(Minghui.org) I read Buddhist scriptures when I was young. After I grew up, I read hundreds of books on different topics and remembered much of what was in them. I was told I was “very capable” and was quite content with that praise. After practicing Falun Dafa, I was astounded by the greatness of Dafa. The attachments I had gradually became lighter, but I didn’t give them up fundamentally. My attachment to “ability” was one that I had not completely abandoned.

Before the persecution started, I had already recited Zhuan Falun once. After July 20, 1999, my mind was righteous and everything went smoothly for a period of time due to a solid foundation of Fa study. At that time, everyone was confused about what to do. Master said in Hong Yin,

“The righteous Fa is spreadingTen thousand demons blockingAll sentient beings savedTheir notions changedDecayed matter is removedThe brilliant light shines”
(“New Life,” Hong Yin)

I understood immediately. Weren’t we now being hindered by thousands of demons? To solve this, we must change the notions of sentient beings and improve their minds. If the bad thoughts in their minds were gone, wouldn’t brightness appear? It is enlightened beings who are saving sentient beings. I realized from the bottom of my heart that I have to clarify the truth to people to help them.

At first, because my starting point was pure, and because the pressure in the environment was intense, I didn’t dare to neglect anything and did things according to the Fa. When I encountered conflicts, I looked inward. So there was a period when my mind was broad, and everything seemed clear and resolvable. Things went smoothly all the time, whatever conditions I needed would appear, and I readily opened up any situation.

When things got busy, I started to study the Fa less, and I gradually developed more and more human notions. I always found reasons to excuse myself, such as, “This won’t get done without me; I have to finish these things first; I am a veteran practitioner, even if I study the Fa less, I can do it with my ability,” etc. At that time, fellow practitioners were very dependent on the material sites, and the material sites were very dependent on the coordinator. Those who had greater abilities took on more work and became busier and busier.

At first, I was anxious about studying the Fa less. After that went on for a long time, I told myself that this problem was urgent, but I didn’t really resolve it. As I studied the Fa less, I became a human being who was doing things. All kinds of notions and all kinds of visible and invisible disturbances came up. My inspiration seemed to be blocked, and my mind was sometimes very slow and greatly disturbed. My mind was not as stable as it was at the beginning. Using ordinary skills to solve problems, it seemed that, even I solved one problem after another, more problems just kept coming. I simply got lost in just doing things, and my attachment to my ability and to doing things made me neglect this point. I regarded the difficulties I encountered as obstacles to overcome. I rarely got the hint within it, and I lingered at the same level for a long time.

The more I was attached to doing things, the more the old forces overloaded me and the more people asked for help. There were more things to do. Things seemed to be developing well, but my cultivation state lagged behind more and more, and my situation became more and more dangerous. It was like pushing a very heavy car. I started out pushing the car forward, but later on, I had to drag it forward, and finally became too exhausted to move it at all. In fact, that was when something bad would happen. A person’s intelligence is no obstacle for beings in other dimensions. Even when things seemed to be safe and sound, I still ran into big problems.

Even after running into these problems, I still couldn’t get out of the habit of “doing things” and still didn’t know how to do things well. Under such intense pressure, I became exhausted. So how could I guarantee good Fa study? 

Later on, after I was busy with regular people’s work, I thought that I was wasting so much time on that work, and I wanted to study the Fa and validate Dafa first. As a result, things suddenly changed and were resolved, as if there had been a wall in front of me that suddenly disappeared.

After I experienced this phenomenon (where a change in my thinking led to a change in the situation) several times, I realized that human affairs are illusory arrangements. Studying the Fa well can solve all problems. As long as I study the Fa wholeheartedly and correct myself according to the Fa, the environment will change according to my cultivation.

I started to understand that fellow practitioners who have been studying the Fa well are really great. They are not disturbed by illusions and believe in Dafa and Master completely. In contrast, when I thought about my own problems, I couldn't help but be obsessed with regular human abilities. I took Fa study superficially and became confused by the illusions in human society, showing that I did not completely believe in Dafa.

Our abilities and characteristics are brought from the old universe. Only after being rectified and assimilated to Dafa in this Fa-rectification can they be established in the new universe. Unrectified abilities are meaningless to the future and will only disintegrate with the old forces. If we came to the world just to show off our abilities, we will not achieve anything. It will be like we are doing nothing at all.

Isn’t this how the old forces are interfering in Fa-rectification? Therefore, without studying the Fa and rectifying everything according to the Fa, showing off one's abilities may lead us down the path arranged by the old forces. The attachment to abilities becomes a leash by which the old forces can control you. If we can't let it go, we can't be free of disturbances from the old forces.

I came to see that regular abilities are like a double-edged sword. If we use them according to the Fa, we can do good things that others can't do. If we use them not in accordance with the Fa, we can do damage that others cannot.

In validating Dafa, we should use our abilities without reservation, and we must cultivate our minds to be pure and flawless, so that our abilities can be established in the new universe. The above is my personal experience and understanding of abilities.