Young Practitioner: I Became Diligent Again
(Minghui.org) I started practicing Falun Dafa with my parents. One time we went to the park to take a walk and saw a group of people exercising. We were drawn in by the peaceful atmosphere of the exercises, and from then on our family began to cultivate in Dafa.
I went with my parents every evening to the practice site near our home, participating in group study and exercises. I also joined our city association’s youth study group, and once participated in the provincial Fahui. During that time, the youth study group studied together and encouraged each other, with everyone trying to memorize the Fa. I was able to memorize Master Li’s (the founder) On Dafa, Enlightenment, and True Cultivation, and other such writings by Master. We were all able to feel the power of the Fa.
In our practice group, an auntie who had been diagnosed with gastric cancer had recovered after she began practicing the Fa. At one point, I vomited up a lot of a jelly-like, foul-smelling, black substances for a week, I would throw up whatever I ate, but I still felt well mentally. I knew it was Master adjusting my body. Because I had such a good cultivation environment, my study and exercises had a solid foundation.
Firm Belief in Master and Dafa
All of a sudden, on July 20, 1999, the evening news on CCTV aired an absurd, laughable piece of spliced and cobbled-together news, which even I as a child knew was deceitful. My parents refused to renounce their cultivation, and so they lost their pay and were illegally detained.
Most of the practitioners around me went to Beijing to defend Falun Dafa. Some went to Tiananmen Square to shout ‘Falun Dafa is Good’, and then safely returned to their homes; some were not so heavily persecuted themselves, and just wished to try to assist the illegally detained practitioners. Some were put into dark windowless rooms locked from the outside for long periods of time by their superiors at work. Some were persecuted to death in nearby police stations.
In the days when my parents were gone, I largely relied on my grandmother, also a practitioner. I didn’t think much of it but later came to understand that Master was looking after me. My heart believed firmly in Master and the Fa.
Good Fortune Brought About by Practicing Dafa
With the progress of the Fa-rectification, my parents and fellow practitioners came to understand the Fa and cleared out evil with righteous thoughts, and the cultivation environment changed for the better. People around us understood the truth, My parents got their salaries again, and they were placed in some key positions at work. Master unlocked my intelligence and intellect. My academics improved a lot.
After I graduated from university, I was hired by a government agency. The selection process was very competitive, but I was fortunate enough to be on the waiting list, I was hired as the very last candidate. When people heard that I got the position, everyone was surprised. Everyone thought that it would take me a couple of years. I was prepared to try again the next year but was notified that I got the job. Fellow practitioners said that it was good fortune brought about by cultivating in Dafa.
Content with Life and Not Doing What a Dafa Practitioner Should Do
I should have cherished the path arranged by Master, and used all my spare time to do the three things. However, I did not seize the opportunity to do so, but was content with the status quo. Although I studied the Fa occasionally, I tended to forget and studied it only when my mother reminded me, and I rarely did the exercises. I did not do a good job sending righteous thoughts or clarifying the truth of Dafa, either.
Sometimes I felt that I had such a hard time studying and that now that I finally made it somewhere, I could enjoy my life. My human attachments such as self-conceit, selfishness, showing off, jealousy, competitiveness, and lust all surfaced. Although I still considered myself to be a Dafa practitioner, I did not actually work on my attachments, so I fell.
Soon after I got the job, I found what I regarded as a “perfect” man to marry, and did so. One week later, my dream of a happy life was dashed. My husband was hot-tempered. He would lose his temper for no reason, and was verbally and physically abusive. Whenever he was reminded that I practiced Falun Dafa, as did my parents, he would hit me and throw things around.
Before we got married, I tried to clarify the truth to my husband, but he refused to listen and was against my practicing Dafa. I thought, since he was busy with work, I could simply study the Fa and do the exercises at home without him knowing. I could also go back to my parents to live. He was from out of town and his parents could not do anything about me. This was not being serious about my cultivation. Due to the fact that I had not studied the Fa well, I did not have the correct understanding from the Fa’s perspective. So I stopped talking to him about the truth of Falun Dafa, and he pretended it was not there. This was a big omission on my part.
After I had my child, I had no one to help me with child care. My mother-in-law had passed away and they were also poor. I was very resentful. We fought every day. During this time, performance appraisals for professional designations were happening at work. I became very attached to the outcome and felt jealous, and competitive.
I was busy with work and childcare. I had many difficulties and no time to study the Fa with a calm mind. I could only listen to the Fa for half-an-hour before I went to bed, but I fell asleep every time. This had never happened before.
This incorrect situation lasted for more than two years. As a result, my physical health deteriorated. I had pains in my neck and my back. My eyes hurt and my vision was blurry. Once, after I fell asleep while listening to the Fa, I had pains in my heart and I had fevers constantly. I still did not clue in. I was still lost in the pursuit of fame, gain, and sentimentality.
Diligently Cultivating Myself
At that time, I was busy all day long. I did ask myself, when could I spend some time studying the Fa without any distractions? I sometimes felt very lonely and helpless. With my husband’s objections, a complicated work situation, conflicts with other practitioners, coupled with the addiction to computers, TV, and my cellphone, I felt that I had fallen behind.
Although I was such a mess, Master was compassionate and did not give up on me. During the pandemic, my husband had to stay at work and could not come home. My mother and I were together. We read the Fa, and did the exercises every day. I let go of some of my attachments gradually.
Since then, I have been doing the exercises every day. Once, when I was doing the second exercise, I felt the power of Dafa – a warm current came down from the top of my head, passing through my heart. From then on, I no longer had pains in my heart. I can do both the second and the fifth exercise for one hour.
I studied all of Master’s writings along with Zhuan Falun during the pandemic. I would cry as I was reading them. I knew that Master was looking after me when I was still trapped in the pursuit of fame, gain, and sentimentality I was so ashamed of myself. I came to understand that my life was not to be here to fight for my own fame and gain but to fulfill my vows to save more people
What Master is most concerned about is that at present a number of you have become not diligent. When the persecution first began you were full of vigor, and you turned around that entire situation. But as circumstances have eased up, you have instead slackened. Cultivation… There’s a saying, and it’s one I’ve shared with you before: “Cultivate with the heart you once had, and success is certain. (Enthusiastic applause) The reason many people didn’t succeed in their cultivation was because they weren’t able to make it through over the long haul. ” (“Fa Teaching on World Falun Dafa Day”)
“For what was it that your life journeyed through history to this day? For just one, brief moment. In the long river of time, this stretch is really but a moment. Don’t be so passive and down—get going! You are a cultivator. Sentient beings are waiting for you to save them!” (“Fa Teaching on World Falun Dafa Day”)
After studying Master’s lectures, and the experience-sharing articles on the Minghui website, especially those written by those who were in the same situation as I was, but had overcome their tribulations and continued to be diligent, I felt very ashamed. In the past, I didn’t do the three things well. I made up my mind that I would be more diligent.
When my husband came back from work, he felt a tremendous difference in me: I no longer complained to him. I took the initiative to do house chores, took good care of our child, offered my father-in-law gifts of money, and thought from his point of view. When he yelled at me, I told myself, this was helping me improve my xinxing. I no longer fought back. I also hoped that he would see the truth of Dafa in a positive way. He asked me, why did you change? I let him know that it was because I studied the Fa. At first, he was not receptive. As time went by, he saw the changes in my behavior and his attitude changed.
I studied the Fa every day for over an hour, did the exercises, and sent righteous thoughts. I use my lunch hour to study the Fa like other practitioners. I felt the power of Dafa – not only did I not doze off, but I also became very energetic. Recently, I started to copy the Fa, and the more I copied, the more I liked it. Dafa has also bestowed me with wisdom. Once my husband challenged me, you are being paid by the Chinese Communist Party (CCP), and you are practicing Falun Dafa. I blurted out, “many police officers are doing the same.” He kept quiet.
I passed out truth-clarification materials in my spare time. Due to my husband’s attitude in the past, I had not clarified the truth to his relatives and talked to them about quitting the CCP. This time before we set off to visit his family and relatives in his hometown, I sent righteous thoughts first. While my husband was busy with his work, I got to spend some time alone with several of his relatives. I talked to them about the truth of Falun Dafa and helped them quit the CCP. They had a good attitude towards Dafa, which I had not expected. I must have been blocked by my own fear and resentment. I should have done this earlier.
As I continued to study the Fa, the environment at work, and my relationship with my colleagues improved. The understanding of the Fa in my fellow practitioners in my study group also increased. I felt that as a group we did much better while we were sharing our experiences. We encouraged each other and promised each other to be diligent.