(Minghui.org) For a long time, I've been struggling over a wrongdoing from my past that I have kept a secret. I noticed this as an attachment and roadblock in my cultivation after getting hints from Master and an article I read on the Minghui website.

After looking within, I feel the need to acknowledge my wrongdoings and my struggle to release the attachment that I've held onto for so long. Along the way, I found that my attachments to saving face and reputation were also very strong.

I had done things that an unmarried practitioner shouldn't do with my girlfriend. This happened in the beginning of my cultivation, when I was still trying to understand what Dafa was about. However, even though I was new to the practice, it's no excuse for my behavior, which I had a sense was wrong.

Throughout my cultivation, this was the number one thing that kept interfering with my state of mind. It also interfered with my trying to do the exercises and study the Fa, as thoughts of my wrongdoing would come back to haunt me.

A couple of years have passed since this happened, and I have changed my ways, but the attachment of fear and shame kept holding me back. I want to eliminate this attachment by being truthful to myself and fellow practitioners and keep striving forward to help Master in the Fa-rectification.

What I learned while writing this article was that looking within is truly crucial if we want to make improvements.

Our cultivation state should be to always look within no matter what. The following words from Master encouraged to me to write this brief article and to share my thoughts with my fellow practitioners:

“Fear can cause one to make mistakes, and fear can cause one to lose a predestined opportunity. Fear is a death trap on a human being's journey toward divinity. You have made huge mistakes because of it already, and yet now that you want to correct them you are afraid of people finding out about them. Cultivation is a serious matter. If you keep harboring fears like this, when are you going to stop being held back by fear? To those students in particular who have been covering up all of these things and have seemingly acted better than most other students, if you don't let go of this attachment, stop your sinful behavior, and get rid of your fears, then no matter how many Dafa disciples' things you do, you are doing them to cover things up. If you let go of these sins that you have been carrying around and suppressing inside and you make your way back, then everything you do will be clean and part of a Dafa disciple's cultivation.

“As your Master, I have never kept account of the wrong things you have done in your cultivation; I remember only the good things you have done and your accomplishments. Dafa disciples have made it through during cultivation and unparalleled evil persecution, so they are deeply aware of the hardships in cultivation, and they won't fail to understand the students who have gone down the wrong path. So I am telling you one more time here: All students who have made these kinds of mistakes [spying], starting now it's best that you publicly state that you are getting rid of that filthy burden and returning to Dafa. Only when you openly reveal everything that you have done wrong will you be able to break free from the secret agents' entanglement and threats. And only when you openly reveal those things will you be able to remove your attachments and fears. Dafa disciples and I will not regard students who have gone down the wrong path in their cultivation the way ordinary people would. Back when I began teaching the Fa in human society, I knew about the various states that would emerge in people's cultivation. During a human being's journey toward divinity, since it is a human being--and not a god--cultivating, he will definitely make mistakes in the process of cultivating, and there will definitely be tests that he doesn't pass well. And of course there are those who make huge mistakes. Once you have recognized your problem, the key question is whether you are determined to get rid of it. Only when you are determined to emerge from it can it be called cultivation, and that is cultivation.

“I hope that the students who have gone down the wrong path won't keep making mistakes. This may be the last time Master teaches the Fa to students like these. Seize your opportunity. Countless gods are watching you, and Dafa disciples and I are looking forward to your return.” (“Pass the Deadly Test” from The Essentials of Diligent Progress VOL. III)

I hope that by talking about my process of releasing my attachments that others may benefit.

Category: Improving Oneself