Dafa Cultivation Dissolved My Resentment Toward My Father
(Minghui.org) I have practiced Falun Dafa for three years. Over the course of my cultivation, not only has my health improved and my mind purified, but it also dissolved the 20-year long resentment I felt towards my father.
Disaster in My Family
I grew up in the countryside, living in a happy family of four. My mother was a cheery extroverted person, while my father was more of an introvert. I also have a younger sister.
My father used to work in a dyeing factory, and the frequent exposure to toxic dyes affected his mental health. He would have break downs, becoming explosive and abusive, verbally and physically. So, he stopped working.
Whenever my father would have a fit, the expression in his eyes was scary, cold, and fierce. I would deliberately avoid eye contact with him, since any small thing could potentially trigger him. In order to protect my sister and me, my mother would be my father's main target. He would go mad, sometimes dragging her by the hair and banging her head against the wall. Often, my sister and I would fetch our neighbors in an attempt to stop my father.
My mother thought of divorce many times. She would leave home for her mother's house many times. Each time, she eventually came back, since she would become worried about me and my sister.
My mother also tried to commit suicide several times. One day, she drank a bottle filled with pesticide. I quickly ran to my neighbor and asked for help. My mother was lying on the ground, foam coming out of her mouth. Our neighbors gave her some soupy water to drink so she could vomit the pesticide. Soon after, she was taken to the hospital.
My father was taken to a mental hospital for treatment several times. After all family savings went for his treatment, his condition unfortunately did not improve.
Growing up in fear of my father and sympathy for my mother, I became introverted. I hated my father. I hated the fact that I was born into such a family, and I would avoid speaking to him. If for some reason I had to go out with him, I would keep my distance, since I did not want other people to think that I was his son.
The abuse of my mother continued until one day she left our home and divorced him. My mother never returned home again. She worked hard, and regularly sent money to my sister and me so that we could continue our schooling.
My heart was full of fear and hatred toward my father. Because of him, I felt that we could not have a normal family. Sometimes I even wished that he was dead.
Dafa Cultivation Removed My Resentment
After graduating from college, I did not find a good job. Thus I developed depression.
I had dreamed of becoming rich, so I began to borrow money to play stocks. For a period of time I got some money and was proud of myself. But soon, due to the collapse of financial platforms in China, I lost all of my money overnight, including my mother's savings for many years. This added to my bank debt of tens of thousands of yuan.
I ended up in a detention center for over a month, which turned out to be a turning point in my life.
While in the detention center, a Falun Dafa practitioner, who was illegally detained, talked about Dafa to me. I was touched by his sincerity and kindness. I understood: I had come to this world for Dafa.
I began to practice Falun Dafa. After reading the main book of Falun Dafa Zhuan Falun several times, I was no longer depressed. My health improved, as did my character. I became a happy person. My view toward my father changed too. I felt pity for him and wanted to introduce Dafa to him. But since he was not mentally stable, I put it off.
One day, my aunt called me and told me that my father had hematuria. I rushed home. He was thin and weak. I offered to take him to a hospital, but he refused and got angry. In the night, I heard him moan, “I can't bear this pain anymore. Let me die, please!”
I was very worried, so I called my aunt and uncle. When they showed up, they did not want to get involved. First, they knew I owed bank debt and were afraid of me asking them for money. Second, neither of them liked my father. He often went to my aunt and uncle's home and caused trouble for them. I even overheard my aunt say to my uncle, “Why should anyone spend money to treat him? He would make less trouble for others if he was dead!” I felt bad to hear my father's biological sister speak of him like that. I remembered that I used to wish death upon him myself.
My father was taken to a hospital. The diagnosis indicated that he might have accidentally eaten rat poison, preventing blood coagulation. The doctor said my father was lucky to have come to the hospital just in time.
I paid almost all my money for the hospital deposit. After one night’s treatment, my father's kidney pain was reduced. Unfortunately, his bad temper recurred. He cursed a nurse, cursed me, and threw the meal I brought him to the floor.
I thought of Dafa. I told myself not to get upset, so I simply cleaned the floor. Then, I sat next to him and tried to talk with him. I believe he felt me sincerely caring about him, and he gradually calmed down.
I think I spoke to him on that single day more than the past 20 years put together. He did not say anything, but he did keep wiping his eyes. This was the first time I had ever seen my father cry. Later, I understood the reason.
“...if all a person wants is the well-being of others and if this is without the slightest personal motivation or personal understanding, what he says will move the listener to tears. ” (“Clearheadedness”, Essentials for Further Advancement)
The next day, a nurse handed me a bill. All of the deposit had been used up, andthe hospital would not continue treating my father without further payment. I called my aunt and uncle. They hung up on me, saying that they had no money to lend.
I asked Master Li (Falun Dafa's founder) for help. It was amazing, my cell phone rang almost immediately. It was my mother. She had managed to borrow some money from one of her relatives. It covered exactly the cost for the entire hospital treatment. When I brought my fully recovered father home, I thanked Master for his mercy!
Blessed After Knowing the Truth
My father looked to be in good spirits. I bought him new clothes and a new cell phone. A month later, when I saw him again, he was clearly mentally ill: I found the new phone and a bank card I had given him in the trash can.
Suddenly my father ordered that I lock the front door. I closed the door but did not lock it. I saw that familiar cold and fierce look in his eyes. He cursed at me, holding my collar. “I told you to lock the door! I guess you want a beating?”
The old me would have walked out the door and left. But, I remembered the principles of Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance. I felt peace and sunshine around me. I smiled at my father and said, “I will lock the door.” And I did.
My father sat on a stool. His eyes rolled around. I knew that his main soul was not clear at that moment. I remembered how Dafa had cured my depression overnight. I thought Dafa may save my father too,
I sent righteous thoughts. I silently recited “Falun Dafa is good! Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance is good!”
I kept speaking to my father. When he looked to be returning to normal behavior, I started to clarify the truth of Dafa and the evilness of the CCP. He spoke occasionally. When I advised him to withdraw from the CCP organizations. He said that he had never joined any, while I knew he had been a Young Pioneers member when he was in school.
After the incident, every time when I saw my father, I clarified the truth to him. My father was quiet most of the time. I knew he was listening. Sometimes, his eyes would become cold and wild, so I would stop talking and recite “Falun Dafa is good! Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance is good,” silently. His eyes would always warm up.
When I went out with my father, I no longer kept my distance from him. I walked next to him. I asked him to quit the CCP, and he agreed. I was moved.
When I visited my father at the end of 2019, I found him to be in excellent spirits. He had grown a lot of vegetables in the garden. I was shocked. He used to throw away family belongings, and kept destroying the flowers and vegetables growing in the garden. I did not expect that he could plant, much less take care of the garden on his own!
When he saw me, he excitedly showed me what he had planted. He also motioned to an area where he soon planned to grow fruit trees. He even asked about how my life and work went, which did not happen for at least 10 years. The normal father I had known when I was a small child had come back! Our neighbors were also all impressed by my father's dramatic change.
Dafa has truly dissolved my resentment toward my father. My father, as soon as he understood the truth and withdrew from the CCP organization was blessed.