Discovering “Atheism” in Myself

(Minghui.org) A few days ago, I began to feel uneasy and disturbed. A seemingly normal thing would leave me deeply distressed. I didn't know where this annoyance came from. On the surface, it seemed like I was worried about the negative impact of something I did or the potential safety issue that may arise from it.

Searching deeper, I found the substance of a strong sense of “self,” which was very stubborn and deeply hidden. If it had not been touched by this seemingly accidental event, I would not have found it.　

I was memorizing Master's poem “Making Clear” in Hong Yin V the next morning:

“Making Clear”

We are followers of Dafa

Bringing goodness and blessings

Making the truth known and saving lives

As the world’s morals continue to decline

Modern thought and ways are laced with poison

Atheism now supplants the idea of the Divine

Evolutionism profanes God and man alike

Through song we depict things as they truly are

Dancing with the divine, we help unburden your life

Depart not from tradition, for the course is perilous

The Creator has set foot in the human world

He seeks to awaken and save us on disaster’s eve

Be not a fool, for the whole world awaits Him!

The truth shall take you to Heaven, so waver not”(“Making Clear,” Hong Yin V)

The sentence “Atheism now supplants the idea of the Divine” deeply touched me. I suddenly discovered that there was still this kind of degenerate matter in my field that hadn't been noticed or cleared. Realizing this, I began to have a clear understanding of why I developed the abnormal cultivation state.

Before taking up cultivation, I always felt I was better than others, as if everyone else had to depend on me for protection. I often found this person pitiable and that person struggling. I helped them with sentimentality and my own assumptions without considering their self-esteem. When others did not appreciate my help, I didn't think it through but resented them for ungratefulness and felt heavyhearted. My lack of compassion also caused people around me not to see the beauty of Dafa in me.

I believe such a state of mind was caused by “atheism.” I was too attached to how I felt and failed to consider others' feelings. I was too domineering and overbearing, even when I helped others. I carried the Party culture of showing off and the notion that I was better than others. But if I look at things from a cultivator’s perspective, I should know everyone has his or her own fate. I can be compassionate to them, but I cannot solve their problems. This is the fundamental issue.

We cultivate in Dafa and we should continually rectify ourselves and assimilate to Dafa. Master Li, the founder, arranged everything, including everything in our cultivation. How can I claim any credit for what I have done? When my xinxing is not up to par, I believe there are still remnants of “atheism” in my field, which makes me arrogant and encourages me to place myself above others, without seeing the divine’s arrangement in everything. I want to eliminate it completely and not be affected by it anymore.

This is my understanding on my level. Please kindly point out any shortcomings.

[Editor's note: Views expressed in this article represent the author's own opinions, for which the author is solely responsible. Readers should evaluate the article's merits on their own.]