(Minghui.org) When I slacked off in my cultivation for two years, my attachments grew and I experienced a severe bout of sickness karma.
I had a bleeding problem that got worse around March 6, 2019. I didn’t have a good grasp of the Fa teachings to understand what was going on. The doctor told me that it might be cervical cancer. My heart pounded, but I still somehow managed a smile.
Fortunately, other practitioners helped me recognize my problems, and I managed to correct myself.
Sickness Karma
When the doctor delivered the diagnosis, he suggested that I go to a larger hospital in the city for a second opinion.
My first thought should have been to deny that I had cancer, but I had strayed from the Fa and panicked. My husband consoled me and suggested that he stop working so he could take care of me, but I refused.
Although I had slacked off in cultivation, I never forgot that I was a practitioner. It was just that my main consciousness wasn't strong. Thus, this was likely a wake-up call.
Master said,
“If you, as a student [of Dafa], do not follow Master’s requirements, it is definitely no simple thing. The old forces have arranged for all Dafa disciples a set of their things, so if a Dafa disciple doesn’t follow Master’s requirements, he must be following the old forces’ arrangements.” (“Be Clearheaded,” Essentials for Further Advancement, Vol.III)
I told my husband, “This is an illusion. I am a Dafa disciple, and I’m healthy!” My righteous thought were there, but my mind wasn’t steady.
I didn't dare close my eyes that night, as I was scared of what might happen to me.
The next day, I went to the city hospital for another exam. The doctor who examined me told me to come back in seven days to get the results.
Old Forces Arrangement
In a dream that night, my husband could see that the old forces wanted to destroy us. We both had a strong attachment to sentimentality. We knew that we were too attached to this human notion and wanted to overcome it, but we were reluctant to let it go.
Master said,
“Everything human about this world stems from emotion, from likes to dislikes, from joys to sorrows, love to hate. And so you will have problems in spiritual practice if you don’t manage to free yourself of it. Those who do, will be free of human sentiments and unflappable. In its place will arise compassion, something far more noble.” (The Fourth Talk, Zhuan Falun)
When my husband told me about his dream the next morning, I sent righteous thoughts to eliminate the interference of lust and sentimentality. I continued to recite Master's Fa: “Think that they die, and then they will be eliminated.” (Teaching the Fa at the 2001 Canada Fa Conference)
I stayed home that day, and my husband asked practitioners in the nearby city to help me send righteous thoughts.
On the third day, I went to our apartment in the city so that I could study the Fa with other practitioners. My mind felt calmer while we were reading, but when everyone left, fear started to rush over me again. I quickly sent righteous thought to eliminate them and constantly recited, “Falun Dafa is good.”
I could sense some bad thoughts creeping into my mind, so I made my mind an impregnable fortress that nothing would be able to penetrate. Whatever extraneous thoughts came into my mind would be eliminated. I kept sending this righteous thought and felt that all human notions were being eliminated.
A few more practitioners came to study the Fa with me the next day. All was fine while the practitioners were there, but fear overwhelmed me again when they left. I asked myself, “What is my fear? Am I afraid of death?”
Master said, “Having heard the Dao in the morning, one can die in the evening.” (“Melt Into the Fa,” Essentials for Further Advancement)
I’ve already obtained the Fa, so what do I have to fear?
I recited Maser Li's words,
“I'm Li Hongzhi's disciple, I don't want other arrangements or acknowledge them.” (Explaining the Fa During the 2003 Lantern Festival at the U.S. West Fa Conference)
“With Master and the Way by my side, what is there to fear?” (Fa-Teaching Given at the Conference in Sydney)
All the fear then disappeared.
Our small Fa study group spent a whole afternoon reading Master's lectures on the fifth day. Before everyone left, one of them asked me how I felt. I said I felt great. She smiled and said, “This tribulation is now over.”
On the sixth day, my husband I went to see a practitioner called Lei. I told her about my situation, and she said, “Don't forget that Master is by your side. You must let go of human emotions, then everything will be okay and back to normal.”
After bidding farewell to Lei, my husband went back to our hometown, while I went to our apartment in the city. I did the exercises there and then went to sleep.
I had a dream that night that my daughter, myself, and someone we didn’t know were each holding a large syringe full of liquid. I woke up sweating and thought to myself: “It must be Master helping me to eliminate my karma.”
My husband told me to get the results from the doctor the next morning, but I said, “I’m not sick, so I'm not going.”
I quietly thanked Master for his immense compassion and also thanked Lei and the other practitioners for their great help.
The Incident Was a Good Thing
A strong thought entered my mind: This was a misdiagnosis from start to finish. Its motive was to separate me from Master and Dafa.
Master said,
“Nothing that you encounter is by chance.” (“Fa Teaching Given at the 2010 New York Fa Conference,” Collected Fa Teachings, Vol. XI)
“Whatever it is you encounter--good or bad--it is a good thing.” (Teaching the Fa in San Francisco, 2005)
Through this incident, I was able to get rid of quite a lot of human notions, especially sentimentality for my husband.
There were also three areas that I needed to pay attention to: I didn’t have total respect for Master and the Fa; I didn’t take cultivation seriously, either in my mind or with my behavior; and I had too many human attachments.
I used to feel that when I studied the Fa, there was a barrier that separated me from the Fa and I couldn’t assimilate to it. But now, everything is different.
Master said,
“The Fa can break all attachments, the Fa can destroy all evil, the Fa can shatter all lies, and the Fa can strengthen righteous thoughts.” (“Drive Out Interference,” Essentials for Further Advancement II)
Category: Improving Oneself
