[Celebrating World Falun Dafa Day] The Story of My Wife and Me
(Minghui.org) I thought I was a lucky man when I married my wife decades ago. She was attractive and came from a well-to-do family. Our married life, however, was anything but “happily ever after.”
I soon discovered that my wife was opinionated and had to win every fight we had. We often refused to talk to each other for days on end. I thought about divorcing her many times but didn’t know what would lie ahead if I indeed became a single man again.
As the war between us dragged on, my health kept deteriorating. Then, one day I came across Falun Dafa and began to see why I had a strained relationship with my wife.
I always wanted to change my wife every time we quarreled, but Falun Dafa taught me to always look within to identify my own shortcomings instead. I realized that I was too narrow-minded and failed to put myself in my wife’s shoes. I made up my mind to follow Dafa principles in my marriage.
Of course, my wife didn’t turn into a saint overnight just because I became a Falun Dafa practitioner. Nevertheless, I reminded myself to focus on my own improvement instead.
As I changed my mindset, I came to see that a lot of conflicts actually arose from extremely trivial things in our life. For instance, my wife would sometimes curse at me and even my deceased mother as she cooked in the kitchen. In the past, I would have pick a fight with her right away, but now I knew to not say a word. When I remained silent, she stopped cursing.
Another thing was that my wife was quite capable of finding faults in me, even when I was trying to help out around the house. She’d get mad if the bathroom tissues ran out and I bought some home, as she considered it a woman's chore. I didn’t talk back, and before I knew it, she no longer nagged me for buying bathroom tissues or other household items.
Once, she refused to lend money to my brother and said something that was very rude. I would have had a big fight with her in the past, but this time I only comforted my brother. After he left, I told my wife, “You’re always a kind person, but what you said today really hurt my brother’s feelings. I understand you were worried he may not pay us back, but at least you could have declined politely.”
To my surprise, she immediately apologized and offered to lend my brother some money.
I discovered that the more I changed myself, the fewer family conflicts I encountered.
There were times when I behaved like a non-practitioner. She’d then complain, “Your practice of Dafa is all in vain! How come your Master has a student like you?” I immediately knew I was wrong and made up my mind to do better next time.
I not only tried my best to avoid fights with my wife but also cared for her in every way I could. I often brought home her favorite snacks and prepared breakfast most mornings. She wasn’t particularly good at making steamed buns but liked to try anyway. Even she herself didn’t want to eat her failed product, but I ate the buns without complaint, as my Master taught us not to waste food.
She said to me, “You’re such an excellent man! Why didn’t I realize this earlier?”
She became very supportive of my practice. Sometimes, she had intended to ask me to do chores but did them herself when she saw I was reading Dafa books.
On our child’s wedding day, I wanted to tell the guests about the goodness of Falun Dafa but worried about being reported to police. My wife said everyone would know what I was referring to if I told people, “Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance is good.” I heeded her advice, and our guests applauded at the end of my remarks.
My wife admitted that she once saw a fortune teller in our early days of marriage and was told that I’d get better once I turned 40. She commented that the fortune teller’s prediction was really accurate.
I corrected her that it was Falun Dafa that turned me into a much better husband and saved our troubled marriage.