(Clearwisdom.net) I used to be a cowardly person who did not want any kind of trouble. After I learned Falun Dafa, this character of mine severely interfered with my cultivation. My fear caused me to make terrible mistakes, and what was worse, everyone around me thought badly of Falun Dafa while practitioners around me stopped being diligent in their practice. I learned a painful lesson and decided to have a fresh start in the practice.
Cultivation is not child's play. For example, I often read stories about how practitioners let go of the binds of life and death; however, there have been practitioners around me who could not put up with the suffering of letting go of life and death and they went astray in their paths of cultivation. On the one hand, I wanted to be diligent in the practice; while on the other hand, I did not have confidence to do so because I felt that there was no way that I could let go of life and death, my sentiments to my family, and my attachments of fear.
However, I have learned from Teacher's lectures that when facing whatever comes in front of us, we must look within. I developed a firm belief in Teacher and the Fa and began to truly cultivate myself. I wanted to look within in everything I came across to improve my xinxing. I memorized the teachings every day. By doing so, I found myself quickly improving. I made improvements every day; when I study the Fa, I see different meanings every time. I know that I sublimate to different realms when I see the different meanings of the Fa. One day, I realized that there was nothing to be scared of to let go of life and death. It was like taking off a piece of clothing. I did not force myself to feel this way, it came to me naturally. I used to think that being able to let go of life and death was a heroic act. Now I know clearly that as my xinxing has continued to improve, the ideas of letting go of life and death are simple and easy.
Of course, letting go of life and death is not the end of cultivation. We still have many human notions to let go of. The point is to follow Teacher's instructions, to study the Fa well, and to look within. Through this manner, there are not any attachments that we cannot let go. As long as we are willing to change, there are no tribulations that are too hard to endure.
When we blame others for the mistakes we make or the problems we have; when we believe that we did not do anything wrong in a conflict; these often result in an accumulation of tribulations and a magnification of attachments. As a result, when a test comes along, it is often too hard to pass - some practitioners are imprisoned, some get sickness karma, and some fall into financial crises. When we fail a test, we often feel that it is the end of the world and that the test is too hard to pass. Hence, it is a serious problem that we ignore looking within and continue to accumulate tribulations. We should be responsible for ourselves and be strict with ourselves. The old forces insist on doing what they want to. However, we do not acknowledge them, not by something that we say, but through something that we strive to achieve in our practice. Looking within is a great way to deny the old forces.
