(Clearwisdom.net) I was born in the 1960's and was a university student in the early 1980's. After graduating, I enthusiastically did my job at a government ministry. A few years later, the Tiananmen massacre took place, where the government killed student protestors and democracy activists with tanks and machine guns. As I watched a boy standing beside me get gunned down and three-wheelers shuttling back and forth the square carrying the dead and wounded, I was stunned in disbelief. After that, I thought that one could survive in this society only by being selfish and with deceit, but in the back of my mind, I thought that there must be more to life than this, that there must exist some higher principles. I sought out knowledge about both Buddhist and Daoist schools, but I didn't find the answers that I was looking for. Looking back at that period of time, I deeply regret that I did not begin cultivation in Dafa, even though it was spreading widely at the time. I mistakenly thought that it was merely a system for healing and fitness.
I went to the U.S. in late 2005 for work and downloaded Nine Commentaries on the Communist Party and Zhuan Falun from the Internet. I read the Nine Commentaries first and was amazed by the precise analysis of the evil nature of the Communist regime. I felt a deep admiration for what was written in the book. I quickly moved on to read Zhuan Falun, and read through it twice. I was moved to tears. I finally found the true principles that I was seeking. I found Master, who could lead me to my home in the heavens!
I immediately made several copies of Dafa books and gave them to close friends, telling them that this was the true Buddha Law, and this was an opportunity they should not miss. My mother was initially worried about my safety practicing Falun Gong in China, but when she saw my recovery from severe gastritis after starting the practice, she stopped trying to persuade me to stop. She often recites “Falun Dafa is good,” and was all right after she, an 80-year-old woman, fell down the stairs. My siblings often said to me, “You are the pride of the family. We could not take it if anything happened to you.” I replied, “In my heart, the Buddha Fa is the most important thing. I hope you will join me in cultivation soon.” My brother asked how he could start cultivating. So I recited Master's poem “Becoming One” in Hong Yin:
“Scriptures cultivate your mind,
Exercises temper your body;
One day, upon Consummation,
Zhen Shan Ren
will be with you to stay.”
My brother said happily, "I understand. I will use this as my cultivation guide.”
Due to my work environment and my starting cultivation rather late, the Minghui website (Chinese version of Clearwisdom.net) has become my only means to keep up with the progress of Fa-rectification and cultivation.
Studying the Fa, and Removing the Attachment to Fame and Personal Gain
In China, people fight for recognition, fame, and personal gain in the workplace, and acute conflicts can arise. After I began studying the Fa I realized that a cultivator should be morally upright and virtuous. I think the first test one encounters during cultivation is the attachment to recognition, fame, and personal gain.
Not long after I started cultivation, an everyday person's pursuit of those attachments affected me. My mind was not calm and I often had stomach pain. I was left with no choice but to do as Master said, study the Fa more diligently.
Soon after, I had a new workplace superior who was extremely attached to recognition and personal gain. I had a severe conflict with him, but I thought that it didn't matter if I lost my job. I also lamented that the moral values of everyday people had degenerated, but it didn't occur to me that I should look within myself.
I subsequently failed to pass two xinxing tests and finally realized that I had a very strong attachment to recognition, fame, and personal gain. Someone asked me for a favor, and in return he offered to give me a laptop. I turned down the offer, but he insisted that I accept it. In the end, I accepted the gift. In another incident, the head of a company wanted to buy me dinner. I turned him down several times. At one time when I was moving, he sent me a sum of money as a token of congratulations. To avoid embarrassment, I accepted it. I later realized that it was wrong. Fa study made me aware that I was covering up the attachment to my desires. It was this deeply buried attachment that brought on other desires - such as my career, my competitive mentality, being narrow-minded and unwilling to listen to different opinions.
Once we discover our shortcomings, we have to overcome them in order to progress in cultivation. It is truly difficult to do that. The only way to eliminate these shortcomings is through studying the Fa diligently. Gradually, my mind became peaceful, and my relationship with my colleagues improved.
Balancing Work and Cultivation
It was difficult to cultivate in my work environment. Part of my work involves glorifying the Communist regime, and I was often affected by Party culture. I pondered whether I should avoid or remain in this complex environment. I thought of transferring to another department, thinking it would be better for my cultivation to avoid direct contact with such things. I vaguely sensed that such thoughts were not in accordance with the teachings of the Fa. A cultivator should not avoid or escape from conflicts.
Dafa disciples are validating the Fa and saving sentient beings in different occupations. If I quit, someone else would do the job and make things worse. Since I have been designated to do this job, this is where I should validate the Fa and save sentient beings. Once I saw things from a different perspective, several miraculous incidents happened at work. Projects singing the praises of the Chinese Communist regime stopped for various reasons, and I had more time to study the Fa. Since the evil congregates at my workplace, I sent righteous thoughts more often to eliminate them. I also focused on sending righteous thoughts at work meetings.
I once attended a funeral, and on my way there I started to send righteous thoughts. On the way there I had strong stomach pains. When I reached the destination my stomach stopped hurting. I tried my best to send more righteous thoughts during the funeral. Not long after, a large substance in my stomach vanished from my body, and the gastric problem that had plagued me for many years disappeared.
Most of my colleagues have benefited from communist rule. To help them see through the regime's deception, I distributed information clarifying the truth, as well as ways to break through the regime’s Internet firewall. Sometimes at night I put DVDs of the Nine Commentaries and Shen Yun Performing Arts on benches where people walk past. I also attach truth-clarifying materials to car door handles.
The above is my brief cultivation experience to share with everyone. I would like thank Master for his compassion and salvation.
