(Minghui.org) I obtained the Fa in 1998. But after the persecution started, I lost contact with my fellow practitioners. Now on my own, I decided to become an international certified sailor so that I could travel around the world and have a better chance of meeting Master.
After several years in the force, I only managed to sail domestically. I also drifted farther and farther from the Fa – I eventually forgot the verses to the exercises.
I knew that if I continued in this direction, I would lose the chance to return to my original self forever.
I was recalled to my unit as an engineer in 2007, when I finally got a chance to use the Internet. However, due to the Great Firewall, all I got was information slandering Dafa and Master. But I didn't give up. One day in 2009, I found a blog that I was sure belonged to a fellow practitioner. With the blogger's help, I got Freegate, a software which helped me break through government censorship.
Since then, I've rejoined the Fa rectification efforts and have been trying my best to make up for lost time.
A breakthrough under pressure
I read all of Master's writings on Minghui and understood that I have to do the three things well. I made a plan right away.
The first issue was my membership in the Chinese Communist Party. I stopped paying my membership fees and openly announced my withdrawal from the Party.
My unit did not take this news well. All the superiors from the bureau director to office chief talked to me one by one. They threatened to fire me.
Although I was personally well prepared, I was still under huge pressure because of the sheer number of people who would take collateral damage. According Party policy, if any practitioner was found in a unit, the unit director would be passed over for promotions, the unit's achievements would diminish in importance, and the unit's bonuses would be forfeited.
In addition, relatives of the practitioner would be barred from being accepted to good schools, joining the army or going abroad.
My wife was so scared. In order to force me to renounce my beliefs, she threatened to divorce me. Without a choice, I went to the bureau of civil administration to process the divorce with her. I promised her that I would leave all our property to her.
Seeing that I was so steadfast in my faith, she gave up. Since then, she has supported me in my practice.
Improvement through telling people the facts
I spent three years distributing Falun Dafa materials and video disks with anti-censorship software to every family in my local district. Now I go to other districts. My xinxing has greatly improved during the process.
At the beginning, I was kind of scared. A couple of times, the residents opened their doors right after I hung the materials on the knob. I ran away before they could see me.
However, as my righteous thoughts got stronger and stronger, I became less afraid of the residents. I was able to directly hand the residents the materials if they opened their doors.
Once I discovered that a young man had been tailing me. After I noticed him, I went up to him to tell him what I was doing, so that I could save him. But he ran away.
Another time I went to a building with four units, each with a locked gate. There were several kids playing outside. I went to the first unit, and they opened the gate for me.
After I went through each apartment of the unit and came back to the first floor, they opened the second unit's gate. They opened all of the gates for me until I was done with the fourth unit.
This reminded me of when Master said,
“Everything has been prepared, and all that’s missing is for you to carry it out. Yet you won’t take that step.” (Dafa Disciples Must Study the Fa - Fa Teaching Given at the 2011 Washington DC Metro Area Fa Conference)
I also tell people the facts about Dafa by making phone calls. Recently I started working on sending text messages. I have collected the cell phone numbers of over three hundred government officials, but the effect was not good at the beginning. I got many hostile replies.
I looked inward and found many attachments. I slowed down and used more personal messages in order to make my texts more effective.
Overcoming loneliness
On my cultivation path, I had been very lonely. I did not know any fellow practitioners at all, and I didn't have anyone to share experiences with.
My attachment to comfort was the biggest issue. When I was making materials, I played cards. I couldn't get up early in the morning to do the exercises, and I often made excuses to skip Fa-study.
When I would slack off, I encountered more difficulties and temptations. Sometimes people would curse at me when I persuaded them to quit from CCP. I was easily depressed.
Master said,
“Rather, to quietly cultivate in bleak loneliness, unable to see hope, is the hardest of all. Doing any form of cultivation entails undergoing a trial such as this and a path with such features. Only if one can persevere and continually forge ahead does it amount to true diligence.”(Fa Teaching at the 2009 Greater New York International Fa Conference)
I realized that no matter how much I have already done or how many more things I have yet to do, the most important thing is whether I could persevere and continually forge ahead.
While I was preparing this article, I finally met a fellow practitioner.
One day on my way to computer store, I stopped by a hair salon. The owner had a little girl who was acting up. She reprimanded her daughter while cutting my hair.
“Always look inward and inspect yourself for shortcomings when encountering problems,” said the owner.
“Look within yourself,” I added.
She continued, “For a cultivator, looking within is a magical tool.”(Fa Teaching at the 2009 Washington DC International Fa Conference)
I was sure she was a fellow practitioner.
I was not alone any more. We helped each other. When I knew that she wanted to read Dafa books published earlier, I immediately printed out those books for her.
With this start, I can finally rejoin other practitioners and continue forward on the path of cultivation.
Category: Improving Oneself
