Eliminating the Attachment of Wanting to Hear Pleasing Things
(Minghui.org) Master told us the following:
“Some people always insist, "My, how come that person always has such an attitude? Why is he like that with everyone?" And there are some people who say, "Well nobody thinks too highly of him." But if you ask me, your master, you're all wrong. When none of you are attached anymore to wanting to hear pleasing things, when none of you are affected when you're insulted, see if he'll still be like that. Exactly because you people have those attachments, there exist factors that hit on your attachments; and exactly because those attachments of yours are stirred up, you get irritated; when all of you have those attachments, the situation where everyone is irritated by the person who hit on their attachments comes about. If you can all keep a calm and steady state of mind while being assaulted by strong words, and you're not at all affected, then see if those factors still exist.” (“Teaching the Fa at the 2004 Chicago Conference,” from Teaching the Fa at the Conference IV )
From this section, I found I still had the attachment of wanting to listen to pleasant things. Because I had not removed this attachment it caused several conflicts between me and a fellow practitioner named Wang (alias).
Conflict About Calendars
I had 70 wire-binding spines to make calendars left over in the middle of January. It was too late to buy new calendar bases. I knew that Wang had several hundred calendar bases, so I took some without asking him first. Another practitioner and I then fixed the bases on 70 Falun Gong calendars. When the calenders were ready to be distributed, Wang came back.
Wang threw the calendars on the floor. I picked them up, but he threw them again. I picked them up for a third time, and he threw them to the ground a third time. I did not argue with him and kept calm because I knew I was a Falun Gong practitioner. Two other practitioners were watching.
When I walked out of Wang’s house, I felt uneasy. “The calendar bases do not belong to you—another practitioner bought them,” I thought. “We made the Dafa calendars to save people and also for validating the Fa. I did not plan to use them in my house.” I had all kinds of other negative thoughts, too.
I thought I was right. I also thought that Wang had not changed his attitude at all. I listed many of his faults in my mind. I also thought, “Why did this happen? What was it for? Was it to remove my anger, my competitiveness or my notion of being afraid to lose face?”
I felt that I had not found the main reason for this conflict, so I felt uneasy.
I told another practitioner that I would not support Wang, because he did not cultivate well. He often lost his temper with others. I even said I could not tell if Wang was an everyday person or a Falun Gong practitioner.
I used to support Wang’s Dafa-validating projects. I could usually find his good points and was able to ignore his shortcomings. But I no longer supported him like before. I let him mind his own business, I thought, and I will mind my own.
I did not realize that my thoughts were not in line with the Fa, and that thinking like that was against Master’s will. Our Fa-validating power was thus weakened. The old forces liked that.
I did not see Wang for half a year. I would not think about him when I passed his house.
Looking for My Attachment
I believed that no matter what kind of incident I had come across through these years of cultivating Falun Gong, even if I did not do well at the time, I had to keep studying the Fa in the right order. I never intended to study a certain passage of the Fa in order to remove a certain notion.
Master advised us in “Lecture in Sydney” about “natural attainment without pursuit.”
Master allowed me to experience the power of the Fa he addressed above.
I read the passage of Master’s Fa that I placed at the top of this sharing article several days later. I realized that I had the attachment of loving to listen to pleasant words. I spent several days removing that attachment.
Fellow practitioner Qiang (alias) invited me to his house one evening to offer him advice on him passing his family tribulation. His tribulation had extended for half a year.
I was the first person to arrive at Qiang’s house. Half-an-hour later, Wang and three other practitioners also arrived. Two of those three practitioners had witnessed my conflict with Wang. I did not know that Wang would come, and he didn't know that I would be there either. Wang and I greeted each other reluctantly.
My heart was pounding and I felt uneasy. I felt like something abnormal was going on with my body. I tried very hard to be calm. The house’s living room was small, so everyone sat on the big bed. Wang and I sat face-to-face. We kept quiet for a while and then talked with other fellow practitioners.
Embarrassment Melts Away
I realized that this was an opportunity for me to improve my xinxing, as arranged by Master. I should not miss this chance. I needed to seize this opportunity to eliminate the gap between us. So I broke through my embarrassment and asked Wang a technical question. Wang answered me in a friendly manner.
Master’s Fa crossed my mind. Master said:
“When certain aspects of ourselves that we have not cultivated well come out, there will be friction, and there will be discord and differences in opinion. Then look to see where the problems lie. Each person should examine himself for the reasons: "Did I do something poorly, and that's what made people disagree with me?" And the other party should do some thinking too: "Was there a problem with the way I brought up the issue, and that's what made people not accept it?" If each person can examine himself, then that is cultivation. If you didn't examine yourself then you have not cultivated, or at least in terms of that one issue.” (“Teaching the Fa at the 2004 International Fa Conference in New York”)
We shared understandings about Qiang’s family problem. Through the sharing, I realized I had been blaming others and that I had become upset with others because I was showing off. I found my problems and I became able to control myself. I felt the atmosphere became calm.
I felt relaxed on my way home. I thanked Master in my mind, and I almost shed tears. I felt guilty about how I had treated Wang from my lack of cultivation. My kindness was lacking and my realm was not that high. When his demon nature had surfaced, I was unable to suppress my own.
I studied Zhuan Falun more and analyzed the deeper meaning of compassion.
Master told us:
“Once you start hating him, aren’t you getting angry? Then you’ve failed to live up to Endurance. We strive to be True, Good, and Endure. And what’s more, your Goodness is nowhere to be found.” (The Fourth Talk, from Zhuan Falun)
In order to be compassionate, we cultivators should first forbear. If two people have a conflict, one side could forbear calmly, and that is one aspect of compassion. After forbearing, one can pass through the tribulation, and one’s realm may have risen. Naturally the demon nature of the other person could be suppressed.
If that demon nature was unable to stir me, then the other practitioner involved would not have lost his temper. If two people have karma between them, and one manages to endure the incident, then the karma may be repaid. Forbearance is in line with the Fa, so the sentient beings on both sides of the conflict can be saved. Cultivating ourselves well is one aspect of how we can save sentient beings.
The above is my understanding at my level. If anything is inappropriate, please point it out for me.