(Clearwisdom.net) I started practicing Falun Dafa in 1998. Prior to that, I was a “doormat” in the eyes of others. My husband constantly cursed at and beat me. He didn't do any housework, constantly caused problems, and smashed things whenever he got drunk. He always looked for excuses to fight with or insult me, especially during the holidays. He borrowed a lot of money after he lost his job in 1995, and people showed up time and again to collect on his debts. Those times were really difficult. We divorced, but then reconciled out of consideration for our two children. However, we didn't register the second marriage. Soon after we reconciled, he became even worse than before. At that time, I thought that I would have to leave him after the children grew up and got married.

In 1998, both my son and daughter got married, and I thought that this was the right time to leave him. That May, I received the precious book Zhuan Falun. I eagerly finished reading it. I discovered answers to questions that had puzzled me for years. Why did my husband treat me like that? Because I owed him too much in my previous life and I was paying back my karma? After gaining an understanding of causal relationships and karmic retribution, I gradually gave up the idea of divorce and started treating him better. He helped me to find a practice site and supported me in practicing Falun Dafa. He was much nicer to me. He tried hard to get a job and helped me with the housework. His personality improved immensely.

In April 2009, we obtained contracts with a school cafeteria and a supermarket. I was busy all day doing business and earning money. I got up early and went to bed late. I didn't have time to study the Fa, do the exercises, or send righteous thoughts. Fearing arrest, I was quite afraid of clarifying the truth, so I missed many people who had predestined relationships with me. This became a loophole for the evil forces. Gradually, my husband stopped caring about our family. I was so busy that I didn't even have time to eat, but he didn't care about that. Finally, he had an affair and didn't come home to sleep anymore. I kindly tried to persuade him, but he didn't listen and even beat me. Finally, he even cursed Teacher and threatened to kick me out of the house. I got so angry; all the past experiences passed before my eyes, and I forgot that I was a cultivator. I packed my clothes and left home.

I went to the home of a fellow practitioner and told her my story. The practitioner helped me from the perspective of the Fa, and I calmed down a little. Another practitioner took me to a Fa study group. That was the first time that I'd attended group study since 1999. I studied Teacher's lectures, especially the recent ones about looking inward.

I realized that all practitioners were required to look inward. One practitioner had conflicts with her husband. She looked inward and said that she'd always looked down on her husband, which actually caused the conflicts. Then she asked me, “Did you look down on your husband?” I replied immediately, “No, no, he always looked down on me.” Before the words were even out of my mouth, I realized that I was wrong. I quickly said, “Yes, actually.” This experience helped me to learn how to look inward. As a matter of fact, after digging deeper, I found a lot of problems. I always thought about his problems and that the family wouldn't survive without me. I did everything. I always thought highly of myself and blamed my husband in front of the children. Our children also hated and blamed him. I was thrifty, while he always wasted money. I always felt angry when he spent money. I had so many attachments, such as blaming, fighting, attachment to personal gain, jealousy, showing off, etc. I suddenly realized that I was wrong.

From the perspective of the Fa, I understood that whenever practitioners have conflicts with non-practitioners, there is always something for the practitioner to improve upon. For so many years, I didn't realize that I was wrong. Because I was a “doormat,” non-practitioners thought that I was a good person, wife, and mother.

By studying the Falun Dafa teachings, I realized that what non-practitioners thought was good might not really be good and that only by aligning with the characteristic of the universe, Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance, can a person truly be good. This time I understood, and my xinxing improved immediately. I wrote a letter of apology to my husband and told him that I'd decided to do this after studying the Fa, looking inward with the help of fellow practitioners, and improving my xinxing. He also changed after reading the letter. For the first time in 30 years, he said that he was sorry and asked for my forgiveness. I forgave him and we reconciled.

During this process, my older sister said we should require him to kneel for seven days straight. My younger sister said that we should have him write a statement. Considering these suggestions, I had a strong thought: “I'm a Fa-rectification period practitioner. Once I face these issues with righteous thoughts, everything will change.” I was always considerate of him and cultivated myself whenever conflicts occurred. I eliminated my hatred towards him, and he changed his chauvinistic attitude. He changed completely, and became amiable and kind. I realized that not registering for the second marriage was wrong, so we registered.

After the conflict with my husband was resolved, the problems of my son and daughter were placed before me. My son and daughter-in-law always quarreled with each other. Every time they fought, my daughter-in-law's mother approached me, and sometimes said bad things. At first, I complained that she shouldn't bother me. I didn't live with my son and they never quarreled with me, so why did she come to me?

Teacher said:

“Nothing you encounter is simple, accidental, or an ordinary thing. It must have to do with your cultivation and your improvement. Because you are a cultivator, your life path has been changed, and you have been given a new cultivation path; nothing on your path happens by chance.” (“Teaching the Fa in the City of Los Angeles”)

Teacher's words enlightened me. I identified the problem by looking inward. I had blamed my son, my daughter-in-law, and her mother for many years. I blamed my son for not listening to me. He got divorced, but then had problems with his new wife and constantly fought, never giving me any peace. I blamed my daughter-in-law for not managing the family affairs well and wasting money. Sometimes, I felt that this was unfair to my son. I blamed my daughter-in-law's mother for not teaching her well. I had so many attachments—how could my son possibly have a peaceful life?

A few days ago, my son had another fight with his wife. My daughter-in-law's mother took her away with all her belongings. She then called me and told me that they would separate. I realized that this was caused by my own attachments. I apologized profusely to my daughter-in-law and her mother for not educating my son well. Her mother then apologized to me, and said that she should also take some of the blame. Due to my change of heart, their situation also changed and they reconciled the next day. Actually, this is purely a predestined relationship between my son and his wife, so there's nothing that I can do to change them. If I'd let go of my emotional attachments sooner, they would've reconciled earlier.

My daughter used to get along very well with her husband. After she went to work out of town, she didn't want to return home anymore and stayed away for four or five years. I raised her son. Although my daughter mistreated her husband, my son-in-law never complained in front of me. The better he was about it, the sadder I felt. I blamed my daughter and sympathized with my son-in-law and my grandson. I often tried to persuade my daughter to change, sometimes in tears. I wanted to change her by utilizing ordinary people's sentiments, but it was in vain. For several years, I was bothered by my daughter's behavior and worried about her, still thinking that I was a good mother.

One night I had a dream. I was in my garden and had pulled up several fish-bean seedlings (a weed that hinders the growth of other crops). After I woke up, I realized that Teacher was trying to enlighten me. The material that hindered my cultivation was qing. I had to pull out it out by the roots, since cultivators are required to develop compassion. I rectified myself, then helped my daughter and explained things to her using Fa principles. I apologized to my son-in-law's mother. As the result, my daughter indeed changed and came to apologize to me. She felt sorry for what she had done to her husband, son, and me, and decided to be a good person in the future.

My husband, son, and daughter all turned out to be good people. The big stones in my heart fell out one by one, because Dafa rectified me. I followed the requirement of cultivating myself and looking inward. It is indeed, “After passing the shady willow trees, there will be bright flowers and another village ahead!” (Zhuan Falun)