(Minghui.org) One night, as I was watching a TV show with my father, I casually commented that some characters were good at flattery, which caused my father to suddenly become angry and say that I always thought of others with a negative attitude. I felt ashamed. When I looked inward, I found that I really did have this problem. Habitually criticizing others is a mindset that came from growing up in the Communist Party culture.
I recall an incident that occurred recently at work. My computer had no sound since it was installed two years ago. The company’s IT technician told me at that time that my computer did not have a sound card. So, in my heart, I took it for granted that the boss was too stingy to pay for a sound card, and I resented him.
That is, until two years later, when another IT technician came and reconfigured my computer, and the sound worked just fine. I realized that I had mentally wronged the boss for two years. The computer did have an integrated sound card, but it had not been set up properly. Although I was misled by the first IT tech, it was I who doubted others from the beginning.
It is indeed wrong to think badly of others. Fortunately, I did not verbally express my feelings and cause harm to others. But this kind of malice has existed in my mind for a long time. I used to say other negative things in the office, which inadvertently hurt others.
In examining my actions daily, I discovered that there were still many bad thoughts and notions behind them. For example, when the boss publicly praised me or gave me any extra benefits, my first thought was that other colleagues would envy me. So I tried to act as if I did not care about it nor want the benefit, even though my acting that way made my boss feel embarrassed.
That was actually a deceptive behavior, worrying about being isolated or mistreated by colleagues, rather than truly taking fame and fortune lightly. Also, when I thought badly of others, wasn’t it in fact revealing the negative thoughts in my own heart, rather a shortcoming of theirs? Looking at it from the other person’s viewpoint, perhaps it is I who really has the bad notion if I cannot bear to see the goodness in them.
This tendency to criticize is a manifestation of my skepticism. I always suspected that others would hurt me or do something to me. Sometimes when I was out doing things to validate the Fa, suddenly bad thoughts that someone was spying on us came to mind.
A cultivator’s thoughts have energy. If I always have negative thoughts about people and things around me, wouldn't it take on form? This is similar to when ordinary people use drugs or are addicted to their mobile phones, and form a false version of themselves as a result. It is because their attachments are too strong.
If I don’t get rid of these attachments in time, this fake self will become stronger, while my main consciousness will become progressively weaker. It could eventually dominate my body!
I looked within myself to understand why there were such bad thoughts in my mind. I know the reason for cultivation and remember Master’s teachings, but when situations arise, sometimes the first thought that comes out is a negative one.
Master said:
“If you do not change the human logic that you, as an ordinary human, have formed deep in your bones over thousands of years, you will be unable to break away from this superficial human shell and reach Consummation.” (“Cautionary Advice”, Essentials for Further Advancement)
Isn’t this the “human logic that you, as an ordinary human, have formed deep in your bones over thousands of years” that Teacher is warning us about?
It's important to always remind myself to study the Fa, constantly give up my notions, require myself to follow Dafa’s principles, and strive to do well. This is diligent improvement!
Category: Improving Oneself
