Removing My Competitive Mentality
(Clearwisdom.net) I was raised under the influence of the Chinese Communist Party (CCP) culture, and was educated to have a very strong competitive mentality. This mentality was still very strong after I left school, and I always wanted to be better than others in everything. After I learned Falun Dafa, I realized that this competitive mentality was very bad. However, this mindset was already deeply ingrained, and I was forever comparing myself to fellow practitioners in Dafa work, Fa study and cultivation.
If fellow practitioners read one lecture of Zhuan Falun each day, then I would read two lectures, not caring if I had studied the Fa with a calm mind or not. When talking to people about Falun Dafa and asking them to quit the CCP and its associated organizations, I always wanted to get more people to quit than other practitioners. I didn't have a calm mind and was often afraid that I would fall behind in my cultivation. With such a strong competitive mentality, I gradually developed a strong attachment of jealousy.
I was jealous when practitioners had better talents or skills than me to help validate the Fa, and to hear of practitioners being able to help people quit the CCP with ease. I was also jealous when I learned that some practitioners have better cultivation environments and were able to attend more Fa study groups, experience sharings, or could spend more of their time on Dafa projects. However, after I read the recent article collection "Removing Jealousy" on the Minghui website, I noticed my strong attachment to competition, which in turn had heightened my mentality of jealousy. With these strong human notions, I cannot truly advance in my cultivation.
When I shared my thoughts in a group Fa study, a practitioner suggested that I recite one of Master's poems.
“A wicked person is born of jealousy.
Out of selfishness and anger he complains about unfairness towards himself.
A benevolent person always has a heart of compassion.
With no discontentment or hatred, he takes hardship as joy.
An enlightened person has no attachments at all.
He quietly observes the people of the world deluded by illusions.”
(“Realms" in Essentials for Further Advancement)
I kept reciting it when I returned home and told myself not to acknowledge that jealousy was a part of me, and that it was just a negative element that I hadn't yet eliminated. After a while, I could feel the mentality of jealousy becoming much less. I also decided to give up the absurd thought that I wanted to cultivate to a higher level than others.
“The issue of jealousy is very serious as it directly involves the matter of whether you can complete cultivation practice. If jealousy is not abolished, everything that you have cultivated will become fragile.” (Zhuan Falun)
As every practitioner has different inborn qualities, understandings and cultivation paths, one will have different abilities and different cultivation states. Fellow practitioners can learn from each other and share our cultivation experiences and shortcomings. We should strive to improve, but not for the purpose of outdoing fellow practitioners in clarifying the truth or validating the Fa. We should not compete in ordinary human society. Focusing on competition will affect our ability to look inward and cultivate solidly. As long as we study the Fa diligently, we will come to know the Fa's standards on different levels and know how to follow them.