(Minghui.org) In June 2013, I was arrested by the 610 Office and taken to a brainwashing center. I was given a fixed time for dinner, for washing, and for the so-called “class.” In my free time, I memorized the Fa, sent forth righteous thoughts, and looked inward.
My first “class” was conducted by an elderly man. He said he used to practice Falun Gong. I hoped my compassion would wake him up. Our conversation was “friendly.” During the brainwashing “class” he occasionally used some words that were not from Zhuan Falun, but he insisted they were. I resisted what he said. I tried my best to control my emotions and was neither aggressive nor conciliatory towards him. Later he told me, “You still keep smiling. I shall learn from you. I couldn't do it.”
After he was unsuccessful in convincing me to quit practicing Falun Gong, a second person showed up. He also attempted to mislead me. He asked, “Your Master said this Fa is enormous – how enormous is it? Tell me.” I said, “Falun Dafa IS enormous! But it is not for me to say! If I tried to describe it, I would be committing a crime!” He said, “You are a true practitioner!” Then he left.
I understood that we indeed will be tested to see if we have truly cultivated ourselves. I noticed that those who came to “educate” me had been practitioners in the past. Some of them had even memorized paragraphs from Master's latest lectures. That could be how they can confuse some practitioners. But as long as we keep Master's Fa in mind, it is easy to see through their lies.
When the first man and I were having a conversation, the second one came in. After saying a few words, he stared into my eyes without blinking. I wasn't frightened and directly looked into his eyes. After a while, he said, “You are very compassionate!” I sat there smiling and said nothing. From beginning to end, I told myself to maintain a compassionate state of mind, trying my best to awaken his knowing side.
One day an officer in charge of watching me told me that my mother had prepared a profile of a “patient with a history of mental problems” for me, and if I made a little concession, they would let her take me home. My heart wasn't moved, and I held a single thought: "I don't have a mental problem! Why should I say I do? I don't want to do that to get out of here." The officer shouted at me. He used my mother as an excuse to blame me and threw the patient files on the floor. I thought about what my mother had done for me and about the mistake she made, and I cried. I knew I hadn't completely let go of qing and should have felt for her what I did for other sentient beings – compassion for a person's life. However, I still firmly maintained my righteous thoughts!
My mother came to see me at the brainwashing center, and I could see the worry in her face. She didn't try to force me to give up my faith, but she wanted my feelings for her to move my heart. I knew I couldn't be affected by my family members. I understood her situation, how she has worried about me over the past years. I didn't want to seem unfeeling and aggravate her. She was also a being to be saved. I was very kind as I comforted her, but I didn't budge and she left.
The next day, a person in charge said the city officers wanted to see me. I thought, as a Dafa disciple, I would use my compassionate side to face them. They talked with me for a while then left.
At mid-day, it was time for lunch but no food was provided. I didn't know what tactics they would use. I thought: “Cutting off my food? Making me compromise by starving me? I had staged a hunger strike for one month in the past. So I am an experienced person, and I have already encountered starvation and being thirsty in my life. The petty tactic is too little in front of a Dafa cultivator.”
A manager showed up and talked to me. Then my mother came in and I was told that all of the practitioner had been "transformed" except for me. The manager finally said, “Freedom of belief!” Then my mom took me home.
I want to say that when I felt the most helpless, I told myself: “Leave it to Master; Master decides my cultivation path!” When this thought arose, I calmed down and felt relaxed. I knew that my thoughts were righteous. I thought that after I got out of the brainwashing center, I must tell other practitioners: Cultivation is very simple. If we maintain the righteous thought of believing in Master, that is enough!
I wondered if it was caused by my karma; what would happen if I was persecuted? I started thinking about this. Suddenly, I recalled Master's Fa:“A Dafa disciple completely opposes everything arranged by the evil old forces.” (“Dafa is Indestructible” in Essentials for Further Advancement II)
I realized that all arrests and tortures were arranged by the old forces, and we should completely oppose it. So no matter who talked to me, I held one thought – I would go home.
Another insight I gained is that no matter what environment and regardless of who we are facing, including a person with evil intent, we must always maintain our compassion. When I faced the two men who tried to “educate” me, I remained reasonable and kind.
I understand that everyone comes for the Fa. Regardless of why they are against Dafa, it is their loss. Even if there is little hope for them to understand, I shouldn't give up. Master said: “Compassion is the Divine's eternal state” (“Why Do You Reject It?” in Hong Yin Vol. III)
When the manager came to tell me that he had sent many practitioners to prison, my heart wasn't moved. I told him, “You are in a very dangerous situation!” I understood that he had read Dafa books, so it is impossible that nothing touched his heart.
One night, about 10:00 p.m., after the others had fallen asleep, I was thinking about doing the fifth exercise. While I was hesitating, I heard a “pop,” and my watch strap opened. Normally, I had to press the button to open the band, and I usually take it off to do the exercises. But, at that moment, it opened by itself. It was a hint: “Master wants me to do exercises!”
As I write this, I am full of regret! Even for this basic issue I needed to rely on Master's care. I only focused on cultivation; I didn't pay attention to doing the exercises; is that cultivation? Cultivating without practicing doesn't make a cultivator.
I wrote out the above experiences to encourage myself to follow the high standards and requirements of Dafa cultivation, to be a qualified Dafa disciple in the Fa-rectification period.
