My Thoughts after Reading the Article, “Regaining My Sense of Pride in Dafa”
(Clearwisdom.net) Reading the article, “Regaining My Sense of Pride in Dafa” (see http://www.clearwisdom.net/html/articles/2011/5/7/124993.html), I was moved to tears.
I once had the same pride in Dafa. During a low point in my life, I was in desperation and had the great fortune to become a Falun Dafa practitioner; to be reborn. It would be hard for non-practitioners to understand such pride. After finding Teacher, I was like a lost child who had found a loving home. Being a sentimental person, I smiled all day long and felt I was no longer alone. I used to be cowardly, but started walking around in an upright manner. I no longer had low self-esteem. I used to be fragile and unhealthy looking, but obtained a ruddy complexion and walked briskly, as if I always had the wind at my back. I was completely different than what I used to be. Teacher had given me everything. I wanted to do everything I could to prove that Dafa is something truly special.
I don't remember when my pace began to slow and I lost the feeling of striving forward. I studied the Fa less and I didn't adhere to doing the exercises, nor could I send forth righteous thoughts with a clear mind. My work suffered and my family situation became tense. There were conflicts with fellow practitioners. Where had everything gone wrong?
In the article I mentioned above, the author stated that Dafa is solemn and sacred, and that it remains forever unchanged. All of my incorrect states were caused by an unrighteous mind. When our human mindset is strong, our righteous thoughts will become weak and we will have difficulty overcoming tribulations, and thus have the feeling of helplessness.
I recently have been looking inward, and in the process, some of my bad habits were removed. This prompted me to type the following passage on my computer:
“Looking deeply inward, what attachments have I not let go of? I feel ashamed, as Teacher has given me so much and I still cannot do well. If the Fa-rectification ends tomorrow, I could only sit and weep. I want to be a good practitioner, and Teacher has tried to enlighten me again and again. What has been blocking me from being more diligent. What has kept me suffering? I must enlighten on my own and cannot always count on Teacher to tell me. There must be something I need to cultivate away. I have been foolish and unresponsive to the point that I have brought shame to Dafa, and the old forces wanted to destroy me. I know Teacher wants to save me, and I need to only listen to Teacher. I just need to do what Teacher requires me to do, and not do things I shouldn't. I will put my every thought into melding with the Fa.”
I will regain the former pride I had by sincerely following Dafa and Teacher.