(Minghui.org) I would like to share my experiences of removing attachments while facing conflicts with other practitioners during a media project.
Cooperating Well with Fellow Practitioners
I recently participated in a media project that required cooperation among practitioners. There were many unprecedented tests. I had conflicts with others, which soon escalated to the point that I didn’t want to see any practitioners on the team. I didn’t want to continue being involved in the project for even one minute. Moreover, I didn’t understand why I encountered so many problems, because people said that I was a very easygoing person. Before I participated in this project, I rarely argued with anyone.
There were times when I felt so angry that I wanted to walk out the door. I stayed because Master [Master Li Hongzhi, the founder of Falun Dafa] always gave me hints, telling me that all the tests were opportunities to improve my xinxing.
At times, I doubted if anyone would ever watch the program I produced. I wondered if my work could ever play any role in saving people. When I lost my confidence like this, Master enlightened me to seize the opportunity to cultivate while involved in this project. However, when I picked myself up and went back to the workplace, all kinds of complaints and troubles occurred again. Amid the conflicts, I felt like a kettle on the fire. My heart was tossed around to the extreme. The dissatisfaction and resentment toward other practitioners accumulated more and more in my heart, and the situation worsened. More practitioners appeared to be difficult. It seemed that I faced more troubles everywhere, and I felt I couldn’t move forward even one step.
“The complicated environment, in my view, is instead a good thing. The more complicated it is, the greater the individuals it will produce. If one can elevate oneself above and beyond it, one’s cultivation will be the most solid." (Lecture Nine, Zhuan Falun)
I understood that a challenging environment was exactly the best place for me to cultivate. Suppose this project was the worst one I could encounter, then shouldn’t I stay and cultivate in this complicated environment? Thus, I decided to stay in the project and pass all the tests. Whenever I encountered an issue, I told myself, “This trouble proves that I still have lots of attachments to remove. I will do better while involved in this project.” So, my heart calmed down.
Gradually, I no longer encountered so many conflicts, and my environment returned to being normal and relaxed. However, not long after I blamed a practitioner for a problem in my heart, that practitioner created some trouble for me. This made me realize that all these troubles resulted from my own attachments. I further understood that solving the problems was a process of cultivation.
Once, when I watched programs that other practitioners had produced, I felt that mine were far better. I thought that the gap between their work and mine was large. While I was thinking that way, I suddenly had the feeling that beings were happy to see the other practitioners’ programs. That happiness I became aware of didn’t come from this human world but from other dimensions, and it deeply touched my heart. I suddenly understood that all practitioners’ output has a reason to exist, whether it is perfect or not. Of course, the better the quality, the better the effect at saving people.
I realized that I really have to put aside my human prejudices, and I shouldn’t look down on other practitioners and argue endlessly. All the programs that practitioners produce have their role in saving sentient beings. Master’s arrangement must be the best one, so I should let go of my negative attitude toward other practitioners and the project.
I began practicing Falun Dafa when I was a child. However, I didn’t cultivate solidly. My friendliness was superficial. I hid many attachments and notions deep in my heart. However, at home I always lost my temper. I got angry if certain things didn’t meet my expectations. I cared about fame, so I pretended to be easygoing to maintain my reputation and good image. All my conflicts in the media project exposed my attachments to competitiveness, resentment, suspicion, and jealousy. That’s why I quarrelled with other practitioners. I then understood how poorly I had done in cultivation.
Through continuous Fa study and looking inward, I finally realized that the practitioners I had conflicts with were helping me improve. I knew that I should be grateful, and cherish this opportunity.
The conflicts with others gradually disappeared when I no longer got angry with other colleagues. I finally learned how to cultivate solidly. Thank you, Master. Thank you, fellow practitioners, who helped me improve. I will continue to improve myself and do well in this project to fulfill my mission.
Getting Rid of Hidden Jealousy
After my relationship with others improved, I found another hidden attachment through a particular incident. I also realized that I wasn’t looking at the problems from the perspective of the Fa.
One day at group Fa study, a practitioner said that she was unfairly treated and started to complain about others. She was emotional and talked for a long time. I thought it was a waste of my time and did not want to listen. This practitioner once gave me a hard time. Deep in my mind, I thought, “You treated me so badly before. Now you finally learned a lesson. It was a good thing, and you should also look inward and improve your xinxing.” As I thought this way, I suddenly saw Master’s photo, and Master’s expression was so serious.
I immediately realized that I had the deeply hidden attachments of resentment and jealousy behind my thought of “it was a good opportunity for her to improve.” I hadn’t forgotten how she hurt me, so I looked down on her when she experienced conflicts with others. I even felt happy and gloated because she was in trouble. I saw how cunning and hypocritical my attachments were. Dafa practitioners should follow the principles of Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance, but I didn’t live up to this standard.
“In cultivation, there may be two scenarios when dealing with specific conflicts or when others treat you badly. One is that you might have treated this person badly in your previous life. You feel in your heart that it is unfair, “How can this person treat me like this?” Then why did you treat this person that way in the past? You might claim that you actually did not know it at that time, and this lifetime has nothing to do with another lifetime, but that won’t do. There is another issue. In conflicts, the issue of transforming karma is involved. Therefore, when actually dealing with conflicts we should take the high road instead of acting like everyday people.” (Lecture Four, Zhuan Falun)
I continued to look inward after the group Fa study. I realized that when I felt she treated me unfairly, it was probably because I had treated her that way in a previous lifetime. In this life, I am fortunate to be a practitioner. I would have come to this world in vain if I didn’t cultivate well while I am here.
In fact, that practitioner was a mirror of my attachments. I realized that I didn’t have due respect for her and didn’t think from her perspective. I thought she was rude, and that her way of doing things was inappropriate, so I confronted her in my heart. I actually felt that she had cultivated better than I did, and I felt jealous. As a result, I refused to cooperate with her at work, which ultimately affected the project. What I should do was stop looking down on her, give up my negative opinion of her, cooperate, and do what I should do. Only in this way can we work together to help the project have a more significant effect in saving people.
Eliminating the Attachment to Comfort
For a long time, I had the notion that if I didn’t get enough sleep, I wouldn’t be able to function properly the next day. As I live in a Western area of the U.S., I usually couldn’t get up to send forth righteous thought at 2 a.m. or 3 a.m. As a result of not cleaning up my respective dimensions, I always had some messy dreams in the morning.
One day, I took a three-hour nap in the afternoon when my project was not that busy. It was already dark when I got up. I was swamped with things to do because I hadn’t yet studied the Fa and done the exercises. After midnight, it was my usual time to go to bed, but I hadn’t done the second exercise yet. I thought, “I will take a break today, and do the second exercise for only half an hour. I will feel tired tomorrow if I go to sleep late.”
I went to bed after doing the second exercise for half an hour. I told myself I finished all I should do today as I studied the Fa and did all the exercises. However, I couldn’t fall asleep. I felt uneasy, and it seemed that all the cells in my body felt restless. It suddenly occurred to me that I should have done the second exercise for one hour. I had no choice but to get up to do it, as I couldn’t fall asleep anyway. After I did the exercise, it was time to send forth righteous thoughts, so I sent forth righteous thoughts before going to sleep.
There were many times when I could not fall asleep if I didn’t finish doing the five exercises. I finally realized it was time for me to catch up with doing the exercises because I had seldom done the exercises in the past. I also found that if I took a nap for one hour during the day, I would definitely sleep one hour less at night. However, although I slept less, I was not tired the next day. I knew that Master purified my body. As long as we practice based on the Fa and let go of human notions, Master will adjust our bodies to the best state.
These are some of my experiences at this stage of my cultivation. I thank the Minghui website for providing a pure platform to help practitioners cultivate solidly. I hope we can be more diligent in cultivation in this new year.
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