Tribulations Due to Resentment

(Minghui.org) This year, our marching band was again invited to participate in the local Saint Patrick's Day parade. During the parade, I was behind practitioner Zhang, who is in his 70’s.

Uncle Zhang is of poor eyesight. He walked slower than the others in parades and even ended up in my line, which was behind his. This created a problem for me. He also had very poor rhythm and hit the bell at the wrong time.

I complained in my mind and worried about what other practitioners would think about me. The more I complained, the slower uncle Z walked, and the worse his rhythm. It stopped me from playing my instrument well.

But today, I looked at him differently. I admired him and held no resentment. He is in his 70s and holds righteous thoughts, which allowed him to finish the parade with me, a young fellow in my 20s. Besides, everyone walked slowly along the parade route, and it was very cold.

Uncle Zhang walked slowly in the beginning, so I asked him in a low voice to walk a little faster. He hit the bell at the wrong time after several songs. I watched my actions and tried to not get in the way of the practitioners behind me. I neither held resentment nor complained. I then found that uncle Zhang began to watch the people in front of him. He walked faster and matched his steps with others in his row. He played the music well after my xinxing improved.

Jealousy Fundamental Cause of Resentment

During the past two months, I heard that some practitioners had passed away in our area, and that some gave up practicing Falun Dafa. Among them, some had held long-term resentment toward the local Falun Dafa association organizer. They badmouthed him and created a problematic situation with the local association. They refused to attend Fa-study and gradually began to have troubled lives. I realized that resentment was the worst attachment and created separation among fellow practitioners.

Master said,

“A wicked person is born of jealousy.Out of selfishness and anger he complains about unfairness towards himself.A benevolent person always has a heart of compassion.With no discontentment or resentment, he takes hardship as joy.An enlightened person has no attachments at all.He quietly observes the people of the world deluded by illusions.”(“Realms” from Essentials For Further Advancement)

Studying this Fa enlightened me that resentment originates from jealousy.

Master said,

“There is this rule: If in the course of cultivation practice jealousy is not given up, one will not attain Right Fruit—absolutely not.” (“Lecture Seven” in Zhuan Falun)

Finally, I understood that resentment creates a big obstacle on one's cultivation path.

Changing Myself is the Key

My resentment also caused problems with my elder sister. I disliked her for not being diligent, and thought that her thoughts were not in line with the Fa. She did not attend Fa-study. I had all kinds of complaints about her. The more I resented her, the worse she became, and the gap between us grew larger. She was mad at me, and her cultivation was lagging behind.

I decided to change that by first keeping quiet instead of criticizing her whenever I disagreed with her. I no longer pointed fingers at others. Other practitioners do not need me to help them in their cultivation. I have to cultivate myself well and use the Fa to change and improve myself. I cannot use the Fa to have others change.

At first, it was very difficult. Her behavior upset me so much that I could not control my facial expressions. Sometimes, I failed to control my mind, and then I argued with her. However, I did not give up in my effort to control myself. Master saw my effort and removed some resentment from me.

My mind improved, and I could understand her better. I could also see her good side. Some days I could suppress my resentment. When she bad-mouthed me, I looked at her and smiled, worrying that she gave me virtue.

Resentment Makes One Look Outward Instead of Inward

A new practitioner joined our marching band. I taught her how to assemble the musical instrument. She unhappily told me that she did not need to be taught how to do that. She said I thought too highly of myself.

Her words were like a breeze, because my resentment had already been removed. I was not bothered and helped her when some parts did not fit, because the instrument could easily be damaged. She was impatient, so I gave her my music textbook and told her to teach herself. I walked over to a corner to look within. Since she said I thought highly of myself, I wondered if I had that attachment. I found that it was indeed the case. Several weeks later, she apologized to me.

Master has told us to look within during many of his lectures. It is difficult to look within if resentment is not removed, because resentment is a human notion that is looking outward. One thinks that other people are wrong, and one would apply all of the Fa’s principles to other practitioners.

Master said,

“Say the coordinator became perfect, he finished his cultivation, but your gaze was always directed outward, instead of going inward cultivating yourself--then would you still be a cultivator? The person you are cultivating is you. If there really is something wrong with the coordinator, then calmly point it out with good intentions. You are all cultivators, and cultivators still have human attachments that they haven't yet removed, human attachments are really vulnerable to getting provoked, and when they are provoked they're apt to play a negative role. So you should be kind and resolve things in a kind way, you should be friendly and cordial, and explain things clearly, out of goodwill. And then things will work out.” (“Teaching the Fa at the Meeting with Asia-Pacific Students”)

Finding the Good in Others

I felt much lighter after I had removed the attachment of resentment. I knew Master had removed the resentment for me. I was very relaxed and felt that the whole world was more beautiful. I could easily find the good in others. When I looked at others with kindness, the strangers in the street smiled at me, and the people I knew enjoyed my company.

When I think of the past, I complained about everything. The more I disliked others, the more bad things happened to me, and the more upset I became. Gradually, it formed a tribulation. I thought it was the old forces persecuting me, but actually it was my resentment that had brought all the troubles.

I found that resentment could interfere with our ability to clarify the truth about Falun Dafa. Compassion and kindness cannot come forth if resentment is present, which makes it impossible to save people.

If we don't have compassion, and instead try to save face, we would not achieve good effects when clarifying the truth and handing out informational materials. People most likely would not accept the information.

I heard a middle-aged practitioner talking on the phone. The person who received the call said some bad words to her. The practitioner was upset and said that person was one who would be weeded out. She clarified the truth with resentment.

Shen Yun DVDs are no longer allowed to be distributed in China, which indicates that some practitioners have a problem with resentment. Let us work together to cast off resentment and save people with compassion.