(Clearwisdom.net)
Yesterday, about a dozen practitioners in our region held a small experience sharing conference. We shared with a fellow practitioner who was in the midst of tribulations. Several discussed their understandings from different perspectives on the Fa. I did not say anything. My excuse was that I was not good at speaking in public. When I returned home, I felt that this wasn't quite right. I felt that I had let down my fellow practitioners. Like a practitioner said, “We will all be lords and kings in the future cosmos at different levels. If we can't even articulate our own thoughts, how can we hold court in our own worlds?” I dug inside and found many attachments wrapped up in my silence, such as fear, vanity, selfishness, and indifference. Suddenly I realized the solemnity of the Fa and the situation. I realized I wasn't being responsible to fellow practitioners. I decided to write the following article. I hope it can be of assistance to fellow practitioners.
I became a Falun Gong practitioner in October 1998. Although I am considered to be a veteran practitioner, I was not diligent for a long time. As a result, I haven't done the three things well, and evil forces have interfered with my health to varying degrees.
Last May, I agreed to help out with my niece's wedding. However, not long before the wedding day, I got a toothache. At first it wasn't bad, and I did not take it seriously. But the next day, the pain became extremely acute, and spread through the nerves to to my head, chest, and arms. These are typical symptoms of trigeminal neuralgia, an illness I suffered often before I practiced Falun Dafa. Only then did I become alert. I sat with my legs crossed and sent forth righteous thoughts: “Completely eliminate all evil beings and factors that persecute my body. Even if I had omissions, you do not deserve to persecute me. I am a disciple of Master's. I don't recognize anything imposed on me by the old forces. My omissions will be rectified in the Fa, and I will walk the path arranged by Master.”
Half an hour later, the toothache lessened. I had lunch as usual. In the afternoon, the symptoms returned. They intensified to the point where my whole upper body and all of my nerves were hurting. I could hardly take it anymore. I lay face down in bed, and later knelt. I was sweating all over. Tears poured from my eyes. Subconsciously I had a thought, “I don't want to live. I should die.” Then I remembered that this was not from the real me. It was something external, and it was trying to take away my will and destroy me. I must not follow it. At this point, my main consciousness became clear. I knew I had to unconditionally look inward to find my omissions that had given the evil a loophole to exploit. Then I thought how Master didn't even recognize the existence of the old forces, let alone their evil arrangements! I needed to fully negate the old force arrangements. I must not cultivate within the evil arrangements. I found many attachments that needed to be eliminated.
I also thought about the few days prior. What was I waiting for? Was I waiting for the toothache? I didn't act at all like a practitioner. I decided to correct myself. Two days later when I was doing the first exercise, I still could not move my upper body. I tolerated the immense pain and did the full exercise. After I finished, aside from my jaw, I could move other parts. Then I began listening to Master's “Fa Teaching Given to the Australian Practitioners.” After three hours, I could move my jaw again. Slowly, I stood up. I could not hold back tears of gratitude. I am thankful for all that Master bore for me. Thank you, Master, for saving my life!
Through this experience, I learned that I made it through not because I found the right attachments. Instead, it was because I did not treat my symptoms as illnesses. On this point, I had one hundred percent faith in Master. Perhaps Master saved me with compassion because he saw my firm faith. He gave me another chance at this life!
Fellow practitioners in tribulations, we must remember Master's words,
“Going through hardship and suffering is an outstanding opportunity to remove karma, be cleansed of sin, purify the body, elevate your plane of thought, and rise in level--it's an extraordinarily good thing. This is a correct and upright Fa-truth.”
(“The Closer to the End, the More Diligent You Should Be.”)
Amidst tribulations, we must let go of all human attachments, use the Fa as a mirror to reflect our own behavior, look inward, cultivate our xinxing, and elevate ourselves. This is truly negating the old force arrangements.
Fellow practitioners, I believe that with other practitioners' righteous thoughts, with Master's care, and with the protection of righteous gods, as long as you can let go of human attachments, have faith in Master and the Fa, and persist without pursuing results, Master will take care of you!
