(Minghui.org) I always thought I didn’t have a complaining mentality. Thus, I had never given it a second thought when my mother and sister complained. 

For example, when my sister broke a cup she became mad and complained about us, saying she broke the cup because she was distracted by our chat. I just thought she had a bad temper and did not think about it further. 

A minor incident that happened recently made me realize that I have a complaining mentality. 

My mother kept the floor fan behind the door. When I left the room, I knocked the fan over. The fan got stuck behind the door, and I couldn’t open the door from the outside. I complained, “Why put the fan behind the door?” 

I realized that I had an attachment to complaining. The fan had been behind the door for so many days, and it was I who accidentally knocked it over. Why did I complain about others? 

I suddenly realized my sister’s complaining mentality was a mirror that reflected my attachment to complaining. I felt that my heart opened suddenly upon recognizing this. 

Recognizing Attachments

I also realized that we all have various attachments. Some attachments are strong and can be detected, while others are subtle and have become second nature. 

As a result, we should not jump to the conclusion that we don’t have such attachments, thus missing the opportunity to catch them and eliminate them.

I once walked out of the detention center with righteous thoughts, and in doing so I developed an incorrect mentality. As I had passed the life and death test in the detention center, I thought the other smaller attachments in everyday life were not important. 

As a result, I did not pay attention to some small things, such as the attachments manifested in my day-to-day life.

Master said,

“Cultivation practices in temples or in remote mountains and woods completely sever your access to ordinary human society. They force you to lose everyday people’s attachments and deny you any material benefits so that you can lose the attachment to them. A cultivator among everyday people does not follow this path. This person is required to take attachments lightly in this everyday human environment. Of course, this is very difficult. It is also the most crucial aspect of our school of cultivation.” (Lecture Four, Zhuan Falun)

I suddenly understood that cultivation in an evil environment such as jails and detention centers differs from everyday life. Letting go of life and death in persecution does not mean letting go of other attachments. No matter how small an attachment is, it won’t automatically go away if we do not detect, suppress and eliminate it.

For example, I would criticize my family members when they bought good food or clothes. But, my family members disagreed with me. They thought I was going to extremes. Later, I realized that having normal meals or good clothes is normal for my family members, and I should not measure my family members using my personal standards.

Then again, in the detention center, I was not moved or irritated when the evil guard yelled at me for more than 10 hours. However, sometimes I didn’t hold back when I had minor conflicts with my family. 

I was also anxious and impatient at home. I looked inward and realized I became slack at home and did not pay attention to the small things at all. 

Thus when conflicts suddenly arose, I was caught off guard and did not do well. After I realized this, I felt that I improved in cultivation. So, I started practicing tolerance at home and taking a step back when I had conflicts with my family members.

It was like what Master said,

“After passing the shady willow trees, there will be bright flowers and another village ahead!” (Lecture Nine, Zhuan Falun)

When I cultivate myself solidly, there are fewer conflicts in my family, and my family becomes more harmonious.

Chinese version available

Category: Improving Oneself