(Minghui.org) I first encountered Falun Dafa through my parents when I was in high school. When I read Zhuan Falun for the first time, I loved it. Dafa opened a new door through which I entered a wonderful world.
It seemed difficult, however, to study the Fa and do the exercises every day like my parents. Dafa requires one to get rid of attachments to fame, financial gain, and sentimentality - but I felt my life was just starting. After I entered college I was attracted to so many things in society. I was busy preparing for a career, and I dated.
When I occasionally read the teachings I always felt great peace and joy. I knew I would never leave Dafa. Even though I did not cultivate diligently, Master Li (the founder) eliminated the bad things from my body. I was happy and I witnessed the blessings Dafa brought my family.
At that time, my understanding of Dafa was very shallow, and I considered it a protective “umbrella”. Dafa can guide people to high moral standards, help them become healthy, and lead them to be better and live happier lives. Years passed before I understood that I mistakenly took the blessings Dafa brings as the reason that one practices. I did not understand cultivation at all.
Finally Entering the Door of True Cultivation
Although I didn't truly understand cultivation, with my parents' encouragement, I didn't stop practicing until I got married.
After I married, I moved out of my parents' home, which meant I left my cultivation environment. I was busy with my new life and my job. I gradually began experiencing health issues.
My husband's family lived with us and they said negative things about Falun Dafa. They forbade me to do the exercises or to send righteous thoughts. They also prevented my child from interacting with my parents since they were afraid they would talk to him about Dafa.
It became difficult to cultivate. I often felt that I was caught in a net, which kept getting tighter and tighter as I struggled to get out. I was exhausted both physically and mentally.
One day, when I was at home alone I started to cry and said, “Master, I still want to cultivate!” I realized I hadn't really cultivated before.
Several days later, something incredible happened. Without any warning, my husband suddenly demanded that we divorce. We went through the painful divorce procedure and his family moved out.
Everything happened so fast. Standing alone in the apartment, I had difficulty comprehending what happened.
Soon after my divorce I was about to be promoted to a higher position at work. However, my workplace announced that the department I worked in was closed down. I was reassigned to a much lower position.
My friends and relatives pitied me. I asked my father why this happened. “Nothing is accidental,” my father said. “Don't you want to cultivate?”
I thought, “Isn't Dafa supposed to bring good health and blessings? So, why did this happen?”
One day I read what Master said,
“My truly cultivating disciples, what I have taught you is the Fa for cultivation of Buddha and Dao. Nonetheless, you pour out your grievances to me over the loss of your worldly interests, rather than feeling upset for being unable to let go of ordinary human attachments. Is this cultivation? Whether you can let go of ordinary human attachments is a fatal test on your way to becoming a truly extraordinary being. Every disciple who truly cultivates must pass it, for it is the dividing line between a cultivator and an everyday person.” (“True Cultivation”, Essentials for Further Advancement)
I suddenly realized that cultivation does not mean seeking a happy life in the human world. As I read more of what Master said my heart became calmer.
Master said,
“It is your own responsibility to cultivate your heart and mind, let go of your desires, attain wisdom, and eliminate confusion. If you take up this path out of some interest, your mind will definitely not be firm and you will definitely forget the fundamentals while living in human society. If you don’t firmly hold to your faith you will gain nothing in this life. No one knows when there will be another chance. It’s very hard! ” (“Determination”, Essentials for Further Advancement)
From the depths of my heart, I always wanted to practice Falun Dafa and truly cultivate. Master never gave up on me.
It's not easy to practice during the Fa-rectification period; the requirements are high. We need to break through the old forces' arrangement while saving sentient beings. The tribulations we face are different from those experienced by cultivators who just do personal cultivation.
Master said,
“In other words, the people of the world have slid down so drastically, and yet you still want to go about cultivation happily? The human sides of Dafa disciples cultivate amidst the realities of human beings, and have human attachments, and only thus can they cultivate. And with this, there will be times when people don’t work together well, and times when human attitudes interfere—this holds true for every one of you. But conversely, isn’t the fact that the world’s people have slid down as far as they have, and the terrible adversity that this brings you, providing you with precise opportunities to cultivate? That is exactly what the old forces are up to, and what they have in mind—they are intentionally changing people for the worse so as to provide Dafa disciples with the conditions to cultivate. But they are destroying the world and its people. ” (“Dafa Disciples Must Study the Fa - Fa Teaching Given at the 2011 Washington DC Metro Area Fa Conference,” Collected Fa Teachings, Vol. XI)
I finally understood. I did not truly cultivate in the past. The old forces used my ex-husband's family to stop me from practicing. Although they provided me with a cultivation opportunity, their attitude towards Dafa was dangerous.
I moved back in with my parents. Every day I studied the Fa and did the exercises. Soon my cultivation status improved. I participated in local truth-clarification projects. At last, I was a real Dafa practitioner during the Fa-rectification period.
One morning, when I was lying in bed, I suddenly felt my body being lifted by a strong force. I nervously closed my eyes. I don't know how high I was lifted. When I finally opened my eyes I saw I was laying on my bed. I knew Master was encouraging me and telling me my level was lifted.
After my tribulations, I understood cultivation is a process of letting human attachments go. It's not about seeking blessings or to live a good life. I met several people who practiced when they were children. After they grew up and entered society, they focused on benefits, just as I had. They knew Dafa is good and they liked Dafa, but they didn't know what it meant to truly cultivate.
Keeping Righteous Thoughts During Tribulations
A few years ago, my father experienced serious sickness karma and he died. I vividly remember that day. My father passed out. My mother and I kept repeating “Falun Dafa is good! Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance is good,” next to his ear. Several minutes later he woke up. I helped him to lay down on the bed. I read Hong Yin to him. He looked at Master's picture, smiled and said, “Thank you Master for your salvation!” Then he recited Master's poem:
“A Great Enlightened One fears no hardshipHaving forged an adamantine willFree of attachment to living or dyingHe walks the path of Fa-rectificationconfident and poised”( “Righteous Thoughts and Righteous Actions”, Hong Yin Vol. II)
After reciting the poem, my father closed his eyes and seemed to fall asleep. He did not wake up.
Although my father did not get through his life-death test, at his last moment, he showed a firm belief in Dafa. He had no regrets. I think it must be the stage of “... “Having heard the Dao in the morning, one can die in the evening.” (“Melt Into the Fa,” Essentials For Further Advancement)
Some disciple asked Master:
“Question: How can we cultivate and form this type of incomparable steadfastness in the Fa?Teacher: ... But the righteous faith of a Dafa disciple is a Godly state. It results from a rational understanding of the truth, it's the Godly state of the side that's been successfully cultivated, and it's definitely not something that external elements can have an effect on. It's not about having a firm belief for the sake of having firm belief, or being steadfast for the sake of being steadfast--you can't achieve it that way. ” (“Teaching and Explaining the Fa at the Metropolitan New York Fa Conference,” Collected Fa Teachings, Vol. III)
My father's passing away was a big test for me but helped me further understand the seriousness of cultivation. At the time, I was satisfied with my smooth cultivation status. It seemed to me that father cultivated very diligently and he had strong righteous thoughts. Why wasn't he able to sidestep the old forces' arrangement?
When I thought about my father I saw that he had many attachments which I felt the old forces took advantage of.
Each time I discussed this with the other practitioners I had negative feelings afterward. Why? I found I had an attachment to our father-daughter relationship. By looking inward more, I saw that I paid too much attention to the old forces. I was afraid of tribulations. Ii seemed that I only looked inward in order to avoid being persecuted. I was seeking Dafa's protection.
Master said,
“Cultivation is hard. It’s hard in that even when a terrible calamity strikes, even when evil madly persecutes, and even when your life is at stake, you still have to be able to steadfastly continue on your path of cultivation without letting anything in human society interfere with the steps you take on your path of cultivation.” (“Path”,Essentials for Further Advancement II)
I knew I needed to eliminate my human attachments and completely deny the old forces' arrangement. Every tribulation is an opportunity to improve in my cultivation. I needed to align with Dafa.
Master said,
“But in reality, what human society takes to be truths are, from the perspective of the cosmos, inversions of truth.” (“The Closer to the End, the More Diligent You Should Be”, The Essentials of Diligent Progress Vol. III)
If we don't change our human concepts, we'll be ordinary human beings and won't be able to go beyond human feelings and sentiments.
When I told a relative about my father's passing, she said, “You should get rid of all human thoughts and attachments. Master has arranged the best for him. Generations and generations in our family will be blessed because he practiced Falun Dafa!” Her words dissolved my negative thoughts and comforted me. I realized that a practitioner must keep righteous thoughts. Only with righteous thoughts one can see the power of Dafa and have no fear. We must believe in Master and the Fa.
I felt big changes after my father left. I found I had a big attachment of depending on others. I grew up in a very nurturing environment and everything was taken care of for me. I relied on my parents for everything. I brought this habit into my cultivation. Master mentioned that the old forces have tried to use this to interfere with practitioners.
“And how confusing does it get here? Here’s an illustration. Some Dafa disciples, along with their families, are very diligent. They look good to others, and some people even try to learn from them. However they go about cultivation, others do the same. But I have said that for cultivators, there are no role models. If you take someone as a model rather than trying to understand the Fa for yourself, it will bring trouble. ” (“Fa Teaching at the 2013 Greater New York Fa Conference”)
My father coordinated many projects. He was well respected by local practitioners who often consulted him. My father helped me catch up on cultivation. When I had tribulations, I usually first asked my father for advice, instead of seeking answers from the Fa. My father also tried to help and protect me out of his human attachment to sentimentality. I often depended on him for the three things. Sometimes he had to remind me to do the exercises or send forth righteous thoughts.
Cultivation is serious. We cannot lean on others' cultivation, not even our parents.
I noticed other young practitioners also had this issue. They also did not cultivate independently and often consulted their parents. Our parents helped us enter the gate of Dafa. But it's up to us to walk our own cultivation path guided by the Fa.
I no longer question why my father suddenly died. Instead, I keep righteous thoughts.
I've practiced Falun Dafa for more than 20 years, and I continue cultivating and improving.
Master said,
“We often talk about “cultivation.” But what does it really mean? Few people really know, in fact. “Cultivation” is the perfection and fulfillment of a being.” (“Teaching the Fa in Washington D.C. in 2018”)
I will follow Master firmly on the path of cultivating Dafa.
