China Fahui | Raising My Xinxing Through Providing Technical Support
(Minghui.org) After decades of cultivating during the Fa-rectification period, I have enlightened that when we face conflicts with others or have confusion in our hearts, searching for solutions within the Fa is the only way to walk a righteous path and upgrade our xinxing and experience the compassion of the Creator.
Breaking Through the Attachment of Fear
I had a lot of fear many years ago. I studied the Fa very little and didn't know how to save people with righteous thoughts and righteous actions. One day, a practitioner named Anna asked me if I could repair a computer for another practitioner. She knew I had a lot of fear and didn't want to expose myself by going to another practitioner's house, so she did all the leg work and brought the computer to me and took the computer back to the practitioner after I fixed it.
Anna and I cooperated like that for many years. I felt that she was like an umbrella that provided me a safe haven to do technical support work.
Anna introduced me to a practitioner named Betty a few years later, when I had more righteous thoughts and less fear. Betty operated a materials production site in her home that provided truth clarifying materials for a large group of practitioners.
I hesitated at first and thought Betty's environment was too dangerous. I decided to work with her after a long and hard internal struggle, only after I understood that I couldn't rely on other practitioners anymore and I had to walk my own path.
Saving More People Is the Sole Standard
Betty had a high standard for making truth-clarification materials. She had strict quality standards from the raw materials, printing, and binding to the cover-sheet production.
I thought she was wasting time on trivial things and imposing her notions on me. I followed her instructions reluctantly at the beginning.
I gradually realized that I had raised my standards to match hers. I came to understand that finely printed materials look better and people are more willing to accept them, although they cost a little more and need more time to produce.
I got in contact with more practitioners who printed truth-clarification materials. When I shared my standards with them, some of them accepted my suggestions, some appeared to accept them and changed their practices in front of me but resumed their old practices after I left, and some directly rejected my suggestions.
I developed an attachment of “wanting others to agree with me” and it took me a long time to realize and eliminate it.
We began to print truth-clarification calendars one year. I observed a fellow practitioner checking a few parameters in the printer properties to make the output more saturated. I thought printing them like that was too different from the original design and expressed my opinion, but the practitioner didn't agree with me.
Both of us were stuck on our own opinions and were in a deadlock. We decided to ask practitioners who were passing out calendars to judge which version was better. The feedback was that ordinary people liked the highly-saturated colors more because the calendars fitted the mood of New Year's celebrations better.
From this matter, I understood that I should respect the opinion of each practitioner. Saving sentient beings is the focus during the Fa-rectification period. How to better save people should be the standard for every project.
Breaking Through Human Notions and Negating the Old Forces' Arrangements
I was detained a few years ago during a mass arrest in our area. I was placed in a detention center, and my mind was filled with thoughts of how to leave the place. However, being there gave me time to look within and analyze my thoughts as to whether they were based on selfishness or any other human notions.
I noticed that I could calmly handle thoughts that had originated from notions and attachments that I had been tested on and eliminated. The challenging notions and desires were the ones that I had not been willing to face or overcome in the past.
I gained insight that these human notions and desires were being utilized by the old forces, and as a practitioner of cultivation I must keep a clear mind and know that these notions and desires were not mine. I calmed down after I recognized that these were not my own thoughts.
I experienced a feeling of having no desires or wants one night. It was the first time in my life that I had experienced this type of feeling. For a period of time, I had no thoughts or desires about escaping the detention center. My mind was completely empty of any thoughts.
The morning of the following day, the cell gate opened and my name was called. I was released. I had reached the standard that the Fa required of me, I thought.
I obtained freedom, but my fear returned. I detained myself in my house.
Elena, another practitioner involved in technical support who operates a materials production site, invited me to her house. I declined her invitation because I did not want to bring her trouble. She insisted and in the end, we met in a dining hall at a shopping center. I was very nervous and scared, but she was very calm and carried a relaxing smile. We talked for hours.
She helped me break my self-detention after two long sharings. I decided to continue the journey that Master Li (Dafa's founder) had arranged for me. With the Fa and Master, I couldn't lie there forever after a fall.
“For a Dafa disciple, cultivation is first priority. That’s because if you fail to cultivate well, you will not be able to accomplish what you are to do.” (“Dafa Disciples Must Study the Fa,” Collected Fa Teachings, Vol. XI)
I began to read Master's teachings systematically. I used to focus on Zhuan Falun and rarely read other teachings. I noticed from Elena's sharing that I didn't quite understand the Fa-rectification. So I read all the books sequentially and looped from the first one to the last.
I enlightened that the old forces could use all kinds of interference, from illegal imprisonment, torture, financial deprivation, family interference, smartphones, TV and more. The purpose is only to shake a practitioner's will to do the three things well.
Being Responsible Without a Big Ego
Many practitioners who operate materials production sites hold technical support practitioners in high regard and show us a lot of respect. However, this can cause technical support practitioners to develop big egos and other human notions.
Though only a small number of practitioners can provide technical support, it is just their way of making a contribution and it doesn't make them higher than other practitioners.
To me, the practitioners who print or distribute the materials, talk to people on the streets, and call people over the phone, are who a technical support practitioner should support and provide services.
After I complete some maintenance or a repair for a practitioner, she or he will thank me. I always say, “Master arranged our predestined relationship. We should all thank Master. You are doing what you vowed to do. It's the same for me.”
Sometimes the practitioner will want to pay me for materials, time and travel. I always decline their offer and say, “I appreciate your consideration. You use your own money to buy the equipment, supplies and transport. This is my project so I ought to pay for my own expenses. If I were in need of money, I would accept it. But my situation is fine.” They won't insist after that.
Thank you Master!Thank you fellow practitioners!