(Minghui.org) I cannot recall having experienced sickness karma much since I started to practice Falun Dafa. However, I do remember one instance of suffering from it after I was released from prison a few years ago.
Conflict When Taking Care of Elderly Parents
My mother suffered from sickness karma for years and couldn't take care of herself. My father does not practice Falun Dafa and needed some help due to his illnesses. It was difficult to take care of two ill elderly people, so my two sisters and I took turns caring for them. We agreed that each of us would stay a year at our parents' home taking care of them full time, without doing any other job.
All three of us sisters practice Falun Dafa and we have been arrested for our belief several times since the persecution began on July 20, 1999. My younger sister had taken care of our parents much more than anyone else.
When I was released after spending a year in prison, it was my younger sister's turn to care for our parents. I told her to return home and go back to her job as I would take her turn.
One time, after I returned from visiting a practitioner's home, my younger sister was at our parents' house. She was annoyed that I had gone out and left our parents on their own. I got angry and thought that she was being unreasonable, especially since I had taken her turn to care for them.
Since childhood, no one ever forced me to do anything. I did whatever I liked. Now my sister was giving me an order. I said in anger, “You should quit your job and take your turn caring for our parents. I'll be back when it's my turn.”
Looking Within
When I helped my mother to the restroom the next day, I suddenly felt as if my back was broken, and my strength was gone. When I went to the supermarket, I had to support myself with my hand against the wall, and I felt very chilly all over. This continued for two days.
I thought, “If my physical state and health remain like this, won't I be disabled?” I knew that this was happening because of how I conducted myself in the conflict with my younger sister. The old forces took advantage of the loophole and persecuted me.
That night I sat in the lotus position with my hands conjoined and looked within. I let go of all the pretenses and attachments that I had used to defend myself.
Master said:
“In offering salvation to people, there is no condition or consideration for cost, reward, or fame. They are thus far more noble than the heroes of everyday people. They do it completely out of their benevolent compassion.” (Zhuan Falun)
Comparing myself to the Fa, I realized my problem. Wasn't I conditionally putting my sister first? I treat you well, and therefore you should treat me well.
I enjoy being flattered and dislike criticism. Since I offered my younger sister the opportunity to “gain,” I expected her to treat me nicely and think of me as a good sister, since I took her turn to take care of our parents. Wasn't this my attachment to fame?
When things didn't go as I expected, I was resentful. What's the difference between me and an average person? My xinxing didn't go above that of an average person. Isn't sickness karma a state that an average person should have? When my sister said bad things, how I replied to her was even worse.
After I realized this, my body felt like it was surrounded by powerful energy. I felt very wonderful and comfortable. I had only experienced this kind of state during the sitting meditation, and I had not experienced it for some years. I was surprised to realize that apart from the sitting meditation, such a state could also be reached when one unconditionally looks within.
My back was recovering well by the second day and was completely normal on the third day.
Only when we look within and let go of all postnatal notions that cover up or defend our mistakes, can we break through the illusion of “sickness karma,” gradually assimilate to Dafa, and truly cultivate upward.
Category: Improving Oneself
