare in cultivating.” (“Solid Cultivation,” Hong Yin)