Cultivating Myself as I Clarify the Truth and Memorize the Teachings
(Minghui.org) I started to practice Falun Dafa in 1998 and have benefited mentally and physically. It also enabled me to improve my character.
Memorizing the Fa
Several other practitioners and I established a Falun Dafa information production site after the persecution began in 1999. However, since I didn’t cultivate my character and didn’t do the three things other than make truth-clarification materials, someone reported me to the Chinese Communist Party (CCP), and I lost my job, lost my income, and was pressured by my family to stop practicing.
One day, another practitioner told me that Master had long encouraged his disciples to memorize the Fa teachings. I decided to memorize the Fa one paragraph at a time. It took me about six months to memorize Zhuan Falun. After memorizing the book piecemeal, I enlightened to higher levels of the Fa and realized that I hadn't cultivated my character, was always looking outward instead of inward, and blamed other people for my troubles.
While looking inwards, I found that I had the attachments to showing off, competitiveness, jealousy, lust, fame, fear, and trying to prove myself. My righteous thoughts arose, and I decided to write a letter to my company headquarters asking them to give me my position back. When my funds ran low, I made sure there was enough money to run the production site.
Master saw that I had the heart, so he gave me the wisdom to run a business. I could pay the rent for the site. Two years later, my income doubled and the financial difficulties passed.
Two years ago, I realized that, even though I was doing the three things, I felt like I was just completing tasks. Even though I was memorizing the Fa, I wasn’t able to study the Fa like I used to. One day, a practitioner told me to try to memorize not just paragraphs but the entire book. I realized that it was Master telling me that I needed to elevate my level because I had been stuck at the same level for too long. I decided to memorize the Fa, a section at a time. I felt a great improvement in my cultivation and had much more wisdom.
Eliminating the Attachment to Ego
I was cherished as a child. I had good grades in college and was promoted to a management role early in my career. I was used to being a leader and my ego, self-centered attitude, and ideas indoctrinated into me by the Party were deeply ingrained. So when I lost my job, I felt like I had lost everything.
A while ago, I had conflicts with my mother all the time and thought of her as really stubborn. My sister said, “Both of you are very stubborn.” Master tells us that when we see others’ problems, we have to look within ourselves, but I was constantly looking outwards. I found that I had the attachment of competitiveness, selfishness, was always trying to win, and I blamed others for my problems.
I noticed that when I was with my family, I felt like I was better than they, because I thought that many of them had benefited from me and gotten a job or established a family because of me. I realized that I was expecting them to reward me. Wasn’t it my duty to help my own parents or my relatives? I saw that my ego and selfishness were still very strong. After I looked within, my mother’s attitude toward me changed for the better.
My son worked in another city, and I thought that he understood the facts about Falun Dafa because he had seen the Shen Yun show on DVD and quit the CCP. However, I hadn't treated him with compassion or completely explained about the goodness of Falun Dafa to him. He didn’t come home for the Chinese New Year.
I didn’t realize my problem until he said to me, “I don’t want to talk to you because you always draw your own conclusions.” So I wrote him a letter explaining about the persecution of Falun Dafa and the purpose of cultivation, just as I would to any other person. I included a copy of the letter I wrote to my employer. That summer, he came home and finally wanted to listen to me.
“As gods see it, for a cultivator to be right or wrong in the human world is not important in the least, whereas eliminating the attachments that come from human thinking is important, and it is precisely your managing to eliminate those attachments rooted in your human thinking as you cultivate that counts as important.” (“Fa Teaching Given in Manhattan,” Collected Fa Teachings, Vol. X)
I’d always wanted to prove myself right, but that isn’t truly cultivating myself. Realizing this, I was able to deal with problems more compassionately.
Clarifying the Truth about Dafa
I try to clarify the truth to taxi drivers whenever I take a cab. I have a systematic method of explaining to them that usually works. But sometimes, no matter what I say, the taxi driver won't listen. The less patient I am, the more negative the situation becomes. When I looked within, I saw attachments to showing off, competitiveness, saving face, looking down on people, hatred, treating individuals differently, and lacking compassion. Also, I didn’t treat them all equally or try to eliminate the evil controlling them. I realized I needed to be compassionate and more flexible when I talked about Falun Dafa.
When I was explaining the facts to a taxi driver, it seemed like he didn’t want to listen. I felt that he was being controlled by evil elements, so I sent righteous thoughts to eliminate them. Suddenly an idea came to me and I asked him, “Have you seen Journey to the West? Do you know why humans are attracted to demons and monsters.” He didn’t say anything so I continued, “Not all of the demons were ugly, some of them could shape-shift into beautiful women or become anything else.” He eventually agreed to quit the CCP.
I realized when I had righteous thinking and was concerned only about them, I gained the wisdom required to help people quit the CCP. When I hop in a taxi, I send righteous thoughts and figure out where their misunderstandings are.
Last winter when I was talking to a taxi driver whose heater wasn't working, he complained about the CCP. But when I spoke about quitting the CCP, he didn’t seem interested. I talked about karma, the harm the CCP has caused, and facts about Dafa. He eventually agreed to quit the CCP, and his heater suddenly came on! He was really glad and asked for some informational Dafa brochures.
I realized that clarifying the truth is part of cultivating my character and also saving sentient beings.
Strengthening My Main Consciousness and Rejecting the Old Forces’ Plan
I haven’t slept in the same bed as my wife for at least eight years, and my attachment to lust has diminished quite a bit. In my dreams, however, I still sometimes succumb to it, and lustful thoughts sometimes pop into my head. One day, a lady on the bus was staring at me. I wanted to look back at her but realized that was improper, so I closed my eyes to send righteous thoughts. Suddenly, I couldn’t tell if this thought was mine or was strongly attached to me, so I recited Master’s Fa:
“Those who are attached to lust are no different from wicked people. While reciting the scriptures, they even cast furtive glances; they are far from the Dao and are wicked, everyday people.” (“Cultivators’ Avoidances,” Essentials for Further Advancement)
The desire slowly faded. I realized that lust still existed in my microscopic dimension. I had accepted this emotion as normal, and this has formed strong thought karma in me. When I obtained the Fa, I didn’t reject this notion and the old forces forced bad things into my dimension. I was shocked to find myself succumbing to this unacceptable emotion.
Realizing my problem, I decided to eliminate it completely and reject the old forces’ arrangements. When a lustful thought arises, I immediately send righteous thoughts and repeat, “Falun Dafa is good, Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance is good,” and I avoid the Internet in order to purify myself and eliminate lust completely.
“Most people can, however, repel it and deny it by having strong, self-aware thoughts. This indicates that they are savable and can discern right and wrong; it means that their faith is strong. My spiritual bodies will then help them by eliminating a large proportion of their thought karma. What I’ve described is quite common. If it does occur, it is a test to see whether you can conquer the wicked thoughts. Hold your ground and the karma will be dissolved for you.” (The Sixth Talk, Zhuan Falun)
Master has given us the Fa and we must assimilate to the Fa. We have to eliminate our human emotions and attachments.