Raising Our Xinxing Level Amidst Conflicts

(Clearwisdom.net) Recently, I began to make truth-clarification DVDs. I had to learn how from step one since I'd never done it before. At the same time, it involved collaboration with other practitioners. I realized the way we look at conflicts is in itself a process of cultivation.

One afternoon, a practitioner and I decided to go together to get the computer fixed. It was a cold, gloomy, and snowy day. I brought the computer and waited for her for two hours at a certain location. I thought she was busy, so I told myself to not get upset about it. Since there was no public phone in the area, I borrowed someone else's phone to call her. She said she was with another practitioner. She suggested that I meet her at another location. After waiting thirty minutes, she still did not show up. So I asked a man who was posting advertisements to give her a call. Fifteen minutes later, she rushed over giggling, “I'm so sorry. I made you wait two hours.” I replied with indifference, “Didn't you say to meet here?” I was not happy and thought she was young and undependable. She noticed my mood and became upset too, then took the computer and rushed into the building to look for the repair shop. It was a crowded place with many booths. I could not catch up with her, so I waited downstairs by the entrance. It was getting dark and I wanted to go home. But I thought I should wait for her, so I asked another person to call her to tell her I was waiting by the entrance. She said she was on the third floor and wanted me to go upstairs. I replied, “The stores are about to close. I'm not going upstairs.” No one spoke on the way home, as we were upset with each other.

I calmed down after I got home. I thought it was wrong to treat cultivation issues with human notions. She left with another practitioner to take care of things, and was probably looking at the broader picture when doing work to save people. I was merely looking at the issue from my point of view. Wasn't I being narrow-minded when I complained about her not being on time or undependable? I was so focused on how I felt. It was obvious that I was attached to my “self.” Although I was busy in the afternoon, she had been busy all day long. Even if she was not considerate, I shouldn't have been upset and should have comforted her. My behavior was full of human attachments. Although I knew I should put others before myself, I completely forgot about it then. Once I realized that, things became clear to me. I should discard these notions and attachments to close any gaps between practitioners.

We were a bit worried the last few days as the computer was not functioning properly. A practitioner from another area came to help. She turned it on to see if it worked, and the problem persisted. She said, “It's not letting you get the work done.” I thought, “Who would stop me from doing things to save people?”

Teacher said,

“The old forces don't dare to oppose our clarifying the truth or saving sentient beings. What's key is to not let them take advantage of the gaps in your state of mind when you do things.” (“Teaching the Fa at the 2002 Fa Conference in Boston”)

When faced with obstacles, I should look at it with righteous thoughts, and not avoid the problem. This practitioner asked me if I had an attachment to fear, or if there were issues with my family. I thought her questions were a little far-fetched. I was feeling frustrated and reluctantly said, “Thank you for the reminder.” She added, “There is this elderly practitioner in our area who talks about the Fa, but does not conduct himself accordingly.” I thought impatiently, “Isn't she using the Chinese Communist Party culture and logic to explain things? How can we use human logic to measure cultivation issues? Teacher told us to clarify the truth earnestly.” So I interrupted her and said, “Cultivation is a personal matter and it's about eliminating one's attachments. It is not just talk. How can one understand the Fa at that level if one has not reached that level in cultivation? We have read Zhuan Falun many times, can you explain the Fa principles in Chapter One? We can repeat an ordinary book after reading it once, but can we do that with Zhuan Falun?”

After she left, I thought I was treated unjustly and felt very hurt. I knew I was being emotional. I reminded myself that I'm cultivating and recalled Teacher's lecture to the practitioners in Australia. I thought about what I said earlier and was wondering if I had used the Fa principles to cover my own attachments. Not only was I not letting her talk, I was attached to myself. Even if she was wrong, so what? We are walking on the path toward divinity and Teacher is taking care of things for us. Being emotional prevented me from accepting other views, and it's an attachment to competitiveness. These are human notions. I recalled that the practitioner was smiling, calm, and peaceful because she was looking at the issue with righteousness. She wanted to help me eliminate my attachments so that I could quickly raise my xinxing, and I failed to see her point of view.

I realized the following principles: to truly cultivate, one must follow the xinxing requirements set forth by Dafa and be able to follow it with actions. When encountering problems, one should look inside first. Only when we let go of humanness can we attain divinity. I saw the particular practitioner the next day, and she was still very peaceful. We continued to share about the projects we were undertaking.