Some Reflections by a Chinese Student Studying Overseas
(Minghui.org) I feel rather ashamed because even though I’m from Changchun–the hometown of the founder of Falun Dafa–I held a uniformly negative view about Falun Dafa for a long time. The Chinese Communist regime has imposed its propaganda upon us ever since we were children, telling us about how evil the practice was. Such indoctrination does not allow any room for questioning or doubt and was forced upon us everywhere, including through our political textbooks.
I was still very young when the persecution started, so I accepted the government’s propaganda against Falun Gong without asking any questions. Looking back, it felt like my thoughts were chained up by invisible shackles.
I had held certain notions about what Falun Gong was until one day when I had a chat with a friend who was a Falun Gong practitioner. That was the first time I had ever heard the story from a different perspective.
When I first found out that he was a Falun Gong practitioner, I felt afraid. However, this friend is a very nice person, and from his daily conduct, I knew in my heart he was a person worthy of my respect. There was no way someone like him could be evil.
It was with this thought that I calmed myself down and listened to what he was saying. As a keen history fanatic, I don’t normally regard people with different views as enemies. So I shared my views with him calmly while he also presented evidence on his side. In the end, I felt that I could have been wrong about certain things from the very beginning.
But the deeply rooted notions we have aren’t formed in a day, so when we are told that what we take to be true are actually all false–when our worldview, our views on life and values suddenly collapse–the feeling of hopelessness and helplessness is often so overwhelming that someone could easily feel downhearted for a long time or even lose faith in everything.
Having my views challenged was very difficult in the beginning. I started to browse through a lot of books from the links this friend gave me, including the Nine Commentaries on the Communist Party, Marx and Satan, and so on. I also checked out the full texts of the references, including the Book of Revelation.
I was suspicious of everything during this time and spent a lot of time in the library checking references and articles published either in China or overseas. I was trying to find fallacies in my friend's reasoning so that I could feel a bit better about myself.
But in the end, I had to admit begrudgingly that people are no longer what they used to be in ancient times, and that public morality is getting worse and worse. This reality is evidence enough that there is a lack of righteous thoughts in today’s society.
I wondered: if Falun Gong were indeed anti-China as the Communist regime described, then we may as well ask: what is China? For thousands of years, the land of China has experienced many changes of dynasties, and it has seen many kingdoms come and go. How could the national spirit of China, which has lasted thousands of years, be controlled by a political regime? I can say that I’m loyal to China and to the Chinese people, but I cannot be blindly loyal to a political party.
I then started to read articles on the Minghui website upon my friend’s suggestion, but it was very difficult for me as a non-practitioner to understand what they were saying about cultivation. No matter how hard I tried, my heart was still refusing to believe what they said.
Then I tried to start by reading cultivation-related fiction on the internet, but it was even worse. Thankfully, my friend was very understanding and would always unconditionally answer my silly questions. He also comforted me and guided me in the right direction.
I didn’t worry much about my inability to understand the concept of cultivation then, thinking that maybe the time wasn’t right for me yet. With a skeptical mind, I reluctantly agreed to quit the CCP organizations. However, I didn’t really mean it; I merely took an attitude of not offending either side. After all, I quit the CCP with a fake name, and there was nothing to worry about.
One night, I couldn't sleep, so I got up to read the book Zhuan Falun for a while and then browsed the Minghui website. I looked at Mr. Li Hongzhi’s photo carefully and felt in that moment that his eyes seemed to encompass boundless seas and countless stars. I felt that he was looking directly at me and felt a stir in my heart. I didn’t dare to look at photo directly, but I stole glances at it for a long time.
Suddenly, I realized that it was not good enough that I quit the CCP organizations with the help of my friend, and only by truly realizing what is right and what is wrong can I escape the dangerous control of the CCP.
Looking back, my friend had always talked to me about the importance of affinity, and he tried so hard to share that with me so that I could be saved. However, I was indifferent to his kind efforts. No wonder my xinxing never improved.
Now that I have the blessing to learn the truth, I should cherish it so that I can live up to my friend’s painstaking care and the kindness Mr. Li Hongzhi showed me. Even though human beings are in a maze, we still need to search for the truth so that we can all enlighten to the most fundamental principles of the universe.