(Clearwisdom. net) I always read the experience sharing articles written by fellow practitioners, and I also share with my nearby fellow practitioners on the issue of the "true self" and the "false self". I thought I was able to differentiate the true and false self. However, just a few days ago, when I talked with fellow practitioners, they talked about how they went through each trial and tribulation with righteous thoughts. I admired the solid cultivation of my fellow practitioners from the bottom of my heart. At that time I did not have too many other thoughts, but I felt regretful that I did not do as well in that regard, and thus I missed many opportunities to cultivate myself. On the way home, all of a sudden an idea came up in my mind: I cultivated so badly. I should walk straight on my cultivation path but I have walked in a crooked, zigzag manner. Compared with my fellow practitioners, I was afraid that I could not cultivate toward high levels. In that case, why should I cultivate at all? Maybe I should just give up...
Along with these thoughts coming up, I suddenly felt depressed and all kinds of bad thoughts came along. On that night I did not study the Fa, I did not practice the exercises and I went to bed early. Just when I hand fallen asleep, I seemed to hear the calling of Master. Thus my main spirit came out from my body and flew up high. After flying a long time and even after flying through a heavenly gate in another dimension, I still flew higher. I believe that I flew over the cultivation course that I had completed or flew to one half of my cultivation height. I stopped flying and felt I didn't need to fly any higher. (I did not see Master but I felt Master was beside me.) Master told me: It's already very high!
My main spirit came back and then I woke up from my dream. I knew it was merciful Master that saw I was in a critical state and used this method to enlighten me. At that time I thought it was Master's encouragement for me to not give up, but I did not look within myself seriously. However, I did not feel light and happy as before when I received Master's hints. I still felt heavy. Later I told my fellow practitioners about this dream. The fellow practitioner very carefully listened to my words, then he communicated with me very seriously from the Fa's perspective. One of his sentences left a deep impression in my mind: You agreed with the thought karma and you treated it as your own thought.
During the night I could not sleep. I tried to look within: Why did such thoughts emerge? After I had been persecuted very badly, I was afraid to come out and clarify the truth. At that time I questioned myself: Shall I give up practicing Dafa? Without a second thought, my mind answered instantly: No way! If I were to live like that, life would be pointless. Obviously that thought was not mine. But the bad thought came out and seriously interfered with me by preventing me from studying the Fa and practicing the exercises. I kept looking for the source of that bad thought and suddenly realized that for a long time, one thought had remained in my mind; that is, I should cultivate towards high levels. Although this bad thought would not come about often, sometimes it would appear in my mind. However, I never paid much attention to it. At this point in Fa-rectification, the old forces in other dimensions scrutinizes each Dafa disciple and their thoughts. With such a strong attachment, how could they let go of it easily? So they used my attachment to destroy my will to continuously cultivate. How terrible this thing is! On the day that I wrote this article, after I finished studying the Fa, one fellow practitioner talked to me about this issue, saying: “The old forces have used all kinds of methods to interfere with you, in a variety of ways. They had one goal, which was to force you to give up cultivation and to destroy you.”
Through this incident, I realized that it is very important for each practitioner to maintain righteous thoughts and a clear mind at all times. As soon as bad thoughts from thought karma or interference from the old forces emerge, we should learn to recognize it and get rid of it instantly. Failing to recognize it and thinking that it (the false yourself) was yourself, it will gradually control you and bring about very serious consequences. That is the trap that the old forces set. On the other hand, cultivating Dafa is a treasured predestined relationship, and whoever can cultivate Dafa and obtain the predestined relationship is extremely lucky. Whether you will achieve a high level or low level of cultivation is not your choice and cannot be achieved by pursuing it.
Master said very clearly in Lecture in Sydney to "Gain naturally without pursuit". Being a practitioner, you should not speak about such things as giving up practicing Dafa and such thoughts should not easily come out of your mouth. Although this was just one thought, that did not represent your real wishes.
Today I wrote about this issue for two reasons. One is to beg Master to forgive me because I wasted Master's efforts in providing me with protection and sending me hints to wake me up along the way. This incident seems trivial, but what it revealed is the fact that I did not pay attention to my thoughts. I did not treat cultivation seriously. The second reason is to communicate with my fellow practitioners who had similar thoughts, and to warn them to be on their guard. I also want to use this opportunity to expose my attachment and the elements behind it, so that I can remove it completely.
I wrote this article in a hurry and I still had a lot of shortcomings and unidentified attachments. Hopefully my fellow practitioners will point them out with a merciful mind. After experiencing this incident, I appreciate more Master's efforts to save me and protect me, and the mighty virtue extended to me. I bow to Master. I have nothing to give to Master, only that I will cultivate diligently to not let Master down! Heshi.
