Breaking Through Family Restraints, Doing the Three Things Well
(Minghui.org) When I began practicing Falun Dafa in 1998, my family was very supportive. My husband even read Zhuan Falun once through and realized that it was a book that taught people to be good.
I'd have many fellow practitioners over at our house so that we could watch the video recordings of Master Li's (Dafa's founder) lectures together. Without even telling me, my husband went and bought a big speaker to connect to the TV so that everyone could hear Master clearly.
However, after Jiang’s regime began the persecution of Falun Dafa on July 20, 1999, my husband asked me to give up practicing. He is a law enforcement officer beholden to the Chinese Communist Party, and this situation became a conflict of interest for him.
“I know Dafa teaches people to be good. But now the government doesn't let you practice it, so it can't be helped. You can't fight with the government,” he said.
My answer to him was that cultivation is my life; because of that, it would be impossible for me to give up cultivation. He saw how determined I was to keep going, and didn't try to stop me anymore.
Multiple Detentions and Rising Tensions
I was illegally detained for a month in 2000. Since then, my husband began to argue with me and even asked my family members to persuade me not to practice Dafa. They eventually all gave up after I refused to budge.
In 2008, I was illegally detained again. Afterward, I was forced to leave home to avoid further arrests. During this time, my husband was under great pressure. His workplace compelled him to cut ties with me or else be punished.
I returned home after two years to find his attitude changed yet again—he'd take various measures to block me from leaving the house. He didn't let fellow practitioners come to our home. But I had developed the attachment of fear during that time, so I just studied the Fa and did the exercises at home for about two years.
Taking a Stand
I knew that this state was not what Master wanted, but I couldn’t break through. Fellow practitioners also encouraged me not to ruin my progress in cultivation. Thus, I made up my mind to break through these restraints from my family.
First I looked inward and talked to my husband with a sincere heart. I realized that I didn’t care enough about him and the family. I was often out, and didn't consider how they would feel to have me gone. While I was away for these two years, my husband had to take care of everything at home in addition to resisting the pressure from his workplace. It was really a difficult time for him.
“I will take better care of our family from now on,” I said. “But you have to let me get in touch with my fellow practitioners. As you know, it’s my choice to cultivate. No matter how difficult the road is, I will not give up.”
I tried to show him that my thoughts were unshakeable.
Since then, I've steadily cultivated myself. I take care of my husband and the kids to make them feel at home. After my husband saw my changes, he began to relent and allowed fellow practitioners to come over. I could make truth-clarification materials at home without avoiding him.
In the meantime, I took some additional safety measures to put his mind at ease. Bit by bit, I finally broke through the restraints from my family.
During this process, I have learned to look inwards, cultivate myself and give my family members peace of mind so that they can support me in doing the three things.
Stories from Other Practitioners
From some sharing articles on Minghui, I have learned that many fellow practitioners have suffered greatly because they weren't able to overcome the challenge of the home environment. A few fellow practitioners in our local area have had the same issue.
For example, Ming (alias) was a coordinator of one practice site before the persecution began on July 20, 1999. He was very diligent in cultivation; his wife, in that relaxed environment, supported him fully.
But after the persecution started, he gave up practicing Falun Dafa under the pressure from his family and the police. Later on, he realized the seriousness and urgency of cultivation after communicating with fellow practitioners and returned to Dafa cultivation.
To make up for his losses, he quickly chose to divorce his wife—even though she and their son both objected. His parents and siblings couldn’t understand his decision either.
Ming was later arrested. Some fellow practitioners went to visit his mother twice, but they were driven away by his sister.
Ming was illegally sentenced to one year in prison. After he was released, he wrote a solemn statement and his son took away his retirement salary. Now, he seldom has any contact with fellow practitioners.
I sincerely hope he can cultivate himself diligently, look inwards, break through these family restraints and do the three things well.
Ling's (alias) husband loves her very much. In the beginning, her husband was also very supportive of her practice. But after Ling was detained in 2008, he changed his tune.
He shed tears for her and said, “I can't let her suffer in prison. I'm willing to spend money and use my connections to get her out.”
Later, Ling wrote the guarantee statement giving up her cultivation under the pressure of her family. She was released home on probation.
After she returned home, her husband quit his job and followed her around every day. She could only do the exercises at home and couldn’t keep any Dafa materials at home. This state has lasted for several years. Her only chance to meet fellow practitioners and do the three things was when she went to take care of her mother.
Once, when she was meeting with two fellow practitioners at her mother’s home, her husband suddenly showed up. Ling was so scared that she asked the two practitioners to hide away and only let them out after her husband left.
Seeing this, the fellow practitioners suggested that she talk to her husband, resolve the situation and cultivate Dafa with dignity.
“It’s not necessary,” she replied. “He is just worried about me and didn’t delay me from doing the three things. Why should I tell him that much detail? He also mentioned that he would report us to the police if he saw fellow practitioners meeting with me.”
In 2019, Ling’s home was searched by many police officers due to her being implicated. They didn’t find anything and left. Ling later told us about this and we all sent forth righteous thoughts to disintegrate the persecution.
However, we stopped hearing from Ling since then. We all thought that maybe she was just monitored closely by her husband and didn’t think about it further. A few months passed, but there was still no news from Ling. It began to feel like things weren't as simple as we thought.
A fellow practitioner was trying to visit Ling but couldn’t make it due to the facial recognition system installed in Ling’s community. A while later, we went to Ling’s mother’s home and met Ling’s husband there. He was very reluctant to tell us that Ling was illegally sentenced to three years in prison. When we asked for more details, we learned that Ling’s arrest was an order from the secretary of the Political and Legal Committee—to be executed regardless of whether the authorities could find any implicating evidence or not.
Through the above two examples, I realized that it is part of our cultivation to handle our family relations well and resolve these family constraints. Neither Ming’s divorce under pressure or Ling’s escape and tolerance were upright actions, and caused losses for themselves and their family as a result.
What we cultivate is the Great Way at the root of all creation, and what we walk is the path of returning to our truest origin. It's not wrong to be good people and cultivate ourselves, so why do we have to conform to these requests which prevent us from doing the right thing?
Many of our family members do know that Dafa is good, but they still try and keep us from practicing anyway because they're afraid of losing family. It's a sentiment that we can all understand.
But only cultivation can give us both their understanding and our freedom. We have to expand our own capacities and use our home environments to cultivate compassion and tolerance. We should also show our families through our actions that compassion and dignity coexist.
Cultivation is to cultivate our hearts. Master also looks at our hearts. As long as we stay firm in our hearts, our environment will change.
Please point out anything inappropriate.