Thoughts on the Attachment of Lust
(Clearwisdom.net) This article refers to a question in the Q&A section of "Teaching the Fa at the 2004 Western U.S. Fa Conference,"
Question: You've said that if sexual attraction and desire aren't relinquished the person absolutely cannot reach Consummation. Currently there are still many disciples who haven't let go of their sexual attraction and desire. Would you please tell me what the unit of measurement for Consummation is? Is the unit of measurement calculated by particles?
Teacher: Nobody's ever said that--did that come from some wild thinking you had? I've never said anything to you about any relationship between Consummation and some unit of measurement. Dafa disciples: I said long ago that sexual attraction and desire are a fatal roadblock that a cultivator absolutely must overcome. [Those people are] driven by human feelings and emotions way too much. If they can't even pull themselves out of this little thing, then it would seem that back then the old forces should have arranged to put them behind prison walls in Mainland China, as only under those circumstances would they correct the problem, right? I wonder how you'd behave in a brutal environment like that. Are you like this because your life is too comfortable? All those who don't remove that attachment and make excuses for their behavior are fooling themselves and trying to fool others--it's not like I've made any special arrangements for you.”
I have worked repeatedly for several years to eliminate the attachment of lust. I have had a minimal sex life with my husband for a long time, but have recently felt intense interference from lust. I pleaded for Master to help eliminate all the rotten elements of lust in other dimensions. My husband has not had much sexual desire in the past years. We have not had any magazines or newspapers at home. When I saw something bad I threw it out. My husband has stopped bringing pornographic novels home and downloading pornographic videos, because he knows that they are not decent materials. Every time we had sex I would regret it afterwards and warn myself that I must let go of the attachment of lust. I knew that the Qi of blood and essence is used to cultivate longevity, and I shouldn’t just "discharge" like that all the time. Then I would tell my husband, “Sexual intercourse is meant to create offspring. Our child is grown up. Excess sexual activity is helpful for nothing except to exhaust our energy. Wouldn't it be an unnecessary burden if I got pregnant? If you coerce me to have an abortion I would not forgive you for the rest of my life.” Gradually my husband has become less and less interested and would just enjoy himself playing on his computer at night in his room, and I would just study the Fa, do the exercises, and read the Minghui website (Chinese version of Clearwisdom) in my own room. Several years have passed like that.
While my husband has little sexual desire, I have again developed the attachment of lust. Every time I didn't maintain my xinxing and went to my husband's room he would usually turn me away. As I returned to my own room I felt disappointed, but glad that I didn't have sex. However, when the thought of lust attacks, I have all kinds of dirty sexual thoughts. Thought karma throws profane words and inappropriate sexual thoughts into my mind. Every time that happens I have a dream at night in which I am in a lavatory with filthy feces spilling all over the place until there is no place for me to stand. Sometimes, I even fall down in the lavatory.
Several articles on the Minghui website describe how some practitioners think that overcoming lust is easy. The articles don't differentiate between male or female, young or old, handsome or ordinary. They treat all people the same – a life needing to be saved. I envy those practitioners. Why can they can achieve that level that I cannot? At what cultivation level would one have no lust? When I hear people saying my husband is handsome, I feel happy and look at his face for half a day without getting bored. My mother always told me that I paid too much attention to people's looks. That is because I am attached to beauty. Isn't the mud on earth actually the feces of higher beings? It is very filthy. No wonder I dreamed about being in a lavatory with feces.
I used to think that it was okay to have desires and lust in the sex life between husband and wife. But it is definitely not okay, as I have reached today's dangerous state. Although my husband wouldn't touch me, I still threw myself at him and insisted on sleeping with him for three nights in a row.
I realize that the old forces are persecuting me. I feel the fear. I can see that a lot of minions in my dimensions are destroyed but then regenerate. In a dream I saw a female ghost taking advantage of the loophole to possess a human body and saw the word “detention.” I also saw in my dream that several high-level beings of the old forces tied up a fairy wearing white clothes and threw her down from heaven. I suddenly woke up from the dream and realized that the attachment to lust had dragged me down to a dangerous level. Although I have not broken any ordinary people's moral standards, my thoughts are extremely filthy. They stink in other dimensions.
The old forces are closely watching each and every thought of each and every practitioner. They will drag a practitioner down once they spot any loophole in his cultivation. In my opinion, the old forces have persecuted so many practitioners until they lost their human lives just because of the attachment to lust. Some practitioners did not make behavioral mistakes, but the old forces can take advantage of just one inappropriate thought. Lust is not just a sharp knife cutting into people's flesh, but a life-threatening evil ghost!
Buddha Shakyamuni saw an evil being in the form of a beauty enticing him during his cultivation. He thought/visualized the sleeping beauty with a running nose and saliva. He thought about the beauty looking ugly, plagued by severe illness and aging. He thought about the beauty turning into a skeleton and bones after death. Therefore he didn't have a single thought of lust. The evil beings thus failed at interfering with his cultivation.
Even everyday people believe “comfort in life leads to lust.” As a Dafa disciple, whenever I want to indulge in everyday people's happiness, like love and lust, and deviate from the Dafa principles, I should think about the countless eyes of divine beings in the universe looking at me. I should think about the old forces attempting to capitalize on each loophole to drag me down, I should think about the helpless looks on sentient beings' faces as they are confronted with the imminent, large-scale purging of sentient beings. I should think about Master's great benevolence and suffering for us practitioners. I should think about all the practitioners who are seizing each and every moment to save people. I should think about detained practitioners suffering physical and mental persecution. I should think about practitioners who died as a result of torture and who are waiting for me to join them upon my return home. I should think about the sentient beings from my world who are longing for my salvation for years. Should I still be dragged blindfolded to the dangerous cliff by the attachment of lust?
The answer is no. There is no attachment that we practitioners cannot let go of. There is nothing that we practitioners cannot give up. As we study the Fa, send righteous thoughts, look inside for improvement, gain insights into the Fa – just one thought is capable of correcting everything in our dimensions.