(Minghui.org) On the path of cultivation, every practitioner has many experiences to share. I would like to share some of my experiences with fellow practitioners.
A Terrible Price for One Wrong Thought
In the fall of 2006, because I did not study the Fa much, and wasn't disciplined in following the requirements of Dafa. I treated many incidents inside and outside my family as would a non-practitioner. I became less diligent in my cultivation and deviated from the power of the Fa. At the same time I was in charge of important Dafa projects. Because I did not recognize the seriousness of cultivation, it became a loophole for the evil, leading to persecution.
On the night after I was taken to the police station, I sent forth righteous thoughts, asking Master to arrange an opportunity for me to escape. I could not let the evil forces persecute me like this, because many sentient beings were waiting for me. While Master arranged such an opportunity, however, I had an incorrect thought, that I would rather die or get injured than be taken away by the evil. I jumped down from the second floor. But when I tried to stand up, I realized that I could not move at all. I suddenly realized that I had a wrong thought just a moment prior. Wasn't I actually pursuing death or injury? How could I clarify the truth to people like this? How could people understand this? How could I face my own interference with the careful arrangements Master made? Didn't I defame Dafa? Looking into the sky, I could not hold back my tears as I was filled with regret.
The police didn't find me until 20 minutes later. They took me to a hospital for X-rays. They found that both of my feet were fractured, my hips were dislocated, and there was no feeling in my lower body. Using their words, I would be disabled for the rest of my life. The doctor placed a steel plate in my hip, and told me to see him again in one year, to take it out. They said they would use steel rods to support my feet in the future and they could not promise if I would be able to walk. My family was devastated, but I was not moved at all. I knew that as a disciple of Master, I could not have any wrong thoughts again. I knew that I must think like a Dafa practitioner. At that time it was like listening to someone else's story, as if they were not talking about me.
Three days later, I asked to go home. I told my family that the hospital was not the place for me to stay and I wanted to go home as soon as possible.
With the help of fellow practitioners, I melded into the group of practitioners again. Every day I studied 70 -100 pages of Zhuan Falun, listened to Master's lectures, and learned Dafa songs. I did the exercises every day, however I had to lay on a bed to do them, as well as to study the Fa and send forth righteous thoughts. After one week, my legs started to regain feeling. After a few more days, I was able to move them a bit. I later felt my legs improving every day.
After two months, one night at around 11:00 p.m., when everyone else was asleep, I tried very hard to turn my body to lay on my stomach. Suddenly I felt a hand pressing on my back forcefully. It was so painful that I could not help crying out. My family woke up. I calmed down and immediately realized that Master was adjusting my body. Since then I have been able to sit up. I sat to do the exercises and send forth righteous thoughts. My physical health started to improve day by day. A friend said while visiting me, “What will you do in the future in such poor condition if you don't go to the hospital?” I told her not to worry since my condition would recover to its original state. When I advised them to quit the CCP, they said, “We will wait until you can walk to quit the CCP. We want to see how your Master takes care of you.” One year later they indeed came back and brought three more people. All of them were CCP officials. They witnessed my miraculous recovery. This time they were willing to quit, and some of them even wanted to learn the exercises.
Chinese New Year's Eve was a day that I will never forget. I had the thought, “Today is the 120th day of being in bed, and I am determined to make it the last day, since I want to kneel on the ground to burn a bundle of incense for Master.” I told my daughter to arrange stools for me. I held the stools and walked. The first time I stepped on the ground, it was like ten thousand needles punching into my bones. All my weight was supported by my arms. I could barely stand with the support of my hips and feet. I clenched my teeth and moved step by step to the front of Master's picture. I said to Master, “I am sorry Master, I failed you. I damaged the image of Dafa. From now on, I will validate Dafa with my body, and recover the loss that I caused. Please strengthen me. Today is the eve of the Chinese New Year. I will stand up and burn a bundle of incense for Master, and I will kowtow to Master with both of my hands three times.” Then with all my strength I stood up. At that moment, I was so excited that I burst into tears. I held both hands above my head, and said to Master in tears, “Thank you Master! Thank you Master! From now on, I will no longer bring trouble to my family. I will establish a good image for Dafa practitioners.”
It was easy to say, but how was I to go about establishing a good image for a Dafa practitioner? The key is not to have a single doubt about Master and Dafa, and ignore the human notions from non-practitioners. For example, “You should rest to recover, don't stand up too early...,” etc. Thus I was determined to dedicate myself to Master. Of course, during this process, I became more diligent in Fa study and self cultivation. Only by truly cultivating myself, can Master take care of me as a true practitioner.
My daughter once said something rude to me. At that time I was not yet even able to move on the bed. I felt so upset that I cried. At that moment my son-in-law asked me, “Mom, let me ask you, did you ever regret taking this path?” I was shocked by the question, then I replied immediately, “I do not regret it!” “If you don't regret it, then why do you cry?” Yes, why did I cry? Why did he ask this question? Wasn't Master using his words to give me a hint? I was suddenly enlightened, like spotting sunshine in the dark night. I smiled and wiped away the tears. I said to him sincerely, “Thank you! Thank you for reminding me.” Because I am the most fortunate life in the universe! Suddenly all the sadness was gone.
I am now almost 60 years old, but I can do all kinds of housework. Of course I know that my body was not given for doing housework, but for helping Master to save sentient beings. I have frequently experienced that if I don't study the Fa enough, or if one of the three things isn't done well, it reflects on my physical health. Practitioners, please note how an incorrect thought of mine brought tremendous loss, and saved too few people. The amount that Master suffered for me is beyond our imagination.
Using My Specialty to Save People
Master said,
“You are Gods, and you are the future rulers of different cosmoses, so who would you count on? All the beings are counting on you! ” ("Teaching the Fa at the 2002 Fa Conference in Philadelphia, U.S.A.")
Honestly speaking, every time I thought about this paragraph of Fa, I felt guilty, because I didn't do well in saving people. Since I have the ability to clarify the truth, why not try my best? Sometimes on my way to do business, I have saved eight or ten people. Other times I had bad thoughts, due to my human notions, “As long as I try a little bit, I should be able to save more people than other practitioners.” Should a cultivator think this way? I expose this today, so that I can face it and improve myself.
As a practitioner, it is no coincidence no matter what kind of specialty you have. They are all for you to validate the Fa and save sentient beings. For example, since I am good at singing, I sing Dafa songs to save people.
A friend once traveled a long distance to visit me with some of her colleagues. At lunch time, I clarified the truth to them. Some of them did not understand. An old friend said, “Let's not talk about this. We have not heard you sing for a long time, please sing a song for us.” I said, "Sure. I will sing a song from Dafa, called 'In the Unforgettable Moment.'" After I sang the song, I burst into tears since I completely devoted myself to the lyrics. From the beginning to the end, my friends did not smoke any cigarettes nor say a single word. They were all immersed in the lyrics for the entire time. One friend, who was a bit older than the others, said to my husband, “From now on, don't stop her. I can tell that she is working on something very important.” Then she turned to me and said, “We are all in a very dangerous situation, you must save us!” I said, “I was clarifying the truth to you, which is to save you.” Thus the song answered their questions, and they all quit the CCP.
I once explained the truth of the persecution to the female owner of the Karaoke place. Several ladies were in the office, and they all agreed to quit the CCP. The boss said, “Let's go singing. I have not heard you sing for a long time.” I said, “That is fine, I will sing a Falun Dafa song for you right here.” They asked happily, “Falun Dafa also has songs?” I said “Yes, just listen.” After I sang “Why Do you Reject It?” They looked at each other as if they suddenly understood something. One of them said, “Why after hearing this song, did my brain become empty? And all the energy channels in my body became open. Why didn't you tell us earlier!”
During the past several years, whenever my family hired someone to work for us, no matter what he or she believed, I was always able to persuade them to quit the CCP. Sometimes more than 20 people quit the CCP at the same time. During the lunch hour, I even sang Dafa songs to them. Some of them said, “It is so pleasant to work for you.” One of the men said, “My wife told me that even without pay, we would come here to work.” During the past several years, as long as new people came to work, those who already quit the CCP told them, “Let the boss tell you how good Falun Dafa is, so that you will be blessed.” I followed the suggestion and helped the person quit the CCP. Of course, it is not that we just tell people this, our actions should also reflect the beauty of Dafa. We always considered them first, which reflected our compassion and tolerance. Many of them said, “The fortune of your family came from learning Dafa. You have kind hearts so you are blessed.”
Believe in Master and Dafa, and Break Through the Tests at Home
Before I started cultivating, I had a habit. As long as I didn't do anything wrong, I didn't tolerate gossip from others. After I started cultivation, I seemed to change significantly right away. Many friends and colleagues also told me, “Wherever we go, if someone tells me Falun Dafa is not good, I disagree with them. Just take you as an example. In the past you had a bad temper. As long as you were right, you didn't give others a chance. After you began practicing Falun Dafa, you changed a lot.” I was very happy to hear that.
But this is far from enough for me. We have to do well in all parts of our lives. I had hardship in my family for three years. At first I thought that I was not as healthy as I used to be, so maybe my husband would dislike me. Maybe he had an affair. The more I thought this way, the more likely it would be the case. The more I thought this way, the more angry he became. Sometimes he even tried to beat me. My kids all said that he was too much, and cultivators should not be insulted like this. My daughter asked me to live with her family so that I would not suffer from my husband. I replied, "Did you forget who I am? I can't act like a non-practitioner. You can leave me alone."
Superficially, I looked very tolerant, however I felt it unfair in my heart. When I brought water for my husband to wash his feet, he not only refused to wash, he even said to me, “If you ask me to wash my feet, I will not do it. Only if you don't ask me, will I do it.” After a while, I accumulated many complaints. Although I appeared more patient than before, it still didn't work. Even I myself felt that I was pretending when smiling to him. Sometimes I complained to Master in my heart. I thought that it was because of my karma that I owed him too much. I didn't look inside however. Sometimes if I heard someone talking to him on the phone, I would be worried and suspect that he was chatting with a woman. I sometimes wanted to check and see who was talking with him. When he was using the computer, I also thought that there were inappropriate things on the Internet. It bothered me so much that I was completely affected by him. When I burned incense for Master, I also asked Master to help me get rid of this bad mentality. I indeed did not want it, nor did I want to think that way. When he used the computer, I shut the door, but it still didn't work.
Then once during a Fa study, a paragraph of Fa answered my question.
Master said,
“What's important for cultivators is righteous thoughts. When you have strong righteous thoughts, you are able to withstand anything and do anything. That's because you are a cultivator: someone who is on a divine path and who is not controlled by the factors of ordinary people or low-level principles.” ("Teaching the Fa in the City of Los Angeles")
Indeed, how can I be controlled by the factors of non-practitioners? Once I realized this, I memorized this paragraph of Fa to disintegrate it. When this kind of thought emerges, I tell myself, “I am a cultivator and I cannot be controlled by this. Whenever you emerge, I will disintegrate you.” These thoughts went back and forth for about a month, and finally disappeared. At the same time I looked inside and found my worst problem, which was the inconsistency of my heart and appearance. I didn't truly consider others. I always thought, “There are not many days left to get along with you. Even though it is difficult and tiresome, it is temporary. You can curse me, you can be angry with me, you can create karma for yourself.” Since this showed no compassion, the reflection from my field was not good, so it made others feel uncomfortable. Sometimes when he was mad at me, I had the feeling that he knew my thoughts.
From Master's “Fa Teaching Given to the Australian Practitioners,” I realized that when practitioners have conflicts with non-practitioners, it was 100% the fault of practitioners. What else can I say? I now realized that only if practitioners look inside 100% of the time when facing conflicts, can we avoid trouble. When we sincerely treat others well, others will treat us well. We are Dafa disciples on the path towards becoming diving beings, and we should be in a higher realm.
After passing the extraordinary tests with my family, we are now as harmonious as a few years ago. I feel light-hearted. Thank you Master for your compassionate protection. Thank you fellow practitioners for your help, especially when I was in bed. Several elderly practitioners have been delivering Dafa materials and Master's lectures to my home rain or shine. I want to sincerely say “Thank you!” to them. I can only be more diligent, do well the three things arranged by Master, so that I will not fail Master, and not fail fellow practitioners.
