My Enlightenment on Improving Xinxing

(Clearwisdom.net)

I am a Falun Dafa practitioner from the countryside. As a result of the persecution, I had to leave my hometown and go to Wuhan City, where I got a job in a small company. I am the cook for the owner. Compared to others, even though my salary is fairly low, I have plenty of time for Fa study. Both the owner and his wife are kind. After I clarified the facts to them, they withdrew from the Chinese Communist Party (CCP) and its affiliated organizations. So my cultivation environment is comparatively relaxed, and I feel very fortunate to have an environment like this. Since I came to Wuhan City, I have been studying Zhuan Falun and Hong Yin by reciting them. I have been reading Teacher's lectures. Even though my environment is fairly easy, a practitioner needs to improve his or her xinxing and pass tests. It wouldn't be a good environment if there were no trials to overcome.

Teacher said in Zhuan Falun:

"There are different conflicts for people of different social classes."

"I would say that friction among one another that tempers your xinxing is not any easier than that and can be even worse—it is also quite tough."

"As long as you have them, all of those attachments must be removed in different environments. You will be made to stumble, whereby you will become enlightened to the Tao. This is how one goes through cultivation practice."

I would like to describe the few xinxing tests that I have encountered during these few days and how well or poorly I have done. Due to my limited level, please point out anything inappropriate.

One morning I was riding a bicycle to go to an outdoor supermarket to buy vegetables. At this market, the sidewalks are very narrow, just over a meter wide. My bicycle was right beside me as I bent over to buy vegetables. A motorcyclist raced by me and hit my bicycle. My bicycle fell down and hit me. Luckily the hand that I was using to hold vegetables was close to the ground, so I was able to land on that arm. Otherwise I'd have fallen down and crushed the vegetables. By the time I stood up, the motorcyclist was already five meters away. I said to her quite angrily, "What's wrong with you?" She replied, "What do you want? I just barely touched you. What's the big deal?" I replied, "Please watch your tone!" The vendor saw it and said, "Take it easy. Don't be like that young lady."

I quickly came to my senses: That's right, how could I be the same as an ordinary person? I tried to calm down and tried my best to hold back the words I was ready to let loose to argue with her. However, my heart was still pounding. In the end, I sighed and said to myself, "Look at people today." As soon as I thought that, I realized something right away and reminded myself, "Why is it that I still cannot let it go?" I then began to recite the Fa: "For a cultivator, one needs to look inward, so that one can eliminate all kinds of attachments. Also, one will have to face trials big and small. He is right, I am at fault, what's the point of arguing?" (Hong Yin III) (Unofficial translation) After I recited this a few times, I was finally able to calm down. Recalling Teacher's Fa, I was full of regret. I had failed such a small trial. I had quarrelled with her and then didn't let go of my anger for quite a while. Only with the help of Teacher's Fa were the bad elements in me dissolved and was I finally able to calm down.

After a while, my throat began to ache, and then I started coughing. I didn't pay much attention to it and still did what I was supposed to do. The next afternoon, I still wasn't better, but felt cold for a while and then hot. I felt like vomiting, but nothing came up. It was so painful! Even late in the day, I still wasn't able to eat. After sending forth righteous thoughts, I went to bed. I was breathing very heavily and kept coughing. I kept looking inward, but I had a hard time finding out where my shortfall was. Apparently, I didn't pass this xinxing test well, so the old forces took advantage of my loophole and persecuted me. Because my throat itched, I couldn't calm down while sending forth righteous thoughts. I had to beg Teacher, saying, “Teacher, I didn't enlighten or maintain my xinxing. I knew that I was wrong. I promise you that, from now on, I will not make the same mistake. Teacher, please strengthen me.” After a short while, I felt much better and didn't feel like vomiting anymore, and my temperature went down as well.

This morning, after I finished doing the exercises and sending forth righteous thoughts, as usual I rode my bicycle to do my grocery shopping. Even though I had stopped coughing, there was still a tickle in my throat. I rode very slowly, and there were not many people on the street. While I was riding on the sidewalk, I saw two people pushing a big motorcycle, so I figured there was something wrong with their motorcycle. They were on the right side of the sidewalk, and I overtook them, leaving a space between us of over a meter. When I was about a dozen meters away from them, I heard someone running up behind me, getting closer and closer. I did not pay any attention to it and only focused on the road in front of me. Suddenly a heavy man in his 20s, about six feet tall with a square face, grabbed my right arm with his left hand. He made a fist with his right hand and punched me solidly in my right ear, right eye, nose, and jaw. After he was done, he just left. He didn't say a word as he attacked me, just did it quickly. I was totally dumbfounded. As he was grabbing me, I had no idea that he was going to hit me like that. It felt as if he had split my head open. I felt dizzy, my nose hurt and ran, and tears ran down my face. Because he moved so fast while I was riding my bicycle, although I shook from his blow, I didn't fall down. Even though I felt dizzy, I was very clear in my heart: For an unknown person like him to hit me, I must have owed him a debt.

I started recalling Teacher's words in “Dafa Disciples Must Study the Fa:”

"I must not have done well in some regard. Or if I really didn’t do something wrong, perhaps it’s that I’m paying off karma that I owe. I’m going to handle it well and pay off what I should."

I continued riding my bicycle as if nothing had happened. Surprisingly, for a strong young person like him, when he hit me with all his strength, it didn't hurt, but my face felt hot. I kept riding my bicycle. After another 200 meters, I felt as if my face was burning. I thought to myself, "Am I bleeding? Why do I feel so hot?" When I touched my face, it wasn't bleeding. I thought that I was OD, it was all good. His blow might help with eliminating my itchy throat. Teacher said in Zhuan Falun:

"When one runs into a conflict, it may manifest in a xinxing tribulation between one another. If you can endure it, your karma will be eliminated, your xinxing will improve, and your gong will increase as well."

On my way home on my bicycle, it felt as if someone were pushing me, and the tickle in my throat did not bother me anymore. It was as if the world became much broader. I thought to myself, "I did well in today's test." As soon as I thought that, I felt there was something wrong with me. I said to myself, "Why have you developed the attachment of zealotry? You have practiced for ten years, and this is something you should handle well. Teacher was compassionate in using a small test to help you improve your xinxing, but you failed the test. Now you didn't wake up until the old forces took advantage of your loophole to force this persecution on you. Don't you think that perhaps you are not cultivating so well? What are you so delighted about?"

Through these two trials, I came to realize that benevolent Teacher doesn't want to have even one disciple fall behind. However, Buddha Fa cultivation is extremely serious. As a cultivator, one improves one's level amidst trials and tribulations, and one's every thought and action must comply with the standards of a practitioner.

I am writing this article to help practitioners who are falling behind to quickly wake up and then catch up. In the time to come, we should study the Fa solidly and try to memorize the Fa. Teacher has put all the theories of humans, heaven, and the cosmos in the Fa. As long as we put our hearts into Fa-study and use the Fa to guide our thoughts and actions, then we'll be able to overcome our trials and tribulations. Then we will be able to save sentient beings in a more powerful way so that Teacher will worry about us less.