(Clearwisdom.net) I am 27 years old, and practice Dafa on my own. The Minghui/Clearwisdom website provides me with a good cultivation environment. I can read other practitioners’ experiences, how they persevere through life-and-death tests, and the principles they enlightened to. When I felt so lonely that I could no longer go on, when it was hard to pass a test, when fear or an attachment to comfort prevented me from stepping forward to rescue sentient beings, or when I was lost when confronted with a problem, I studied the Fa, which always gives me insights. Other practitioners’ articles have also been very helpful.
My mother began practicing Falun Gong when I was in high school. I read Zhuan Falun, but I didn't realize how precious Dafa was. While attending college I went after worldly pursuits and basically stopped reading the Fa.
The many things I encountered after I graduated from college in 2005 were even more confusing to me. People fought each other for fame and fortune. It seems that morality is so fragile when people are faced with money and desires.
I watched the movie “The Passion of the Christ.” It is so similar to what Dafa disciples are going through. I realized why Dafa practitioners have the courage to give up everything and shoulder tremendous tribulations for the sake of safeguarding the Fa. I was deeply moved and realized how precious Dafa is. I became determined to practice Dafa early in 2007.
During the early stage of my cultivation, many of my attachments, including some I was not aware of, were magnified. I felt physical discomfort after I got angry, but I still had a hard time controlling my temper. I slowly learned to reign in my emotions, and sometimes I looked inward. The only other practitioner I talked with at the time was my mother. Once in a dream I saw the book Zhuan Falun descending from the sky and coming to the side of my pillow. Mother told me that Master was telling me to study the Fa more. From then on, I studied three chapters of Zhuan Falun each day and could feel physical changes each time.
The first time I went through sickness karma was October 2007. I had many blisters on the right side of my chest and my back, but only a few of the blisters on my chest hurt. The pain was excruciating. When I could not fall asleep due to the pain one Sunday night, Master’s words appeared in my mind,
“A Great Enlightened One fears no hardship
Having forged an adamantine will”
(“Righteous Thoughts and Righteous Actions” in Hong Yin Volume II)
I felt that Master was encouraging me to press onward. The pain gradually subsided on Monday. I then had a deeper understanding of these words from Master,
“When you feel very uncomfortable, it indicates that things will turn around after reaching the extreme point. Your whole body will be purified and it must be completely purified. The cause of your illness has been removed, and what remains is only this bit of black qi that will come out on its own to let you suffer some and have some pain. It is forbidden for you not to suffer even a little bit.” (Zhuan Falun)
Then another test came up. My company arranged for another person to move in and share my dorm room. At first I saw it as interference toward my Fa study environment, and I didn't think that this was a predestined person coming to learn the truth. When I opened Zhuan Falun in the evening to study, Master’s picture in the book looked very serious, and I realized I was wrong. People who can live with me must have a great predestined relationship with me, and I must tell him about Dafa. I was very friendly and considerate of him, and he was very easygoing. He did not spend a lot of time in the dorm room. He went out and came home late at night, so had he virtually no impact at all on my Fa study and exercises. I also told him about Dafa when the time was right. He happened to move a few months later, and I went back to living on my own. I am truly grateful that Master gave me such a great opportunity, to confront and overcome my bad habit of running away from problems. After that, I learned to approach and resolve issues with righteous thoughts.
My mother began practicing Dafa before 1999. She had been be very sickly, but recovered through Dafa practice. However, she developed symptoms of breast cancer in late 2006 and died two years later.
When she was bedridden, in my heart I blamed her for not being strict with herself - not looking inward, and as a result the old forces took advantage of her. At times she dozed off when sending righteous thoughts, and I would remind her in a rude tone of voice, which was hurting her. At the same time I hoped she would get better quickly, and I read Dafa books to her with this pursuit in mind and hoped for a “quick fix.” When I didn’t see any results after a few days, and especially no improvement after other practitioners sent righteous thoughts for her, I started to have doubts.
Mother’s death caused misunderstandings toward Dafa with my father and other relatives. It is difficult to change their minds even now. As Dafa disciples, our every single thought and action must conform to Dafa, and we must fix any mistakes as soon as possible, especially human notions. We shouldn’t let the old forces take advantage of our gaps, as it will make rescuing sentient beings more difficult. For everyday people, our words and actions represent Dafa. If we do well, everyday people will say that Dafa is good, and if we don’t, then we not only fall short in personal cultivation but also make a bad impression on people who see us, and it would be difficult to rescue them later, as Master has told us.
My mother’s passing made me realize the seriousness of cultivation. Besides studying Zhuan Falun daily, I also read several articles in Essentials for Further Advancement and study other lectures in chronological order. I also came across Minghui Weekly and other materials for the first time during that period and got to know some content on the Minghui/Clearwisdom website. It was most helpful.
At the same time, I began to recite the book. When I memorized the words I understood more than when I was reading, and I understood different meanings than those I understood before. It was as if I had never read the book. This gave me even more confidence. Over the course of a year I also felt the power of sending righteous thoughts for a long time. While sending righteous thoughts for an extended time, I clearly felt my body becoming very large and very warm, and my mind is much more focused. This made me realize the power of Dafa disciples’ righteous thoughts. Everything increased my faith in Dafa's power.
As I studied the Fa more, I found the answers to many questions and tests I was unable to pass before. Now, when some bad thoughts come up, I see the problems from the Fa. I know these bad thoughts are not me, but instead human notions or bad messages from the universe. Being able to make this distinction makes it easier to remove these bad thoughts instead letting them sway me.
During the past year I also saw my selfish side. When an issue arises, my first thought is always how to protect myself. I always try to change other people instead of changing myself, or think about what attachment this issue has exposed in me. One time a vendor downstairs started playing loud music soon after I started studying the Fa in my dorm room. I realized it was interference for my Fa study. I sent righteous thoughts to do away with the interference, but it didn’t work. I thought of Master's teaching, “Everything happens for a reason;" I must have an attachment that I need to remove. When I thought it over, I remembered that I enjoyed a particular pop song very much. The music outside disappeared as soon as I realized this attachment. When someone treats me badly or says something that affronts me, I usually complain about this person being like this, but it’s actually reminding me to remove my desire to hear nice words. If I didn’t have this attachment, this kind of thing would not happen.
I have increasingly realized the importance of studying the Fa well since early 2010, and the meaning of fundamentally changing human notions. When I returned to work after the New Year holiday, a co-worker whom I had a good relationship with often stood next to me reading a magazine, which annoyed me and affected my work. I had negative emotions and resented him. Later, I studied this passage,
“Do you realize that as long as you’re a cultivator, in any environment or under any circumstances, I will use any troubles or unpleasant things you come across—even if they involve work for Dafa, or no matter how good or sacred you think they are—to eliminate your attachments and expose your demon-nature so that it can be eliminated, for your improvement is what’s most important.” (“Further Understanding” in Essentials for Further Advancement)
After reading this passage I suddenly realized this was meant to eliminate my demon nature. Master also said,
“A benevolent person always has a heart of compassion. With no discontentment or hatred, he takes hardship as joy.” (“Realms” in Essentials for Further Advancement)
I was upset and resentful because of my co-worker’s behavior, which means I fell short of a the standard for a benevolent person. When I realized this I gradually suppressed these emotions. Later, the same co-worker still occasionally strolled over and read magazines, but he gradually stopped coming as I took the matter lightly.
Even though I have practiced cultivation for over three years, I am sometimes still interfered with because of an attachment to reputation and money. I have worked at this company for about five years. The amount and level of difficulty of my work is much greater than that of my co-workers, and my supervisor has acknowledged my skill and effort. However, my salary is the lowest among employees who have the same amount of work as me, and some people who have less of a workload earn a higher salary than me. I was very upset during those few days and thought about asking for a raise, but I realized a cultivator should do things without pursuit. I finally truly made up my mind after studying “Fa Teaching Given in Manhattan, 2006” many times. Soon after I discarded my attachment to money, the company offered me a raise without my ever asking.
Seize Every Opportunity to Clear Up Misconceptions and Save People
After I started taking Fa study seriously I felt the urgency to speak with people about Falun Gong and the persecution. The first time I spoke up about Falun Gong was when a group of friends came to my place to visit. I knew they had come to learn the truth, so I made two DVDs to give to them, but it took a great amount of courage to do so. As I gained a deeper understanding of the Fa, I was able to talk about Dafa with acquaintances, but I would get angry when people refuted me, and I was boiling inside, even though I didn’t argue with them. This emotion hindered me from remaining calm and clarifying things.
I learned by reading other practitioners' articles to encourage people to quit the Party, and I mentioned Dafa when talking to friends and asked them to quit. The first time I talked to my co-workers about Dafa was after watching a disaster movie. I spoke with them about the persecution of Christians, the four plagues that nearly destroyed the Roman Empire, and the rock in Guizhou with the naturally formed words, “The Chinese Communist Party Dies,” and I also talked about Dafa. One co-worker quickly accepted it. Although my mind was not steady at first I mustered courage and became steadier and was able to talk to people more naturally.
One former college classmate was once hospitalized for major surgery. I realized I should talk to him. I had previously given him a DVD, and he took it, and I talked to him and his girlfriend. When I saw the couple again in 2009 and asked them to quit the Party, they agreed and I felt they had been waiting for a long time. I also talked to several other former classmates who were also visiting him. They also accepted DVDs. I also spoke with co-workers and former classmates and helped them quit the Party. Now that I look back, I simply wanted them to know the truth, and I was able to help them quit.
I bought a printer, and at first distributed letters and made beautiful covers and put them in red envelopes, then taped them on people’s doors. When I first did this I was still fearful, and I made several trips where I didn't put up a single envelope. I studied the Fa daily and often read other practitioners’ articles, but I still could not do it. I nonetheless kept going out whenever I got a chance, because I knew - based on Fa principles, that I must temper myself. Once I finally gathered enough courage and put some materials outside a door in a remote village. Afterwards I felt much lighter, as if the fear had been removed from my dimension. No longer did I have much fear or worries, and I was gradually able to distribute materials. It was the process of eliminating fear. Everything went smoothly with Master’s protection.
The first stranger I asked to quit the Party was a taxi driver. He mentioned he was a Party member and he thought well of the party. I mustered enough courage to talk to him about quitting the Party, how corrupt it is, and that many people have already quit. He was interested and believed me. It felt as if he had been transformed into a different person and acknowledged that the Party was bad. Because of time limitation I didn’t explain the reason he should quit very well before I hastily asked him to quit¸ and he hesitated. Even though I wasn’t successful, I became much more confident in talking to strangers.
When people disagreed with me I used to think, “Why is this person so stubborn?” and sometimes I even argued with them, but I now have a compassionate heart and come from a place of pure good intentions. I kindly explain everything under any circumstance and never argue, and the outcome is pretty good. When I’m able to do this, people are willing to listen.
Fear always interferes with me when I distribute materials and when I talk to people. The key to completely eliminating fear is to study the Fa well and strictly conduct myself according to Dafa. Only when I do this does it reduce interference and the process of saving people becomes smoother.
I used to get upset when I encountered a problem, and I immediately tried to circumvent it. When I had an opportunity to speak with strangers about quitting the Party, I would sometimes miss people because I assumed a certain person might be difficult to talk with, or I feared losing face. When I talked to acquaintances, I feared not saying it properly and that it might affect our friendship. When I see these attachments, I clearly feel the fear dissipating.
I truly feel that Master is saving people, and Dafa is saving people, and we only need to act according to Dafa’s requirement, as sentient beings are awaiting salvation. I can feel their joy upon being saved. I once spoke with a security officer at a company; at first I didn’t talk to him because I feared getting arrested or reported. I learned from chatting with him that he was a Party member and he supported the Party. When I heard this I wanted to give up on him, but then he brought up Falun Gong himself and offered his thoughts about it. I thought, “I must not miss this wonderful opportunity.” So I asked him why he thought Falun Gong is persecuted in China, and I also told him that Falun Gong was being practiced all around the world. Then, little by little, I told him about quitting, doing the three withdrawals, and how to go about it. After I told him everything he was even more excited than me.
I ran into this security officer later on another occasion. He told me that he wanted to withdraw from the Party. He said that he felt as if he had something solid to depend on after he learned that Dafa was good. He was going to tell his family and let all of them know about this wonderful news. When I heard all of this, I almost cried. If I hadn’t clarified the truth with Master’s help I would have let him down, and he was such a good person. I also realized that we must explain everything clearly. When people actually learn the truth, it feels as if they change from the inside out. For example, when I spoke with a new co-worker he told me many people talked to him about Falun Gong before, but this time he truly learned the facts about Dafa, and why it’s necessary to quit the Party. Soon, this person left our company. It felt as if he came here just to learn the truth.
I have not done enough in terms of clarifying the facts. I will strive forward ever more diligently, do well with the three things, and reach consummation to follow Master home.
