(Minghui.org) Lust and desire have continued to bother me even as I have cultivated Falun Dafa for over 20 years, especially in recent years. They have become major obstacles and are connected to most of my tribulations and interference.
From reading Master Li's teachings, I realized the attachment to lust is driven by emotion. It is a deadly attachment that a cultivator must eliminate.
Master Li Hongzhi (the founder of Falun Dafa) said:
“Dafa disciples: I said long ago that sexual attraction and desire are a fatal roadblock that a cultivator absolutely must overcome. [Those people are] driven by human feelings and emotions way too much. If they can't even pull themselves out of this little thing, then it would seem that back then the old forces should have arranged to put them behind prison walls in Mainland China, as only under those circumstances would they correct the problem, right? I wonder how you'd behave in a brutal environment like that. Are you like this because your life is too comfortable? All those who don't remove that attachment and make excuses for their behavior are fooling themselves and trying to fool others--it's not like I've made any special arrangements for you.” (“Teaching the Fa at the 2004 Western U.S. Fa Conference,” Collected Fa Teachings, Vol. V)
When I was a new practitioner, my heart was pure, and I truly believed in Master and Dafa. It was easy to get rid of attachments and pass the test of lust in my dreams. I was also able to restrain myself in my marriage. When I didn’t hold those thoughts, neither did my husband. Even when he occasionally had the urge, he didn’t feel any pleasure either.
My sexual desire was weak during the first decade of my practice. I was busy at work and with doing the three things afterward. Therefore, I didn’t have time to do the things that regular people enjoyed, and I wasn’t too attached to comfort. I didn’t go to bed until after eleven. Yet I woke up early to do the exercises.
I often got up in the middle of the night to distribute brochures about Dafa in the village. There was no space for lust in my dimension. I noticed my mind was empty and clear when I had no lustful thoughts, and the corresponding demon could not touch me.
After I retired in 2011, I became lax. And as my attachment to comfort crept in, my desires for affection and lust got stronger. Lewd thoughts followed. At first, I had inappropriate dreams, but I didn’t take them seriously, thinking I had gotten rid of the attachment to lust, so they should not affect me.
The demon of lust appeared in my dreams the first five years after my retirement. It was sometimes in the image of my husband or with no image at all. I finally realized I should not allow it to exist.
In August 2019, I decided to memorize the Fa and send forth righteous thoughts to eliminate the demon of lust. I also focused on doing the three things and cultivating myself. This way, no foreign messages or lives could interfere. As I improved in my cultivation, Master took away many bad substances, and the lustful thoughts and desires gradually went away.
During the U.S. election in 2020, I sent righteous thoughts extensively every day. The bad elements fought back and prevented my alarm clock from going off at midnight (to remind me to send righteous thoughts), so I did it before I went to bed. This went on for more than a month. One night, the demon of lust came into my dream and I screamed, “Master, please help me!” It disappeared instantly. I had finally passed the test!
I discovered that lust was connected to the desire for comfort, which appeared when I was not diligent. All kinds of emotions emerged, followed by lust and desire. I had to remain diligent to avoid any interference. Master removed the bad elements when I persevered and improved.
Cultivation is solemn. Why can some practitioners eliminate an attachment in one try, while it takes others many more attempts? It may be due to their different degrees of diligence. Whether I can complete the path that Master arranged for me depends on how diligent I am in fending off the attachments to comfort and lust.
The attachment to comfort is a breeding ground for lust. If I want to eliminate lust, I must let go of the desire for comfort so that I can have a clean cultivation environment. Only then can I keep my dimension free of interference.
This is my current understanding. Please kindly point out anything inappropriate.
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