(Clearwisdom.net) I was diligent concerning the Fa-rectification process and doing the three things. Recently, to be part of group Fa study and to improve as one body, helping each other to let go of the attachment to doing things and other hidden attachments, I walked quite a distance. I participated in two different Fa-study groups daily. While on my way, I spoke to people about Falun Gong, hoping to save them. In addition, I studied the Fa until midnight and then sent forth righteous thoughts. Yet, I didn't feel tired.
Alas, during the past days, I felt strong interference. I suddenly felt very sleepy and couldn't stay awake after 10 p.m. When I awoke to send forth righteous thoughts, I wasn't clearheaded. I calmed down and looked within.
A little while ago, I ran into a friend of the opposite sex of whom I used to think quite well. Though we didn't talk much, it appeared that he was interested in me. I smiled without much thought. Then, he invaded my thoughts and his smile and voice were very clear. At first I thought it was interesting and was happy about it. Then I thought that there was something not quite right. It was interference. I tried to get rid of it, but couldn't quite shake it.
Teacher said,
“Whenever there is interference of one kind or another in qigong practice, you should look for reasons within yourself and determine what you still have not let go.” (Zhuan Falun)
How could the memory of him interfere with me? Was it because I still had the attachment to lust? I felt sorry for myself. After so many years of cultivation, how come I still had not let go of that attachment? Yes, the deeply-rooted everyday people's notions are very hard to relinquish, but I must eliminate them and walk my path towards godhood. Cultivation is a very serious thing. We can't fall short of the requirements with a single thought or action. If we don't pay attention, the evil will take advantage of it. So I sent forth righteous thoughts for a long time and asked Teacher to strengthen me. I asked to completely eliminate my attachment to lust and completely eliminate the evil and desires in my field that used different forms and excuses to interfere with me.
After I found the reason and eliminated it, my cultivation state changed and I was again of clear mind. I could study the Fa until midnight without getting sleepy.
I am very grateful for Teacher's help in removing these stubborn and bad notions. Cultivation is to get rid of human attachments. If my heart is not pure, it will show up sooner or later. When that happens, I will expose it and get rid of it completely. Then I can do well again after rectifying my heart.
