Saying Goodbye to Loneliness and Self-Pity

(Minghui.org) I begin to practice Falun Dafa in 1998 and am now 43 years old. Dafa has reshaped me through my 20 years of cultivation,

Feeling Sorry for Myself

My mother was an elementary school teacher and was always busy. My father was a self-taught doctor who traveled around to treat patients. Most of the time, only my mother was home with me and my brother. My father did not care much about the three of us. When he was home, he found fault with my mother and sometimes cursed at or beat her. I longed for his approval.

When I was three years old and my brother was six, my mother was unable to take care of both of us, so I was sent to my grandmother's home in the countryside. There were a lot of people in my grandmother's family. To avoid causing any trouble, I didn't dare to speak up and was always careful to behave myself. I became timid and had no confidence.

I returned to live with my mother again when I was five. However, my parents divorced shortly afterward. My mother and I left and went back to the countryside to my grandmother's. We moved into a small, very basic room. She continued to work as an elementary teacher there.

It was not easy for her to take care of me while she was working. I was sensitive about what I said so as not to cause her any pain. I never told her that I missed my father and my brother. Although she really cared about me, my childhood memories are of loneliness instead of happiness and smiles that a little girl would expect.

Dafa Changed My Life

Time flew by and 19 years passed. My mother and I moved to the city after she retired and we were comfortable. However, I suffered from a health problem that the hospitals couldn't cure. It was then that I began to practice Falun Dafa.

The day I started to learn the exercises, Master [Li Hongzhi] began to cleanse my body, just like it says in Zhuan Falun. I felt nauseous and kept running to the restroom, but nothing ever came up. I realized that Master was cleaning out my body. I was so excited to tell my mother, “Master has started to take care of me! Master is purifying my body! I am cured.” My mother was happy for me, too.

From that moment on, I was determined to practice Falun Dafa all the way to the end as long as I was alive. With this steadfast thought rooted in my heart, I've been able to follow this path of cultivation for 20 years, even though there were ups and downs. I've remained steadfast in following Master and the Fa rectification.

In Teaching the Fa at the Fa Conference in Australia, Master answered a student's question.

“Student: Ever since childhood I have felt self-pity. Is self-pity also an attachment that should be removed?

“Teacher: Correct. Get rid of it, as today you are the luckiest being in the cosmos. You are a Dafa student, and even gods in the heavens envy you. So what’s there for you to feel self-pity about?”

After I read this, I memorized it right away and have never forgotten it. The feeling of self-pity that had accompanied me from childhood dissipated. Yes, I am one of the luckiest and happiest beings in the universe. How can I lose myself in sentimentality over life's fleeting gains and losses!

Happiness or unhappiness, or like or dislike, are human emotions. People are driven by the emotions of love and hate to do irrational things. They unknowingly cause others pain and also hurt themselves.

Sharing My Happiness

When I told my colleagues, classmates, and acquaintances how happy practicing Dafa had made me, they were amazed and acknowledged that Falun Dafa was really good. One of them said, “Your master is truly amazing! Because of his teachings, millions of practitioners remain steadfast in their belief in Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance despite being persecuted.”

Dafa changed me. Instead of feeling sorry for myself and being very quiet, I became cheerful and optimistic. I make my colleagues and classmates laugh and they like me. When they wonder why I look so young, I tell them it is because I practice Falun Dafa. They agree it must be so since I am always happy and nothing bothers me.

Ever since the persecution of Falun Dafa began, the people I know have not believed the propaganda. They all know that Dafa is good.