(Minghui.org) Last night my child asked me if I ever doubted Master Li (Falun Dafa's founder) or Dafa. I told her that my belief in Master and Dafa was gained through cultivation. When I first began practicing I had some doubts. I had poor enlightenment quality at that time. But now I can proudly say that I don’t have any doubts about Master or the Fa

I have practiced Falun Dafa for more than 20 years. Thanks to Master’s protection, I have walked on my cultivation path to today. Even though I haven’t always been diligent, my belief in Master and Dafa has never wavered. I am very thankful to Master for his sacrifice in saving us and the hardships he has borne for us. 

I’d like to share with you how I experienced the boundless power of Dafa and Master’s compassionate protection and passed the tests of sickness karma. 

Negate Illusions

I began watching a TV series in 2016, and I slacked off in my cultivation. I watched TV every day—even when I ate. For about two years I couldn’t study the Fa with a focused mind. The old forces took advantage of my loopholes. Master provided me with many opportunities to rectify myself, but I kept ignoring them. I was arrested and I didn’t know what to do. I didn’t have the courage to ask Master to help me again. I had so many obvious attachments. Under this mentality, I acknowledged the old forces’ persecution and admitted what I had done in order to avoid exposing other practitioners. 

I was detained in the detention center for more than two months. The first sickness karma—depression—hit me. When I got up one morning it felt like something blocked my chest. I felt depressed and pessimistic and I didn’t want to live. But I immediately recognized it and I sent out this thought: “You are not part of me, I don’t want you. I eliminate you!” For the following twelve days, I felt the depression as soon as I got up. I repeated the above sentences immediately and the feeling disappeared.

After a while, second sickness karma came up. It was dizziness. At first, I ignored it but I became vigilant after it happened several times. One inmate said that many inmates felt dizzy because we didn’t eat well. Most were elderly and worked too hard for our age. That afternoon, I suddenly realized that I shouldn’t recognize it as a “normal state” because I am a practitioner. I should be able to eliminate it because I had eliminated depression. However, I had doubts. I sent out one firm thought: “You are not part of me. I don’t want you. You must die.” The dizziness disappeared and never came back after I sent out this thought. 

I had back pain while I was detained for four months. I didn’t pay much attention to it. It was a common phenomenon in the cell because we worked hard and worked overtime every day. One night I was unable to turn in bed because of the pain, I realized that I was in an incorrect state. I sent out the same thought: “You don’t belong to me. I don’t want you. You must die.” My situation greatly improved afterward. I continued sending righteous thoughts, and I completely recovered after a while. 

The above three incidents reinforced my belief in the power of Dafa. 

Looking Within Helps Me Pass Life and Death Test

After I was released from the detention center, my practitioner husband passed away, and I became very emotional. My body bled heavily. I knew it was interference from emotion. But when I sent out the thought: “You don’t belong to me. I don’t want you. You must die,” it didn’t work. I bled more severely. I didn’t let go of my attachment. Instead, I thought: “Dafa can solve any problems. I will practice the exercises more, study the Fa more, and send forth righteous thoughts continuously. I have a lot of ways to get rid of you.” I was confident that my thought demonstrated my complete belief in Dafa. But actually, this thought exposed a big omission: I was going along with my attachment and I couldn’t stop bleeding. 

I was busy at work and had a lot on my mind. I was unable to study the Fa or do the exercises with a focused mind thus I couldn’t calmly look inward. When I sent forth righteous thoughts, I didn’t feel the power. I felt panic. What if I died? I started to let go of emotion to my husband. I knew I needed to let go of my sentimentality. I tried very hard and let it go. But the bleeding didn’t stop. I wrote down a list of my attachments on a piece of paper. The bleeding continued. I knew it became a big problem. 

But where did the problem lie? I couldn’t find it. I sent forth righteous thoughts but this time, I didn’t feel they had any power. I pleaded with Master to give me a hint. I remembered an incident. My daughter once asked me if I ever had disrespect for Master or the Fa. I said “No.” I laughed at her question and I was proud of my firm belief in Master and Dafa. I totally forgot to look within. But now I looked inward. I dug deep and finally found that at the beginning of my cultivation I had one thought of disrespect for Master which I later rectified. Was it possible that I hadn’t completely cleared it out? I sent forth righteous thoughts to clear out all the elements that disrespect Master and the Fa in my dimensional field. 

I found my righteous thoughts had power at that moment. I knew that I found the attachment. I continued sending righteous thoughts for half an hour. The bleeding stopped. I was so happy! I thought I recovered completely so I stopped sending righteous thoughts. The bleeding came back on the third day. I realized I must have other attachments. So I dug deeper and continued sending righteous thoughts. But my righteous thoughts didn’t have power and didn’t help. What went wrong? What if I died of bleeding?

I started to consider going to a hospital. I felt the pain (attachment of fear) and I might incur a lot of medical expenses (attachment to self-interest). In my panic I told my daughter how to arrange my funeral. I even thought of what to say to my parents. My daughter became frightened and wept. Her reaction awakened me. I shouldn’t be so pessimistic and selfish. 

I found that I wanted to avoid trouble, I didn’t want to suffer. So I felt relieved to die! I realized that this thought was not righteous and I negated it firmly. I must stay. If I died, what about the sentient beings I was responsible for? Would they be saved? Wouldn’t my death have a negative effect on my relatives and friends?

I shouldn’t be tricked by the old forces. The thought of dying was an evil thought that the old forces forced on me. I pleaded with Master to give me more time. I knew that Dafa could help me overcome this tribulation. I didn’t need to go to the hospital! Every day people’s methods could not solve my cultivation problem. I asked for two days' leave from work. 

I studied the Fa and practiced the exercises with a peaceful mind. I looked within for attachments. I found the same problem which was disrespect for Master and the Fa. I didn’t cultivate seriously and I didn’t listen to Master. I ignored his hints. Master must have borne a lot of karma for me because I slacked off in cultivation. How disrespectful I was to Master! As soon as I found this attachment, my righteous thoughts instantly had power. Once again I cleared out all the elements that disrespected Master and the Fa from my dimensional field. Within half an hour the bleeding stopped. 

No words could express my gratitude to Master! Looking within is truly a magic tool!

Everything Changes

Even though the bleeding stopped, I was still worried. I began having a dull pain in my left lower abdomen. I put my hand there and said, “Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance.” I enlightened that wherever “Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance” reaches, the sentient beings there will assimilate to the Fa or the evil will be eliminated. I recited the words slowly with a focused mind. I said to those sentient beings: “Master has taught the Fa of the universe. Because I didn’t cultivate well, you haven’t been saved by Dafa. Now I am telling you the universal Dafa, let’s assimilate to the Fa together.” When I attentively said the three sacred words to those sentient beings, my pain disappeared. 

I knew I experienced these tribulations because I didn’t study the Fa or practice the exercises with a focused mind. Many of my attachments remained. So some sentient beings in my body were not assimilated to the Fa. When I directly told them to assimilate to Dafa, I completely recovered. 

On one occasion I felt pain in my left arm. It was so bad that I even had difficulty practicing the exercises. It lasted for over a year. I looked within and sent forth righteous thoughts, but it did not help. I knew I didn’t identify my attachment so my arm became increasingly sore. In the end I was not able to do the exercises. I thought of saying Falun Dafa is Good. I put my right hand on my left shoulder before I went to bed every night and said to those sentient beings: “Let’s assimilate to ‘Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance’. If you don’t know the truth, I am telling you now. If I owe you something, I hope it can be settled now. If this is old force interfere, I will eliminate it right now.” My arm gradually improved every day. If I forgot to recite the words, the pain did not lessen. After a month, my arm recovered completely and I could practice the exercises again. 

One day when I was at home alone, I realized that my notions often interfered with me and I inadvertently harbored the growth of the evil. I focused my mind and slowly recited “Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance” repeatedly for an hour. I felt very comfortable and enveloped by energy. I later realized that my “problem” foot was normal. 

While I was writing this article, I enlightened to the all-encompassing power of Dafa. The Fa can resolve any problems. I’ve summarized the reasons I experienced interference:

1. Laziness. Many of my problems resulted from my laziness. I was not proactive and didn’t solve the problem promptly. The interference expanded.2. Not being vigilant. I didn’t keep my righteous thoughts all the time. My human notions interfered with me constantly.3. Didn’t treat cultivation seriously. I knew that Master did so much to save me and the sentient beings were waiting for me to save them. I didn’t treat cultivation seriously. I apologized to Master and the sentient beings who put so much hope in me. 

Due to my level of cultivation, if anything inappropriate, please kindly point it out. 

Chinese version available

Category: Improving Oneself