Returning to Cultivation After Being “Transformed”
(Minghui.org) I started practicing Falun Dafa in 1997. Police officers arrested me and my husband in 2001 for our belief.
In exchange for an early release, my sentimentality caused me to turn in my Falun Dafa books voluntarily.
I agreed to be “transformed” at the detention center when they brainwashed me. I was later sentenced to four years' imprisonment. I walked down the evil path at the women’s prison, and I was forced to read books from other religions. As soon as I had the thought that the books made sense, I incurred animal possession.
I began to lose myself. I became suspicious of Dafa and went to the opposite side of the Fa. I was drifting further away, even to the point of helping the evil transform other practitioners. This caused tremendous harm to Dafa and other practitioners.
I also started to persuade myself that I had given up my belief for my family and my children, which was supposedly akin to thinking of others. After I was released, male guards used me to try to talk my husband into being “transformed.” As a result, my husband was subjected to more severe persecution.
It is humiliating and degrading to look back at what I did. I did not have the courage to write it down until today, and now I do so with tremendous regret.
Shortly after I returned home, illness karma returned to my body. My throat began to develop clumps of pus in the shape of rice connected together. My child suffered from a sore throat as well, and no medication that we took helped. Yet, when I saw a doctor, he said I was fine.
At that time, practitioners all stayed away from me, and no one wanted to talk to me. The old forces manipulated everyday people to set traps for me by using my attachments to fame, self-interest, and sentimentality. I felt so desperate that I wanted to committee suicide.
One night before Chinese New Year, I went to sit by the sea. I sat quietly on the shore for about two hours. I knew Dafa prohibits us from committing suicide. In desperation, I looked up at the sky and shouted for Teacher in my heart three times.
It was at this point that things changed, and I returned to Dafa cultivation. The pus came out of my throat, and my child's sore throat healed as well. Teacher didn't give up on me, but rather saved me from going down to hell. He cleansed me with Dafa.
Through studying the Fa and transcribing Dafa books by hand, I came to understand the inner meanings of Dafa cultivation. The Fa principles kept appearing in front of me. I have now finished transcribing Zhuan Falun five times.
In 2006, a material printing center was set up in my home to provide materials for fellow practitioners and myself. Since then, other practitioners and I have tirelessly made and delivered them.
I once bought some paper to print the materials and put the three boxes on my bicycle. It was a hot and humid day. I suddenly felt that I had a hard time breathing, so I quickly got off my bicycle. I couldn't push it forward any more, either.
I quickly began to beg Teacher in my heart for help. This paper was for printing materials that would be used to save sentient beings. How could I possibly leave it here? Miraculously, my mouth began producing saliva, and my breathing returned to normal. I got back on my bicycle and carried on home.
I could feel Teacher's protection in my every step.
My husband and I were arrested again in 2012. Our home was ransacked, and the police confiscated many things. People from the 610 Office ordered a guard to interrogate me. I had no attachments in my heart. I told the guard, “You'll incur karmic retribution if you illegally interrogate me.”
As soon as I said that, his teeth began to hurt. He was in so much pain that he began to yell. I told him to quickly write, “Falun Dafa is good!” After he wrote a full page, his toothache stopped. When the people from the 610 Office saw what he had written, they were at once upset and speechless.
They transferred me from the interrogation room to the reception room. I then began to talk to some young police officers about the persecution. One who was sitting beside me said he was suffering waist pain, so he began to learn the exercises from me. I told the young officers to read Zhuan Falun.
One officer wanted to release me, but he had two conditions: he wanted me to admit that I was ill, and he wanted me to shirk all of my responsibilities to my husband.
I told him that I had been illness-free after practicing Falun Dafa for 15 years. I also asked him to release my husband. I could see that he was struggling internally, since he was controlled by the 610 office and had committed many wrong deeds against his conscience. He said that he couldn't do anything about me. I retorted that since he couldn't do anything about himself, he should leave me alone.
The head of the 610 office pointed at me and began to threaten at me. I stood up and began to shout, “Teacher, please help me!” Six male officers pushed me down to the floor and cuffed my hands behind my back.
That night, my husband and I were taken to a detention center. On the way, I shouted, “Falun Dafa is good!” Some of the police officers also joined in.
Saving Sentient Beings
During the 11 months that I was held in the detention center, I was empowered by Teacher and was able to save more than 30 people. Practitioners had created a decent environment at the center, so I was able to recite the Fa, do the exercises, and send forth righteous thoughts.
On May 13, inmates and I celebrated Teacher's birthday together. They treated me with the only thing they had: instant noodles. These people knew the truth about the goodness of Falun Dafa.
I began to weep, because I missed Teacher and fellow practitioners dearly. I kept reflecting on my xinxing problems and found strong attachments, such as my competitive mentality, resentment, jealousy, and being overly self-confident. These attachments had led me to be taken advantage of by the old forces. Two words kept popping into my mind: “benevolent solutions.”
I told the people who illegally interrogated me, whether they were from the police department, the Procuratorate, or the court, “Please remember that Falun Dafa is good!” They kept quiet after they heard that.
Later, I was illegally brought to trial twice, but each time my case was canceled. A police officer later told me, “For what you believe, I'll throw you in a forced labor camp for a year!”
I was taken to a labor camp. However, the labor camp system was dismantled a short time later. Thus, one month after I had been sent to the labor camp, I returned home.