(Clearwisdom.net)
Greetings to my great Master! Greetings to my fellow practitioners around the world!
I began practicing Falun Gong 13 years ago. Over the past 13 years I have always felt I was truly fortunate to become a Dafa practitioner, assisting Master in the Fa rectification period, despite all of the difficulties and tribulations that I have gone through. It is Master's compassionate care that has inspired me to walk my cultivation path till today. Many things have happened in the past 13 years, and I have learned so much from Dafa. I would like to share my understandings and report my cultivation status to Master.
1. Embarking on My Cultivation
I first encountered Falun Gong on June 29, 1998. I will always remember when a colleague loaned me a hand-copied book called Zhuan Falun saying, “This is truly an excellent book, a heavenly book. You'd better read it.” I was interested in what she called a “heavenly book” and read it at home. I got so absorbed in reading it that I could not put it aside. It was truly excellent. It took me four nights to finish reading the whole book. When I returned it to my colleague, she loaned me other Falun Gong books, including the second volume of Zhuan Falun, Essentials for Further Advancement, and the Fa lectures that Master had given in different locations. I read them with enthusiasm and excitement, and as my reading progressed further, I gradually came to understand that Master is supreme and what he was teaching was the almighty law of the cosmos. I was convinced that I had found what I had been seeking all of my life, and I made up my mind to walk the cultivation path arranged by Master despite any tribulation I might encounter.
After that I went to group exercises every morning and group Fa study every evening and participated in activities on weekends to introduce the practice to more people.
At first, my husband stood in the way of Falun Gong and caused a lot of trouble when I practiced. He tried to prevent me from going to the group exercise, but I would go when he was asleep. Then he moved a sofa against the door and slept on it. When I would go out for group Fa study, he would come to where I was and quarrel with me. Sometimes he would get very angry when I got home. I organized my household chores carefully and spent my spare time studying and transcribing the Fa and doing the Falun Gong exercises. During that time I upgraded rapidly in cultivation. Although my husband caused a lot trouble, I always made it through the difficulties without treating him the same way. I was never angry with him and treated him and his relatives kindly, thus demonstrating to him the brilliance of Dafa. He later replaced his hostility toward my practice of Falun Gong with his support.
Before I started cultivating, I was hospitalized numerous times each year because I was riddled with illness. I suffered from a nervous breakdown and insomnia. I had agonizing headaches and dizziness. My head felt heavy all the time. I had hyperplasia of the mammary glands and arterial tumors that were operated on, but to no avail. I also had rheumatism, gynecological problems, pain around my lower back, fluid deposits in my chest, and sciatic nerve pain. Every day I felt ill and had a lot of pain. At that time my husband was always furious with me and never cared for me. He was drunk every day and quarreled with me when he came home. I was introverted and didn't speak up, and I dislike quarreling with others. The only thing that I could do when he was full of rage was be tolerant, although sometimes I found it almost completely unbearable. In the eyes of others, our marriage was a complete mismatch. In many ways I appeared superior to him, such as in appearance, personality, and family and educational background. From the outside looking in, he should have been obedient to me, but the reality was completely the opposite. I hated my marriage and my life of torment. I kept asking the heavens why he treated me so badly.
In less than one year after I began to practice Falun Dafa, all my diseases were gone. I became aware of the law of karmic retribution and understood that all of my tribulations were nothing more than the manifestation of my own karma. Such understandings solved all my problems and brought me happiness and health. I was so excited but could not find the words to express my gratitude toward Master. I followed his teachings and cultivated diligently.
2. Stepping Forward to Clarity the Truth During Crisis
One year after I began practicing, the CCP launched its persecution of Falun Gong. On July 21 and 22, 1999, I went to the provincial government to appeal for Falun Gong. At that time, everyone in China was listening to the slanderous propaganda against Falun Gong and its founder initiated by Jiang Zemin. It was so overwhelming that it was as if the skies were falling. Not long after, our practice site was shut down, and every one of us could sense the suffocating and oppressive atmosphere. I considered it to be a serious test in my cultivation. I went home, studied the Fa, and did the exercises as usual. I spent my spare time studying the Fa and kept in mind that I would never make it through such a harsh test without a full awareness of the Fa. My employer and my family pressured me, but I never wavered in my belief in Dafa and my determination to cultivate. I used myself as living proof of the power of Dafa to clarify the facts about Falun Gong to the people around me. I told them that Falun Gong was actually very good and that all the stuff that was being broadcast on China's media was groundless and intentionally misleading.
In early 2000, realizing that we should explain the facts of Falun Gong to others, we began to distribute informational materials and put them up in public places for people to read. In the beginning we had only handwritten materials and handed them on out on weekends. Later we got some printed materials from other cities, but in small quantities. We decided to make photocopies of the printed materials before we used them, but no copy shop dared to make copies for us because they had been warned by the authorities not to copy any Falun Gong materials. One day, I went to a photocopy shop and asked the owner to copy some materials. To avoid being discovered, I made only few copies of each sheet. They did not question me, and I made the copies successfully. I was pleased by what I had accomplished. Feeling confident, I passed the copies to the practitioners waiting outside the shop and took in more sheets to copy. However, after making a few copies, the owner discovered we were copying materials about Falun Gong. He tore the pages into pieces and said in anger, “You will not cause me trouble. The police notified us that we could be fined or closed if we copied Falun Gong materials.” Frustrated, I left the shop and asked the practitioners waiting outside to go home. I looked for another photocopy shop, believing that I could certainly find a place to help me. Teacher taught us: “Cultivation depends on one’s own efforts, while the transformation of gong is done by one’s master. ” (Zhuan Falun) My efforts paid off when I finally found a copy shop that would serve us for as long as we wanted. From then on we would copy as much as we needed, and we even supplied fellow practitioners from other cities with materials. Later my sister called and asked me to spend the Chinese New Year with her. She lived in another province far from mine, and we rarely had the opportunity to see each other. I thought it was a good opportunity to clarify the facts about Falun Gong to her, but I also wanted to see her because of my human sentiment towards her. Before I left, I introduced a fellow practitioner to the copy shop owners and told them that she would take my place to copy materials for the next few days. Later I learned that the fellow practitioner was arrested and had told the police about the copy shop when she was interrogated. When I returned I went to the shop, it was closed. They must have suffered a huge economic loss, but I had no idea where they had gone. I was heartsick whenever I thought about it. It was because of me that their business closed. I am sure that they earned blessings and a good future for all that they did to assist Falun Gong practitioners.
We then had to rely on practitioners from another city for truth clarification materials. After a while, we set up our own materials production site with the help of practitioners from another city. Not long after that, I set up my own site.
When I began practicing Falun Gong, my son was 11 years old and it was the summer holiday. I took him to the group Fa study and exercises. When I clarified the truth, I also took him with me. One day we went out to distribute and put up information sheets. In the busy city center there was a public bulletin board. I put some glue on the sheets and asked my son to paste them on the board. Not long after they were posted, many people crowded around, saying, “Look! It is about Falun Gong!” One day a fellow practitioner brought me hundreds of leaflets and suggested that we put them up at night. She asked me how we should divide up our task. I divided the materials into two parts. I took one part and the other two practitioners took the other half, because they were older than I was. At that time, there were only three of us from our practice site who dared to step forward and do truth clarification. We divided ourselves into two groups and set out after supper. I posted sheets all the way from the gate of my home building to the city government, the police building, and the procuratorate. I also posted pages on the electricity poles, the public bulletin boards, and walls when I passed by. In many places people crowded around to read them right after I put them up. When I arrived at the train station I saw many people waiting in queues to buy train tickets. I thought, “With so many people here, I need to do something to let them know the truth.” I joined the queue and put up a poster on the wall and left. Many of the people in the queue could see the poster. That night I covered more than 50% of the city. I do not know how far I walked, but I did not feel tired at all. I heard the police cars passing by, their sirens whistling, but I was not scared, as if it were something irrelevant to me. Before practicing Falun Gong, I was cowardly and leery, and I would have never dared to go out at night. I did not come home until it was very late, and I had never walked such a long way at night.
I grew more adept as I continued to distribute truth clarification materials over the years. When I first began to deliver materials, I only went to independent houses, unguarded residential buildings, and buildings with no electronic gates. Now I go to guarded residential areas and factories or government employee dormitories. Some residential areas, although under strict watch, would accept the notices. I made sure that I was decently dressed and walked naturally and with confidence. The guards would allow me to pass without question. I never panicked and remained constant even when they did question me. I would say that that I had come to visit someone. If they did ask me the surname of the person I was visiting, I simply made up a name. They would tell me all of the residents under that surname and the details about where they lived, or tell me that the person was presently not at home. I always thanked them. For the next delivery, they would give me passage after I told them the surname of the person I was visiting. When the building was equipped with electronic gates, I would send forth righteous thoughts. It was very likely that the gate would unlock or be opened by someone who was going in or out. I would follow slowly and proceed after the person went into the building, or pretend to tie my shoelaces until he was in his home. Then I would begin to distribute the materials. When I first started, I was scared and would stop when I heard people walking in the corridor or see doors opening. Now that I have let go of my fear under any circumstance, and I give out materials wisely. I continually send forth righteous thoughts during the whole process, from packing the materials to distributing them.
I experienced something very scary, but not painful, while disturbing materials. One day after I left work, I went to distribute materials in a building. Right after I posted the sheets on a door and was about to leave, the door opened and a dog rushed out. Behind the dog came a young man. He tore the sheet off the door and asked me furiously, “You posted this, right? I am a police officer in charge of arresting people like you.” I was not scared at all. While he spoke I sent forth righteous thoughts to eliminate the bad elements behind him and, smiling with joy, I said to him, “What is that, that thing you are talking about?” Then his hostility with warmth, and he said, “You can go now.” I knew Master was protecting me.
The more I distributed materials, the stronger my human attachment to do worldly things grew because of my failure to study the Fa well. In July 2000, I was distributing materials with an elderly practitioner when we were reported to the police. I was detained for 20 days in a detention center. With the help of Master, I regained my freedom with righteous thoughts. Being worried that I could be arrested again, my husband prevented me from leaving home at night and watched me closely. I was very anxious. My husband thought I would not distribute materials if my son accompanied me, so he allowed me to go out with my son. However, I distributed materials with my son. One day we went to a building. I said to my son, “You will cover this unit, while I cover that one.” My son then went into his building with the materials. After we were done, we met and he said to me, “Before I went in, I made a plan. I thought that if I was seen by someone who opened his door, I would say, 'I am here to visit a classmate. Does he live here?'” One day I went with my son to put up informational posters. After posting the sheets on an electricity pole, a police car stopped at the pole and several officers got out of the car. I said to my son, “Stay calm!” We walked away while sending forth righteous thoughts. After we finished sending forth righteous thoughts, we looked back and saw the police car was gone. Master had protected us again. It was exactly as Master taught:
“If you have fear, they will grab you
Once your thought is righteous, evil will collapse”
(“What’s There to Fear,” Hong Yin Vol. II)
With the establishment of our materials site, I was able produce materials in large quantities, but only a few local practitioners went out to distribute them. Some practitioners did distribute them, but they would only deliver several sheets each time. There was a large backlog that I had to distribute myself. I could not go at night because my husband was watching me closely. I carried the materials to work and packed them during working hours. Then I would distribute them after work. I left work one hour before my husband, and I made use of this one hour to distribute the materials before going home. When I worked the night shift, I could leave work earlier. I made full use of those hours to distribute the materials before going home. I did that for quite a long time. Later, I began to distribute materials with one of my colleagues who was also a practitioner. After a while, we all developed the attachment of doing worldly things, zealotry, and feeling too good about what we were accomplishing.
One weekend in June 2003, I went with a practitioner to distribute materials. That day, for some unknown reason, we forgot to send forth righteous thoughts before we left. We were reported to the police and arrested. At the time I was not scared but had a heroic feeling. In my eagerness to bring the facts about Dafa to people, I did Dafa things like doing worldly things and failed to study the Fa well. I was vulnerable to my human attachments and to the old forces, who had watched for the loopholes in our xinxing to justify persecuting us. I was imprisoned for three years and lost three precious years in which to save people.
My husband suffered a lot during my imprisonment. After I was released, he prevented me from practicing Falun Gong, but my heart was as steadfast as before. With the aspiration to compensate for the lost three years of saving people and to keep up with the pace of Fa rectification, I again stepped forward to validate the Fa and save people.
When I was sentenced to forced labor, I lost my job. After I got home, my husband lost his job, too. My son was studying at a university and was in need of money. Facing this crisis, my husband had to allow me to find a new job, despite his concern that I might do Dafa things again. I was not picky about what type of work I did, because now I had a way to leave home. I worked as a babysitter, bussed dishes, cleaned houses, and did many other kinds of work. Nearing the age of 50, I found it very hard to find a job. All of the work was very tiresome and the pay very poor, but I never complained. I was content that I was able to distribute Dafa materials when I finished my work.
One day, it was already quite late when I finished. After a day of hard work, I was very tired and hungry but, instead of going home, I went to distribute materials. It was cold and dark. I could not see in the building. As I took out an information poster, I saw my fingers glowing like a torch. I was very excited by this miracle, bearing in mind that Master was inspiring and protecting me. All of my bitterness and fatigue faded away at this wondrous sight. There were many other miracles, but I will not mention them here.
3. Establishing Our Own Materials Site
We were dependent on practitioners from another city to supply us with Dafa materials. It took us an entire day to go and get materials, and we could not carry too many because they were very heavy. Also, it would be too risky if we carried too many materials. Our dependence on them contributed a lot to their workload and caused them a lot of trouble. Taking all of this into consideration, we set up our own materials production site with the help of practitioners in another city.
We had many difficulties when the materials site was new. We were short of money, ignorant about technology, and the working conditions were also poor. Along with another practitioner, we rented a house to accommodate our materials site. The house had not been renovated, did not have any furniture, and was very cold in the winter. We brought some furniture from our own homes and bought equipment from another city. Another practitioner who was forced into homelessness joined us. Thus, we set up our own materials site. Compared to the other practitioners, I was relatively older and more illiterate, so I did more of the physical work like buying consumables and delivering materials. I would have never been able to do that kind of work had it not been for Master's help and the power of Dafa. Before practicing Falun Gong, I could not carry anything heavier than 5 kilograms, but now I can go up and down stairs carrying two boxes of A4 printing paper. I was amazed by my endurance, but I knew it was Master helping me.
After the establishment of our materials site in 2002, many things happened, but no matter what, we always delivered Master's new articles and truth clarification materials like Minghui Weekly in a timely manner to fellow practitioners. While doing the work we maintained our righteous thoughts all the time and stayed aware of security issues, because we knew the evil was watching us. I never talked with anyone about the site, and I only contacted fellow practitioners privately. In the past ten years of the running of our materials site, no one has ever found out that I was involved in the work. Except for the practitioners involved, no one knows anything about our materials site. Our efforts have paid off, as the supply of Dafa materials to the entire region has never been interrupted.
4. Setting Up My Own Materials Site
After the establishment of our materials site, I was not involved except for material deliveries and lending my help when needed. I contributed as much as I could, and did some coordination work among fellow practitioners. When I was free, I just studied the Fa and did the Falun Gong exercises. At that time I was completely ignorant about using a computer and disliked the idea of using one. I never thought of developing any skills in this regard, and figured that I would have nothing to do with technical issues. I read some articles about elderly practitioners who learned how to use a mouse when they had only known how to farm previously. Those fellow practitioners were illiterate and unskilled, yet they set up their own materials sites successfully. This inspired me to set up my own materials site, too. I noticed the shortage of materials in our area, and our excessive dependence on other materials sites made other practitioners very busy and reduced their time for Fa study and consequently created some problems. As time went on, more local practitioners stepped forward to clarity the truth, which significantly increased the amount of materials needed. Because of these things, my motivation to create my own materials grew stronger, but I had some misgivings. My husband could oppose my plan. I was free from fear, but most of my tribulations came from my husband. Sometimes the tribulations could be very harsh. Master said “Cultivation depends on one’s own efforts, while the transformation of gong is done by one’s master.” (Zhuan Falun) I believed that Master would help me when I had the heart for such a project.
While figuring out what to do, I heard that a fellow practitioner was going to buy a computer. I asked him to buy one for me, also. He was very supportive of my plan and provided me with a lot of technical support. He helped me with the installation and purchase of the computer, as well as the installation of the printer and DVD burners. I also applied for a broadband Internet connection. When I brought the computer and printers home, I thought, “No matter how my husband treats me, I will certainly set up my materials site.” What happened was beyond my imagination, for once I made up my mind, he did not say anything and simply let me go ahead. He even helped me burn and inscribe the CDs when he saw I was very busy. Truly, our heart does change our environment.
With the help of fellow practitioners I learned how to log onto the Minghui/Clearwisdom website, download truth clarification materials, and print the Minghui Weekly and other leaflets. I also learned to burn and inscribe CDs, print truth clarification messages on paper currency, and publish statements on the “three withdrawals” for people who agreed to do it. In the one year I have been making materials, my skills and my xinxing have improved. In the beginning, I would get anxious when the computer or the printer did not work properly, and I would seek help from fellow practitioners. Later, I would look inside before I blamed the computer. Sometimes, I simply asked Master for his help. Now, I can basically solve the problems on my own.
5. Explaining the Facts about Dafa on the Telephone
I read many articles on the Minghui website about practitioners explaining the facts about Falun Gong by telephone. I thought it was a good way to clarify the truth wanted to do it, but I did not know how to. I asked several practitioners, but they did not know either, which made me quite frustrated. I later came across a practitioner who told me that she and another practitioner were learning about telephone truth clarification according to instructions posted on the Minghui website. She told me she would teach me after she learned what to do. Several days later she brought me a mobile phone and installed the necessary software. Not long after, I learned how to use it. I was very happy and put it to use immediately. I later learned from the Internet that a certain type of “made-in-China” mobile phone could “talk” and send both text and graphic messages. I then asked the fellow practitioner to buy one and get it ready for truth clarification. From then on I could call and send messages, in either text or graphic format, with the new mobile phone. I bought a lot of prepaid cards to do the work.
Like other Dafa work, telephone calling provided me with many opportunities to improve xinxing. My mindset, in many cases, was steadfast whether the person listened to the recording or not. From calling over the past two years, I have learned a lot. Now I send graphic messages more than I call, as I think it to be more informative for the recipients. There used to be many failures when sending messages, but the success rate has increased a lot. My everyday work provides me the opportunity to collect telephone numbers of people from different social levels. This makes it convenient to clarify the truth either by telephone or face to face. When there were too many numbers to remember, I would record one or two of them on a piece of paper. Then I would use the number generation function on the mobile phone to send messages to groups generated from those particular numbers. In most cases a connection would be made to the generated numbers and the messages were sent successfully.
I often received messages from people who were hostile and replied to my messages or calls with filthy words. Some asked who I was. Since I was quite busy everyday, in most cases I simply deleted the abusive messages and forgot about them. Several days ago I received another abusive message. After I read it, I was not angry but felt sorry for the sender. I replied to him in a friendly tone and with good intentions. He then replied again and replaced his previous hostility by expressing his concern for my safety. I then sent him a graphic message with the facts about Falun Gong. He did not respond, but I was pretty sure that he had become aware of the true story of Falun Gong. Several days later I sent him an audio about the “three withdrawals.” He listened until the three-minute-long recording was over. I believed he would be saved with more truth clarification.
When people refused to listen to the recording, I could have gotten frustrated and might have considered giving up, but I have always readjusted my mindset by sending forth righteous thoughts. When I would begin calling again, people would listen, and many were patient enough to listen to the entire recording.
With a daily schedule of work, Fa study, the exercises, making Dafa materials, and playing a coordinating role in Dafa work, there is little time left on my trips to and from work, along with other miscellaneous breaks, for sending truth clarification messages. I do not have weekends off, but I've arranged my time so well that I can straighten out everything that I need to do. I get up at 3:30 a.m. to do the exercises. I study the Fa at the noon break and read the Minghui Weekly and Master's Fa lectures when I am not occupied by work. My work takes me around the city, and I distribute truth clarification materials as I go. Wherever I go, I post materials. Through my work, I meet people from different social levels, which provides good opportunities to clarify the truth face to face. One thing that I have failed to do well is that I've been selective about who to clarify the truth to and sometimes have had some misgivings, which has made some people slip away from my truth clarification. I shall change my course by studying the Fa more diligently.
I know very well that my cultivation path has been arranged by Master. Practitioners have their own cultivation paths and it is up them to do well in what it is they are supposed to do. We must create our environment for Fa study and truth clarification while living in this mundane world.
Sluggishness, frustration, and other human attachments have had their way with me. Through 13 years of cultivation I may have failed to concentrate enough on Fa study due to my busy life, but I am certain that it is because of Fa study that I am a better person.
Thirteen years of cultivation and 13 years of grace with Master at my side! My gratitude toward Master defies any description that could be uttered in mere words. Thank you, Master, for your compassionate salvation!
