(Minghui.org) A fellow practitioner recently pointed out an issue of mine. I did not openly object to what she said, but I also did not take it seriously. I told her it was her personal thoughts and not the Fa. In essence, I did not really accept her comment. I told her that I had my understanding of the Fa and would cultivate accordingly.

The practitioner then pointed out that I did not understand the Fa on the basis of the Fa. I thought, “What is understanding the Fa on the basis of the Fa? My understanding is on the Fa.” I did not understand what she meant.

I did the sitting meditation after returning home, and I realized that I was wrong, and that I should look within for the issue that the fellow practitioner had pointed out. I then looked within at my thoughts, notions, and attachments.

I gradually noted that I had looked within from within a system of self-arranged requirements for myself. Realizing this, my mind became empty. I still did not understand how to “understand the Fa on the basis of the Fa.”

Unexpectedly, when sending righteous thoughts afterward, the character for “me” appeared suddenly before my eyes. At that moment, I noted my strong ego in cultivation: what I want to do and how I want to do it. When I realized this, I saw that I had a rigid understanding of the Fa, based on my notions. I realized that I did not understand the Fa on the basis of the Fa.

I then had a vivid dream that night. I dreamed that one of my family members had pulled my mother out of bed and driven her away. I felt very angry, and hated him. I wanted to kill him. At that moment, I woke up.

I thought, “How could I have such a dream? Why do I hate him so much in my dream? I was so ruthless. In reality, I would not do that. The hatred and cruelty are not me. I am a being created by the Fa. I only assimilate the Fa. Those bad things are not me. I don’t want them. But why did this state appear in my dream?”

When I thought about the dream, I realized that I had resentment towards this family member, and had kept it in my heart without revealing it. Master had given me a hint through the dream, letting me see my attachment.

I then read Master’s teaching. Master said,

“In addition, cultivators in the past did not truly eliminate their attachments. They only suppressed or restrained their bad intentions or thoughts. Only disciples who cultivate in Dafa are truly, completely eliminating all attachments, because only Dafa is able to achieve that.” (Teachings at the Midwestern U.S. Conference)

I enlightened that my tolerance for so many years was actually suppressing the negative substances inwardly without exposing them. I didn’t recognize or get rid of them. So when my self-interest was infringed upon, my demon nature would be revealed.

In this way, the manifestation of principles let me see some of my issues and gain some new understandings in cultivation. I have gained positive understandings of some issues. I also enlightened that my cultivation did not reach the realm of altruism.

I did not fully bear the responsibility and mission of a Dafa practitioner during the Fa-rectification period. I did not reach the requirements of the Fa. I feel that I let Master and sentient beings down. I am determined to set strict requirements for myself so I can live up to Master’s compassionate salvation and not let sentient beings down.

Editor's note: Views expressed in this article represent the author's own opinions, for which the author is solely responsible. Readers should evaluate the article's merits on their own.

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Category: Improving Oneself