(Clearwisdom.net) I recently came to the understanding that selfishness is the reason why we hold on to human notions and attachments. I have been practicing Dafa for many years without being aware of this. In the past, I thought that as long as I worked hard at improving myself, did what I could for others, wasn't afraid of suffering losses, and tolerated what others could not, I would be doing well in cultivation. In fact, when looking back at what I did and how conflicts developed with fellow practitioners, I calculated that I should have gained much more virtue than they because of how I behaved. I now realize that my root attachment of selfishness hadn't changed at all.

If I hadn't been selfish, I would have forgotten how I was dealing with fellow practitioners and wouldn't be concerned with accumulating virtue. Instead, I contemplated what level I should be at, my fruit status, and consummation. I know that as a practitioner, I should let things flow naturally and not be concerned with gains and losses. This is like the old forces who want to change only the portion they want to change, thus keeping the “selfish” part intact. I think competitiveness, jealousy, zealotry, desire to show off, grudges, lust, fame, profit, love, and hate all originate from selfishness. That is why in the process of Fa-rectification, Teacher expects us to gradually remove selfishness, the characteristic of the old universe. Only by removing selfishness can we assimilate to the Fa.

I think that when we apply human notions to do things, the purpose is for the self. For example, wanting to improve our character, our fruit status, or our consummation. The real reason why we work is to gain something for ourselves. The old forces also want to assist Teacher, but their purpose is to achieve what they want. Hence, their objective is selfish, and selfishness is not part of the new universe. That is why they are actually interfering with Fa-rectification.

One can do all of the three things without looking inward, while thinking that the more I do the more credit I will accrue. One may even make claims such as, “I am assisting Teacher,” “I am a Dafa practitioner during the Fa-rectification period,” or “I have done a lot more than so and so and hence deserve to have greater virtue.” This type of thinking is based on human notions, not the Fa. What needs to be done is to ask what human notions or attachments need to be let go. Otherwise, the practitioner is actually operating in accordance with human concepts, and if he feels comfortable with his life, he will continue to operate as an ordinary human, not a practitioner.

Teacher has been giving me many hints, and has exposed many of my human concepts recently. When I realized that selfishness was my root attachment, I recalled that I had noticed this attachment in many other practitioners in the past, but didn't check within myself. Maybe it was because I believed I wasn't selfish, which is in itself a dangerous human notion. I constantly looked for attachments to remove, but for a very long time I didn't find my problem. I now realize that my root attachment is selfishness.

One should be able to tell whether a person is a real practitioner through his words and actions. A real practitioner should ideally not be moved by fame, profit, love, hate, or emotion. He will find all sentient beings suffering and wish to spend his time to offer salvation to all beings by clarifying the facts to them. I am most grateful that I now have this understanding.

In the days to come I shall strive to do better and become a true Dafa practitioner, and won't be a disappointment to revered Teacher.