(Minghui.org) From a newborn, to a wobbly toddler learning how to walk, an adolescence, and a grown-up—these stages of a human life perfectly represented what I have experienced in my journey as a Falun Dafa practitioner over the past more than 20 years.
From the excited new practitioner to the steadfast mature cultivator I am now, this journey is filled with growing pains but also joy and achievements. All the ordeals and agony have been turned into blessings by Master Li (Falun Dafa's founder). I can’t say enough about being bathed in Master’s great compassion.
Illness After Childbirth Tribulation
I had the perfect life that was the envy of everyone around me. I was a good looking child, a straight-A student, popular among my classmates, and always the teachers’ favorite. My parents loved me and provided me with everything I ever needed. After graduating from college, I became a teacher and taught Chinese in high school. Soon I met my husband—we married and started a family.
However, the life that I knew changed overnight when I had my daughter. After childbirth, I had a persistent low-grade fever, lower back pain, and weakness in the limbs. The diagnosis of lung and heart problems didn’t seem serious at the time, but they caused a lot of pain and anxiety.
As time passed, my symptoms worsened. In addition, I started to have headaches, shortness of breath, and an irregular heartbeat. I had to take time off from work. I tried many treatments, but no medication or injection helped. My symptoms continued to worsen to the point I couldn’t take it anymore. I was suffering every second of every day. I ended my teaching career and applied for medical retirement.
My husband and other relatives took me to the best hospitals in the country. I went through many exams and tests, trying to get to the root cause of my illness. Soon I was diagnosed with lung cancer which had spread in the left lobe. I also had inflammation of the heart muscle, a fast heart rate, and neurasthenia.
The news came as a shock to everyone. We couldn’t believe it and didn’t want to give up. My family and I traveled even further to other hospitals to get a second opinion. We saw both Chinese and Western doctors and got the same diagnosis. Since there is no special cure, I was sentenced to death by modern medical science.
But I wanted to live and was not quite ready to give up. My husband insisted that I be hospitalized and receive treatments. My medical expenses were huge and soon our savings were drained. Still, I was getting worse by the day. My husband said, “Even if we have to sell all of our things and borrow money, we have to continue treatments.”
But I couldn’t let my family be robbed of a life and all that we had—I could still die after all and leave my family deeply in debt. To reduce the cost, I went home but still received treatments. I took medications and gave myself shots. After a while, my buttocks were as hard as a rock from all the injections. It was so painful that I couldn’t sit or walk. I started to have difficulty taking care of myself. My mother-in-law first came to help but soon discovered one person was not enough and my mother also came.
I ran out of breath and had to rest a few times to finish a sentence. The great amount of pressure in my chest cavity caused a lot of pain. At first the pain was only toward the back of the chest, but gradually it moved toward the center, then the front of my body until the entire chest area was in pain.
The excruciating pain kept me up all night. My low-grade fever became high-grade. I couldn’t even tell when my electric mattress pad was on high setting until my back was scorched. I couldn’t eat or sleep, couldn’t do anything except for lying on my back and cry all day. As I slipped into a depression, my happy family was no more.
Every day, my husband came in to talk to me when he got home from work only to turn around and wipe tears off after a few sentences. I was only in my early 30’s and it was supposed to be the best time of my life.
The Divine Book
Just as I gave up all hope and was merely waiting for my life to end, a miracle happened. I will never forget that day.
It was a day in March after the Lantern Festival in 1997. A friend from college visited and brought me a book. I told her I didn’t feel like reading it—I had difficulty breathing, my chest hurt, I had a headache and felt dizzy—I was just not well enough to read. However, she raved about the book and said it was different from any other books in the history of humankind, and that it was a divine book. I didn’t believe her and was laughing on the inside. But, to be polite, I asked her to leave the book, although I had no intention to read it.
The night fell and all was quiet. While everybody else was sleeping, I lay in bed wide awake. Gripped by pain, I couldn’t get a moment of shuteye. I thought of what my friend had told me and thought of the book. Strange enough, that simple thought brought a warm current down my entire body—I had never felt so comfortable and so peaceful. Without consciously trying, my hand reached for the book. Full of curiosity, I opened the book and started reading.
As if every character in the book was speaking to me, I was absorbed. When I finished the introduction, On Dafa, I couldn’t wait to get to the first lecture,
Master said,
“The entire human society is on the same level. From the perspective of supernormal abilities or of the great enlightened beings, these lives should have been destroyed upon falling to this level. Out of their benevolent compassion, however, the great enlightened beings gave them one more chance and constructed this special environment and unique dimension. All of the lives in this dimension are different from those in other dimensions of the universe. The lives in this dimension cannot see the lives in other dimensions or the truth of the universe. Thus, these human beings are actually lost in a maze. In order to cure their illnesses or eliminate tribulations and karma, these people must cultivate and return to their original, true selves. This is how all the different cultivation schools view it. One should return to one’s original, true self; this is the real purpose of being human. Therefore, once a person wants to cultivate, his or her Buddha-nature is considered to have come forth.” (Lecture One, Zhuan Falun)
“...this field can rectify all abnormal conditions. A human body should not become ill; being ill is an abnormal state. It can rectify this abnormal state.” (Lecture Three, Zhuan Falun)
Is that so? Human beings do not have to have any illnesses? Does that mean I can live? Every character in Zhuan Falun was pounding on my soul and overthrowing every concept of life. I couldn’t put Zhuan Falun down and kept reading. I forgot about the time, and forgot about my illness—I was in a completely different world.
When I heard someone getting up to use the bathroom, I looked at the clock and realized it was already 3 a.m. I didn’t want to disturb others, so I reluctantly closed Zhuan Falun and turned off the light. I lay in bed still wide awake, and my mind was racing with a million thoughts. I was excited and happy without knowing exactly why.
As soon as the first ray of sunlight appeared on the horizon, I grabbed Zhuan Falun and finished reading It. Zhuan Falun put a breath of life in my dying mind and body. I felt recharged and was filled with energy.
Regaining My Health
I couldn’t contain my excitement and joy. I hopped on my bicycle and rode to my friend’s home despite my family’s protest. As soon as she saw me, her eyes lit up, “Have you recovered? That’s awesome!” I returned Zhuan Falun to her, “I read the entire book, and I have recovered. It is incredible.”
She told me, “But there is more. There are five exercises.” I was so happy to hear that. I have practiced other qigong with my father and believed in qigong’s unusual power of healing and keeping fit. I couldn’t wait to learn the exercises. My friend was new herself and didn’t know the exercises well, So, she took me to a veteran practitioner's home. The practitioner was very patient and showed us the movements repeatedly until we learned all of them.
It was dark when I got home. I rode my bike as if someone was pushing me and my entire body was light. I finally knew what it feels like to be healthy.
At around noon the next day, I sat on my bed and leaned on the headboard with my eyes closed to rest. All of a sudden I saw a beautiful round thing of shimmering golden light floating toward me. I was amazed, “What is it?” Then I remembered, “Falun! (law wheel) It is a Falun!” It was extraordinarily beautiful.
The Falun rotated and gleamed beautiful golden light. It came toward me slowly and stopped right in front of me. I opened my eyes wide and was mesmerized—I could see the Taiji and the srivatsa inside the Falun rotating on their own. It was incredible. In a split second, the Falun went into my chest. I was shocked and sat upright. It was unbelievable.
I became even more convinced of the supernormal power of Dafa. The following days, I spent a lot of time doing the exercises and did the five exercises a few times a day. After my daughter went to sleep, and while my husband watched television (TV) in the living room one night, I sat on the bed and meditated. Soon after I sat down, I felt as if my hands disappeared, then my arms were gone, then I couldn’t think of where my legs went. Gradually my entire body was gone except my head. I was scared—my entire body was gone and I couldn’t move. What to do? Then even my head disappeared, only a little bit of consciousness was left. I was aware and could hear the sound of the TV in the living room.
I was obsessed with the exercises, but didn’t put a lot of emphasis into studying the Fa at first. Even then, I recovered from all illnesses and was given a new life. Two months later, I put in a request to return to work.
Elevating My Moral Character
With fellow practitioner’s help, I gradually came to understand the importance of Fa-study. I got a copy of Zhuan Falun and other Dafa books and read them every day. Through studying the Fa repeatedly, I first learned the principles of being a human being, then I was enlightened to the principles of being a cultivator. I also gradually understood how sicknesses came about. Through studying the Fa, I found answers to many questions in life that had baffled me.
After my breakthrough from the level of healing and keeping fit, I started to truly cultivate. I tried to apply the universal principles of Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance in my interactions with others and dealing with things in my daily life. I studied the Fa every day and tried to live up to its standards. Not only did my health improve, but my entire outlook on life was changed.
I used to think of myself first in whatever I did, and was pretty selfish. I changed after I cultivated in Dafa and I always consider others first now. I tried to be kind to others because Master said,
“From now on, whatever you do, you should consider others first, so as to attain the righteous Enlightenment of selflessness and altruism.” (“Non-Omission in Buddha-Nature,” Essentials For Further Advancement)
I truly felt that my body and my mind were continuously purified and elevated in Dafa.
My husband got drunk once and when he got home, he yelled and cursed me for no reason. I remembered what Master said, “...you did not fight back when hit or talk back when cursed at.” (Fa-Teaching Given at the Conference in Sydney)
I decided to maintain my xinxing and did not quarrel with him. No matter how he yelled and cursed, I remained calm and was not moved. Then, he started hitting me. I didn’t react to it which infuriated him, “Why aren’t you hitting me back yet?” His solid fists fell on my face and my head like raindrops and they came down harder and harder until he had to stop and catch his breath. Although I did not hit back or say anything the entire time, I felt very hurt that he was so unreasonable and violent. I asked Master to help me as I climbed into bed.
The moment I lay down, something amazing happened—I felt the Falun rotating. I felt the fast rotation of the Falun in my lower abdomen, and I felt endless appreciation. It was encouragement from Master because I maintained my xinxing.
Since that day, I could feel the rotation of the Falun no matter where I was, especially when I’m calm and still, such as having a meal, sleeping, sitting in front of my desk, and working. I became even more diligent and was always happy to help others.
Spreading the Fa
I joined a local Fa-study group that met every night. Each morning, I rode my bicycle to a practice site to do the exercises with other practitioners before going to work. On the weekends, we organized events to spread the Fa and held sharing conferences.
Immersed in Master’s compassion, I have a great sense of purpose. I spread the good news of Dafa to friends and family, classmates and co-workers, neighbors, and people of my hometown. The number of people practicing Dafa grew each week locally as well as across the country.
To make it convenient for fellow practitioners and myself, after getting the “okay” from my family, I started a Fa-study group at my home and a practice site nearby. We meet each night at my home to study the Fa and each morning, I was almost always the first one to arrive at the practice site with my recorder. Fa-study and the exercises became such an integral part of my life that I did it every day without thinking, as natural and as essential as drinking and eating.
(To be continued)
