(Clearwisdom.net) I am a female university student and started practicing Falun Gong this past February. I am writing down my cultivation experience to share with fellow practitioners.
Beginning Dafa Cultivating
I knew that the communist regime slandered Falun Gong. The book Zhuan Falun was in my home. Since I was deeply deceived by the regime's propaganda, I didn’t understand the truth of Falun Gong until I read a flyer a few years later. After reading Dafa books, I came to understand that it taught how to be a good person. I soon returned to being an ordinary person as I was on and off with my cultivation and didn’t cherish this opportunity. Then this year, I heard that a practitioner had levitated during meditation, so I was afraid of being left behind in cultivation and then started to cultivate.
I seriously asked myself: “Do I want to cultivate? Can I let go of attachments?” I asked myself a few times and thought it was very tough. I was attached to too many things. Finally, I made up my mind to cultivate unconditionally and I wanted to be a Dafa practitioner.
I read Zhuan Falun that day. I felt that this was not just a book – it was a cultivation book. Mankind created a lot of kama during numerous reincarnations. Master pulled us from hell, purified us, and took care of us, arranging for us the most sacred way. This is the first time ever in history that I really can go home.
I had good grades, but was often absent and late. I slept a lot during my free time. After practicing Falun Gong, I was not absent again nor liked to sleep much. When I had a conflict with my classmates, I would not focus on the other person's problems. I am tolerant and do not worry about losing face. I rarely have hatred in my heart. When I heard my classmates swearing, I felt sorry and pity for them. I hope they can come to understand the truth.
The Evil Has Taken Advantage of Our Gaps
I read Master’s short articles when I first logged onto the Minghui/Clearwisdom website. I have come to understand the importance and urgency of saving sentient beings. I also clarified the truth to my classmates. Since I had various attachments, I didn’t clarify the truth clearly and I was reported to the police a few weeks later by a classmate. I looked inward and realized that I didn’t cultivate myself well: I didn’t come to a deep understanding of the Fa; my mind wasn’t clear during Fa-study. I didn’t send forth righteous thoughts enough, and my mind wasn’t pure when I clarified the truth. Sometimes I talked at too high of a level and scared the people who listened to me. I developed complacency when someone quit the Chinese Communist Party. I would feel lost if they refused to quit, which was not from compassion.
The Party secretary in my institute had two discussions with me. I remembered that Master said to save all sentient beings, so he should be saved, too. I clarified the truth to him, but he didn’t listen. He said I'd have to quit my studies if I continued to practice Falun Gong, and he would hand me over to the police and so on. Later he phoned my home, and my father and my uncle came to persuade me to stop practicing. They didn’t move my heart, so they beat me until my nose bled. Finally, when they realized that I wouldn't change my mind, they left and the secretary also gave up. I had two dreams later, and it hinted that I didn't have enough compassion. My attachment of sentimentality pushed them away.
During those few weeks, I felt bad elements pressing down heavily on me. I knew that the evil wanted to destroy me, so I reinforced one thought, that no matter how many attachments I had, Master would arrange to eliminate them. Since the evil hindered the Fa-rectification, Master would eliminate them. However, I occasionally had a negative thought, such as no matter how the evil persecuted me, I was determined to cultivate. Didn't that mean that I recognized the evil’s persecution? My attachment of fear also emerged.
Master taught us:
“We are teaching Falun Dafa. In practicing cultivation of our school, you will not have any problems as long as you can conduct your xinxing well, since one righteous mind can subdue one hundred evils. If you cannot maintain your xinxing well and go after this or that, you are bound to get yourself into trouble.” (Zhuan Falun)
I always thought that the evil could persecute me. Wasn’t that a form of pursuit? I didn't want that dirty stuff, I wanted to follow the path that Master has arranged for me to diligently cultivate. Master helped me clean up that evil. Without Master’s care, I would not be where I am today.
Every Day Is a Test of Believing in Master and Dafa
I wanted to share a few things since I have been cultivating for a few months. Every day I had a test to see if I was determined to cultivate.
Since I knew about the Minghui website, I always liked to read fellow practitioners’ sharing articles. The reason I started to practice Falun Gong wasn’t to get of illness, nor did I encounter dangerous situations. I hadn't encountered hardship in life. At the beginning of my cultivation, I always wondered whether Master was taking care of me. Later, when I read an article by Master answering a fellow practitioner's question, I found my answers and no longer was attached to that thought.
During those few days, as soon as I started to read Zhuan Falun, my dirty thoughts would surface and I felt bad elements come out of my body in addition to having bad thoughts towards Master. I knew it was thought karma, but it upset me. I just wanted to cry and felt I was not good enough to study the Fa. I realized that cultivation is a serious matter. The bad things I had done in the past became tests on my cultivation path. Master eliminated the karma for me again and allowed me to continue cultivating.
The evil interference during those few days made me feel that I wasn’t good enough to be a Dafa practitioner. It was difficult and I was sad. Then I read a practitioner’s sharing article and came to understand that it was the old forces' interference and their purpose was just to stop me from cultivating.
I don't know other fellow practitioners locally and I have no one to share with. I appreciate Master allowing me to access the Minghui website as I can read other practitioners' sharing articles. May 13th was Master’s 60th birthday. While reading the greetings from fellow practitioners who created them for Master and also the articles of fellow practitioners who recalled Master teaching Dafa in mainland China, I burst into tears.
I read about fellow practitioners memorizing and reciting the Fa, so I also decided to memorize Zhuan Falun. I am memorizing Lecture One now. Although it is a slow process, I am determined to do it. Maser told us,
“Does everyone know what I’m doing? I treat all practitioners, including those who are able to truly practice cultivation through self-study, as my disciples.” (Zhuan Falun)
Whenever I think about Master’s Fa above, I can’t help but cry. I always feel it is a glory to be a Dafa disciple. I will have a clear and clean mind to study the Fa well. I thank Master for His compassionate salvation, and I thank my fellow practitioners for their help.
