How Did I Break Out of Bad Moods?
(Minghui.org) As cultivators, we are to constantly let go of notions, attachments, desires that people hold on to. However, because some emotions, such as being in a bad mood, feel so real and are expressed via attachments and desires, they act on the human body so powerfully. We often can’t separate the emotions from ourselves and we allow them to direct us. I want to share some of my understandings after some thinking and cultivating around this issue.
Dealing with Bad Moods in the Early Stages of My Cultivation
I worried a lot and easily became anxious before I started practicing Falun Dafa. I wasn’t able to completely get rid of that even after years of cultivation. I once thought that my character was just like that and it seemed that I couldn’t do anything about it. I felt helpless. But that was not true in fact. As long as we practice based on the Fa, and as long as we maintain a diligent heart that wants to cultivate, Master will guide us to thoroughly remove all kinds of rotten matter that belongs to humans, but not to our original, true selves.
I only knew that I had to look for attachments in the early stages of my cultivation. When it came to bad moods, I totally went along with them and just thought I was in a bad mood. A practitioner woke me up by saying, “How can a bad mood be a good substance? Didn’t you eliminate it?!” I started to watch out for bad moods. Whenever I felt I was in a bad mood I would expel it, but I expelled it mechanically, because I felt that it was me who was in a bad mood and the feeling was obvious. Because I couldn’t thoroughly separate the bad mood from me, it sometimes took me a long time to get rid of it. Sometimes I felt that the matter from the bad mood was pressing on me like a mountain. I had no strength to resist it and eventually went down with it, and I really thought that I was in a bad mood and fell into a state of depression.
Breaking Through the State of a Bad Mood by Searching Within
We are in a bad mood for various reasons. For example, other practitioners, family members or colleagues say or do things that make us unhappy, or we encounter various kinds of things that ordinary people call trouble. We are in a bad mood because these things go against what we desire. In fact they go against attachments that we should remove. However, it is difficult to think of that at first thought. We are supposed to look inside and get rid of our attachments in such situations. But more often than not, an emotion comes up before we think about looking within, and we feel we are in a “bad mood.” Should we go along with this bad mood, or adjust our mentality and look within to remove the root cause of the bad mood! The answer is self-evident. Eliminating the root of the attachment also enables us to come out of the state of a bad mood.
Thoroughly Understanding the Source of a Bad Mood
I have clearly seen the source of my bad moods from a recent cultivation experience. It deepened my ability to see it separate from myself. Once when I was memorizing the Fa, I suddenly felt a piece of material pressed into my heart. I fell into a bad mood and felt unhappy. I knew that my attachment was behind this bad mood. But when I thought about it carefully, I found that I was not attached to any matter at all for the time being, and I was not tempted in that aspect. Wasn’t I only memorizing the Fa? So where did this bad mood come from? Although I was cultivating with my third eye closed and could not fully see the whole story behind it, this abnormal phenomenon made me think deeply and vigilantly. I was clearly not attached to anything at that moment, so how could I suddenly feel that I was in a bad mood? The feeling was so real and I seemed to be suffering.
“Such is the true state of the human body, with the person merely enjoying those feelings and sensations that come about as a result of the life process: when you are given something sweet, you experience the sweetness; given something bitter, you feel the bitterness; given something spicy, you taste the spiciness; you feel awful when suffering befalls you; and you know joy when you are blessed with happiness.” (“Dafa Disciples Must Study the Fa,” Collected Fa Teachings, Vol. XI)
Master also said,
‘So you are in fact worried, even though superficially you are thinking you’re fine. The old forces will seize on this when they see it—“What’s this?” (Master smiles) Isn’t that how they would respond? Back when they persecuted the followers of Jesus and Shakyamuni, it was on similar grounds, claiming to be “helping them make spiritual progress.” And when they see that you are still somewhat worried about the illness, they will wait until your karma accrues to a certain amount, bundle it up, and then throw it at that spot in your body. To which you might respond by exclaiming, “Oh no, it’s come back!”’ (“Fa Teaching at the 2019 New York Fa Conference, ” Team Yellow Translation)
After studying Master’s Fa teachings, I understood that the so-called “feelings” that our human bodies feel are not from ourselves. In many cases they are actually imposed by other beings. Especially because we are cultivators and if we are not in line with the Fa, the old forces will try to come after us by taking advantage of human attachments that we have not removed.
I understand that evil spirits and other beings can also take advantage of our attachments and notions to control our thoughts or simply throw a piece of matter at us to make us feel as if we are really in a bad mood. This discovery enlightened me and I saw the essence of the “bad moods” more thoroughly.
Although in the past I felt that I could spot some attachments, why was I not able to completely get rid of them after a long time? Because that feeling was so real and I always felt that I was unhappy. When you can’t thoroughly discern between a bad mood and yourself, it means that you reserve a portion of it as yourself, so you feel as if you are suffering. Because if you can’t thoroughly separate it from yourself, it is impossible for you to completely remove it because you treat it as yourself.
I could previously only understand the principle on the surface, but couldn’t believe it on a fundamental level. I now have thoroughly understood that the feeling of a bad mood, and even the physical feeling of heart pain, really comes from a real living being (I now completely believe it). It is waiting for an opportunity to put rotten matter into my mind and even my body (for example, feeling unhappy really causes physical pain in my heart). When I saw it clearly, I locked in on it as a target. I determined that a living being was harming me, so I did not hesitate to aim at it with the magical instrument given by Master to destroy it. I felt that this life had really left my body. Although I can’t see it, I just thought that the life must have died, because I felt that my heart suddenly opened up, and the uncomfortable state disappeared.
This time the bad mood came suddenly and left quickly. But in the past when I didn’t fully see it as being separate from myself, although sometimes I repelled it, I followed this emotion when I felt weak. It can be seen that without thoroughly separating bad mood from ourselves, it is impossible to completely break out of this emotion.
We are constantly exploring and discerning in our cultivation. We keep getting rid of layers of attachments until we become more and more awakened, more and more able to break through the layers of mist and through to the source of life.
The above is my understanding at the current level, please correct me with compassion if there is something not in line with the Fa.