(Clearwisdom.net) “Illness karma” attacked me this time suddenly and violently. I was fine during dinner, but I began feeling sick at about 8:00 p.m. Immediately after that I urinated strong-smelling blood, followed by extreme pain. I felt miserable. Gradually I felt cold, had a headache, and vomited after eating. I had to relieve myself every few minutes, and it really hurt. I did not eat well for three days.
I thank my wife who took good care of me. She prepared porridge, fruit, and noodles for my meal choices. She dressed and fed me.
When I could not focus on Fa-study I listened to Master’s lectures, but was unable to listen all the time. While sending righteous thoughts and fell asleep, my wife woke me up if my hand was not straight. When I fell asleep while sending righteous thoughts, I saw a dark-colored, three-layered ring with a portrait of the head of the Chinese Communist Party (CCP) right before me. When my righteous thoughts were strong, that thing vanished right away. After that I no longer felt tired when sending righteous thoughts.
It turned out that I was not really asleep while sending righteous thoughts. The evil spirits were putting up hurdles to stop me from eradicating them. I understand that if I feel sleepy and cannot concentrate while studying the Fa or when sending righteous thoughts, those bad substances don't want to be eliminated. They plot all kinds of tactics to keep me from studying the Fa and sending righteous thoughts.
As a matter of fact, even in this dimension, if I feel tired when interference comes, the old forces cannot interfere with my genuine true self in this dimension. When I cultivate, my true self is actually in control. One's genuine self, in addition to supernatural abilities, activates one's true thoughts, so we should not be tired or sleepy [when studying the Fa or sending righteous thoughts].
I continued doing what I believed was the right thing with regard to the “illness karma”— I studied the Fa, sent righteous thoughts, and searched my thought processes to look for attachments. I discovered lack of Fa study, lust, selfishness, and a desire for recognition and benefits. But no matter how hard I tried, I still felt miserable. My physical condition deteriorated.
Helplessly, I held the Heshi gesture and begged Master to help me. The moment I closed my eyes, I saw that Master in his portrait appeared skinnier than before, but immediately Master displayed a huge, golden picture of a Dafa book. I finally understood. Master had endured much more than what I had endured. The main cause for the “illness karma” interference was that I had not used my mind when I read the Fa.
Besides shedding grateful tears, what could I say? I no longer
dared to lie down and listen to Master’s lectures. I sat up
immediately, with my legs crossed. Respectfully holding
Zhuan Falun in my hands, I began to read word by
word.
Although the discomfort continued, the karma was ineffective now
because I knew that now I no longer existed in the Three Realms.
The old forces could not reach me. When it hurt, it did not hurt
me; when it was uncomfortable, I was not uncomfortable. I told
myself that I was a Dafa practitioner and this had nothing to do
with me. Studying the Fa and cultivating myself were my
responsibilities. Even if I did not do well, it was still not the
old forces’ right to teach me lessons. I returned to the big group
Fa-study, like a regular practitioner, and I sat down with my legs
crossed. When it was extremely hard I would take the legs down. If
my head hurt, I crossed my legs again.
After an entire night I knew that the test was almost over. I told my family, “Don’t worry about me anymore. I’m fine now. I don’t have any discomfort. The concepts of hunger when I don’t eat, or exhaustion have no effect on me, because these concepts are the norms in the Three Realms.”
From then on I no longer held any thought if I had “illness” symptoms, as that concept no longer existed. I ate whenever I could, and I drank when I was thirsty. When I was unable to eat or drink, I simply ignored it.
I no longer sent righteous thoughts to particularly eliminate “illness.” Fa-rectification era Dafa disciples have grand duties. We send righteous thoughts to eradicate the evil beings that [try to] damage Dafa in other dimensions. On Sundays early, as usual, I participated in technology training sessions, and in the afternoons I clarified the truth to visitors at a tourist site. That day, there were many tourists. I had never met so many Chinese tourists before. I suddenly realized the real purpose behind the interference of “illness” was to prevent me from going to the tourist site last Sunday. Since I did not go that day, a large number of people probably lost their opportunity to be saved.
Although I have passed this latest test this time, I know that I am still lagging. Because of that, I need to be more diligent.
I would like to tell practitioners in my area who are still bothered by “illness karma,” and whose family members (also practitioners) are still worried about them, that as Master teaches us, everyone has his/her own cultivation path. Telling other practitioners how to “cultivate” is probably ineffective. It is up to us, ourselves, to become enlightened and know what to do at critical moments so that we can overcome obstacles with righteous thoughts. Family members who are also practitioners can do their best to care for each other, send righteous thoughts for each other, and remind each other to concentrate when we study the Fa. Doing so is the best help we can offer practitioners who are experiencing “illness karma.”
My understanding is very limited. Please kindly point out the inappropriate points.
